He

Robert A. Johnson

• Publisher: HarperCollins e-books
• Year: 2009
• ISBN:
  9780061957611
• Topic: Psicologia
• Subtopic: Psicoanalisi

"Entertaining, informative, thought-provoking, mysterious, poetic. Men who read it will surely learn much about themselves, and women—particularly those who are unfortunately misled into thinking of men as "the enemy"—will find it a real eye-opener."—Ruth Tiffany Barnhouse, M.D., Th.M., Harvard University

Robert A. Johnson's classic work exploring the differences between man and woman, female and male—newly reissued.

What does it really mean to be a man? What are some of the landmarks along the road to mature masculinity? And what of the feminine components of a man's personality?

Women have developed, over the centuries, considerable expertise in the technique of adapting to men, and for good reason, but that is not the same as truly understanding them. The transition from male childhood to real manhood is a complicated struggle, and explored in this book.

As timely today as when it was first published, He provides a fascinating look into male identity and how female dynamics influence men.

Parsifal

The story now turns from the Fisher King and his wound to the story of a boy who is of so little consequence that he has no name. He is born in Wales, during that time a country geographically on the fringe of the known world and a cultural backwater, the least likely place for a hero to appear and it reminds one of another Hero who was born in an unlikely place. What good could come out of Nazareth? Who would ever think of Wales as possibly producing an answer to our suffering? Myth informs us that our redemption will come from the least likely place. This reminds us again that it will be a humbling experience to find our redemption from the highly sophisticated wound of the Fisher King. The origin of the word ‘humble’ traces back to ‘humus’—it means of the earth, feminine, unsophisticated. This reminds us of the biblical injunction, “Except ye become as a little child, ye cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

In his typology of the personality Dr. Jung observes that every educated person has one superior function of the four functions of feeling, thinking, sensing, and intuiting, which make up the human temperament. Also as a part of our psychology there is an opposing inferior function. While our superior function produces most of the high value of our life, the more developed personality strengths, it also leads us into our Fisher King wound. Our inferior function, that part of us which is least differentiated, will heal us from that wound. So it is the innocent fool from Wales who will heal the Fisher King.

The boy is of such lowly origin that he has no name when we first meet him; later we will learn that his name is Parsifal—innocent fool. The name also has a deeper meaning—he who draws the opposites together—and foretells his healing role, something like the meaning of the Chinese word, tao.

Dr. Jung describes an occasion when he was forced to rely on just this faculty in himself. The falling out between Jung and Freud occurred over the nature of the unconscious. Freud said that the unconscious is the repository of all the inferior elements of the personality, the unvalued things of one’s life. Jung insisted that the unconscious is also the matrix, the artesian well from which all creativity springs. Freud would have none of this, so the two parted. That was a frightening experience for Dr. Jung since he was young and untried, with no reputation of his own. It looked as if he were finishing an abortive career before it began.

Dr. Jung knew where to look for the cure of his desperate wound and looked to his inner world. He locked himself in his room and waited on the unconscious. Soon he was down on the floor playing childish games. This led to the recall of his childhood fantasies which soon filled his attention. For months he labored daily in the privacy of his fantasy and in his backyard he built stone villages, towns and forts. He had fantasied all of this as a boy. He trusted his childlike experience and that was the beginning of an outpouring from the collective unconscious from which we have the legacy of Jungian psychology. A great man was humble (earthy) enough to trust his Parsifal for his cure.

Parsifal (we will call him that though he does not have a name until much later in the story) is raised by his mother, whose name is Heart’s Sorrow. His father is dead and he knows nothing of him. He has no brothers or sisters. The redeeming hero in mythology often has no father and is raised in humble and lonely circumstances.

Parsifal grows up in primitive, peasant way, wears homespun clothes, has no schooling, asks no questions, and is completely untutored.

Early in his adolescence he is out playing one day when five knights came riding by wearing all their impressive equipment: the scarlet and gold trappings, the armor, the shields, the lances, all the accouterments of the knighthood. They dazzled poor Parsifal so completely that he dashed home to tell his mother he had seen five gods. He was on fire with this marvelous sight and decided to leave immediately to join the five wonderful men.

His mother burst into tears after seeing there was no way to stop her son from following in the footsteps of his father, who had been a knight and who was killed in some foolishness. His mother had tried to shield Parsifal from knowing anything of his lineage, but no mother has ever succeeded in keeping her son from danger when his father’s blood begins to stir in him.

Heart’s Sorrow (for this is the character of the moment as viewed by any mother) then tells Parsifal that his father had been a knight and been killed rescuing a fair maiden. His two brothers were knights and had also been killed. Heart’s Sorrow had taken Parsifal to a remote place to raise him in hope he could be shielded from a similar fate.

Heart’s Sorrow gives Parsifal her blessing and releases him from her protection. She can not resist giving him advice as he leaves: to respect fair damsels and instruction not to ask too many questions. Also he receives the gift of a single homespun garment she has woven for him. These are the legacies she bestows upon him. These two gifts will reverberate throughout the whole story and be instrumental in many of the complexities of what follows.

PARSIFAL’S JOURNEY

Parsifal goes off happily to find his five knights and begin his career as a man.

Parsifal asks everyone he meets, “Where are the five knights?” The look in an adolescent’s eyes when he searches for his five knights is the question, “Where is it?”—the “it” always being only vaguely defined. A youth has had his first glimpse of meaning and value in the form of the five-ness of life and he searches throughout most of his adult life for experiences that will embody this quality. The number five implies the completion of life and is the root from which we form our word, quintessence, the fifth essence. Five implies completion. The five is everywhere, but elusively, also nowhere. It seems cruel to flash a vision of completion to a sixteen-year-old boy and set him on the road to find embodiment of that quality. But such is the motivation of any true spiritual life.

In his searching Parsifal comes to a tent. He never had seen a tent before, for he had grown up in a simple hut. The tent is the most magnificent place he has ever seen, so he presumes he has come to the divine cathedral of his mother’s stories. He bursts into the tent to worship and finds a fair damsel. This is the first of a glittering, dazzling, incomprehensible array of fair damsels whom Parsifal will meet.

Parsifal remembers his mother’s instructions to treat women fairly. He also remembers not to ask too many questions. He proceeds to cherish the fair maiden by embracing her and taking the ring from her finger as a talisman from her. This will be his inspiration for the rest of his life.

Have you ever seen a boy on his first date? He is always Parsifal blundering into the fair damsel’s tent for the first time.

Parsifal had been told by his mother that he would have all the nourishment, all the food that he would need for his life in God’s church, and it is all there before him in the form of a table set for a banquet. The damsel is waiting for her beloved knight, who is courting her, and she has spread out her best for him. But to Parsifal this is prophesy working out perfectly; here is God’s temple, here is the fair damsel, here is everything he could wish to eat. Everything is just as his mother said it would be. Parsifal sits down to eat at the table and find that life is good.

The damsel by this time is becoming aware that she is in the presence of an extraordinary person. She is not angry for she sees that before her is a truly holy, simple, guileless person. She implores Parsifal to leave immediately because if her knight comes and finds him in the tent Parsifal will be killed.

Parsifal obeys the maiden and leaves her tent. He finds that life is good just as his mother had taught him.

THE RED KNIGHT

Parsifal asks everyone he finds how he may become a knight. He is informed that he should go to Arthur’s Court where he will be knighted by the King if he is strong and brave enough.

He finds his way to Arthur’s Court where he is laughed out of the great hall for his naivete, the look of his homespun garment, and his rashness at asking to be knighted. He is told that knighthood is an arduous life and that to be made a knight is an honor won only after much valor and noble work. Parsifal asks again and again until finally he is brought before King Arthur himself. Arthur, a kindly man, doesn’t scorn Parsifal but tells him he must learn a great deal and be versed in all the knightly arts of battle and courtliness before he can be knighted.

Now there is in Arthur’s Court a damsel who has not smiled nor laughed for six years. The legend in the Court is that when the best knight in the world appears, the damsel who has not smiled for six years will burst into laughter. The instant this damsel sees Parsifal, she bursts into laughter and joy. The Court is mightily impressed with this; apparently the best knight in the world has appeared! Here is this naive youth, this boy in a homespun garment, completely untutored, and the maiden is laughing. Extraordinary!

Until the Parsifal part of a man’s nature appears, there is a feminine part of him that has never smiled, that is incapable of happiness, and she bursts into laughter and joy at the sight of Parsifal. If one can awaken the Parsifal in a man, another quality in him immediately becomes happy. When the court sees the doleful maiden laughing they treat Parsifal more seriously and King Arthur knights him then and there!

I had an experience of this recently. A man came to my office in tears, caught in the darkness of life. It was difficult to talk with him as he could see nothing but the dread of life. So I told him old tales and drew him into taking part in the stories. I drew out the Parsifal in him and found his childlike quality. Soon he was laughing and the maiden in him who hadn’t known joy for six years burst forth. Then he had energy and courage to bring to his cheerless life. The awakening of Parsifal in a man constellates energy in him and he can function again.

Parsifal returns to Arthur and says, “I have a request. I want the horse and the armor of the Red Knight.” Everyone laughs uproariously because there has not been a knight in King Arthur’s Court strong enough to stand up to the Red Knight. Arthur too laughs and says, “You have my permission. You may have the horse and armor of the Red Knight—if you can get it.”

As Parsifal leaves Arthur’s ...