Bob was so stressed out from his second session with the CEO that he decided to stop at the health club on his way homeāsomething he was beginning to do a bit more frequently, despite his dislike of rigid exercise routines. Once on the road, he called his wife from his cell phone to make sure she concurred with his plans. There was no answer, so he left a message for her.
He did a full routine, nearly burning himself out, then enjoyed an extraordinarily long respite in the spa and the steam room. He watched CNN on the locker-room TV as he dressed. Maybe the spa, the steam room, and CNN are the reasons Iām finally getting more into the health club routine, he told himself.
Thenāas refreshed and relaxed as heād been in daysāhe drove home at a full ten miles per hour below the speed limit. Unusual behavior for Always-in-a-Hurry Bob.
He arrived to an empty house. No wife. No daughter. No son. Where had they all headed off to? He was just settling in to watch the fourth quarter of an NBA game when his family walked in.
āDad, where were you?ā his daughter demandedāhalf screaming, half in tearsāas she stormed off to her room.
āYeah, Dad. Good job,ā Bobās son added as he grabbed a slice of cold pizza from the fridge and headed toward his room. āWe were all wondering where you were. You promised youād be there.ā
Bob was suddenly aloneāexcept for the chilling fact that his disgruntled wife was still within striking distance. āOkay, Bob, I want to know something. Donāt you ever look at that fancy, expensive electronic calendar of yours? How could you forget something as important as Michelleās line dance competition?ā
āThat was tonight?ā Bob the Completely Out-of-Touch Manager asked.
āYes, Bob. It was tonight. Somehow it didnāt make your dandy new priority list. You seem to participate in everything at the last minuteāif at all!ā
Those words burned bitterly in Bobās mind as his wife angrily ascended the stairs to their bedroom. Her last audible words were, āI am sure disappointed in you, Robert. And so are your children.ā
Bob sat there for the longest time as he agonized over his wifeās parting comments. Countless thoughts poured through his mind.
Am I that bad a husband?
Am I that awful a father?
Am I an undesirable employee?
Am I really a Last-Minute Manager?
Bob was immersed in his thoughts and deep in remorse when his wife quietly came back down the stairs and slipped into the family room.
āIām sorry, Bob. I shouldnāt have been so hard on you, but Michelle was excited that you were going to come to her line dance competition and when you didnāt show, she was really hurt.ā
āIām the one who should be saying āIām sorry,ā ā said Bob. āI feel like a complete failure.ā
āYouāre not a failure, Bob,ā she responded as she wrapped her arms around him. āYouāre justāweāre justāgoing through a lot right now. And this so-called Chief Effectiveness Officer isnāt making things any easier.ā
āIām not so sure about that,ā Bob suggested. āI think she may be helping me see things in a different light, even though it didnāt help tonight. In fact, today I got another mystery envelope. Iām going to get through it, no matter what. I donāt care how unusual this whole process is, Iām going to stick with it to the end. Iām going to get taken off probation. And, blast it, from now on, Iām not going to be known as a last-minute manager!ā
Bob headed for the study. He opened the envelope and pulled out a single sheet of paper. There were no questions to answer. Just a short list of thoughts to consider.
PROPRIETY: THE BILL OF RIGHTS
- Do the right thing.
- Do it for the right reasons.
- Do it with the right people.
- Do it at the right time.
- Do it in the right order.
- Do it with intensity.
- Do it for the right results.
Bob studied the words, then studied them some more. He thought about the events that had just taken place that evening.
If this means what I think it does, I violated the rights of my family in a big way tonight. I sure didnāt do the right thing. The right thing would have been to attend Michelleās competition. I couldāve been there if I had just taken ten seconds to check my schedule. The right reason is because sheās my daughter and she wants me to see her perform. The right people? Well, that would be my family. Thereās no question that I did everything at the wrong time in the wrong order for the wrong results. I think I need to apologizeāand do it with intensity.
Bob stuffed the sheet of paper back into the envelope and went to find his daughter. He took her in his arms and said, āMichelle, I canāt begin to tell you how sorry I am that I missed your competition. I just blew it. I have no excuse. I donāt know how I can make it up to you but Iāll try. I promise you one thing, though. Youāre going to see some changes in my behavior. I want to be a part of your life and be a dad you can love and be proud of.ā
Michelle looked up at him with tears in her eyes. āThanks, Dad.ā
The world is suddenly a better place, Bob thought as he headed down the hall to his sonās room to finish the nightās apologies. When he finally climbed into bed with his wife, they didnāt say anything, but just hugged each other.
Bob the More Determined Manager actually showed up for his appointment with the CEO five minutes early. I hope she notices! She didnāt. Or if she did, she didnāt acknowledge it.
āWhat do you think about the second P?ā she asked.
āI personally discovered last night that āproprietyā not only helps us determine what our priorities should be, but also what needs to be done to ensure that what we do is high quality,ā Bob said confidently.
āYouāre right. Thatās exactly it.ā
āI imagine it will take some time and practice for me to be able to apply the Bill of Rights to all of my priorities on a consistent basis.ā
āIt will,ā the CEO agreed. āBut if you stick with me, youāll discover that Iāve found some unique ways to help you with that.ā
āWhat ways?ā
āHereās a simple example: Iām going to begin to deliver a daily voicemail message for interested employees. Anyone in the company will have the option of dialing a special extension to listen to it. Iāve researched all sorts of little nuggets of time-tested, life-changing wisdom from a variety of sources, and I will be sharing them in those brief messages.ā
āDo you have an example of these nuggets?ā Bob the Still Somewhat Skeptical Manager asked.
āSure. Hereās one youāve heard, I imagine. āWhat a person plants, he or she will harvest.ā ā
āIāve heard that. āAs you sow, so shall you reap,ā right?ā
āThatās it. Of course, this is not simply about corn or beans or wheat. Itās about life in general. If parents donāt spend time with their kids when theyāre youngāteaching them right from wrong and listening to their thoughts and dreamsāthey canāt expect to have good relationships with them later in life. They canāt count on their kids to make sound decisions, either. So thatās a priority.ā
āThat makes sense,ā Bob the Still Feeling Guilty Father said. āAnd I guess you could say that particular thought is time-tested.ā
āHow about this thought? āTwo wrongs donāt make a right.ā ā
āIāve heard that one, too.ā
āAs true as that seems to be, we have a twist on that saying, based on the Bill of Rights. āTwo rights donāt make a wrong.ā No matter what decision is facing you, if you can apply two or more of the ārightsā to the situation, youāll seldom go wrong. The more rights you bring to the situation, the better the outcome will likely be.ā
āInteresting thought,ā said Bob.
āHereās another one: āTreat others the way you would like to be treated.ā ā
Bob jumped right in again. āYou mentioned that one the first day we met. āDo unto others as you would have them do unto you.ā ā
āRight again. The point is, thatās one of the time-tested truths that serves as a guideline for how our company intends to conduct business now and in the future. Far too many businesses operate under the principle āDo others in before they do you in.ā ā
āThatās the truth,ā Bob agreed.
āIn our company, our long-term goal is to do our best to make sure that everyone comes out aheadāour customers, our suppliers, our coworkers, and, yes, even our managers and upper-level executives. Our new goal will be to make certain that we never have a labor-management conflict again. Our people need to trust managementāand vice versa.ā
āThatās an impressive goal!ā Bob the Impressed Manager exclaimed.
āNot so impressive when we understand what our priorities are, and how the principles of propriety mesh with them.ā
āStill, our company has never thought this way before. I guess thatās why Iām amazed.ā
āAs you can probably guess, most of my morning phone messages will apply my nuggets of wisdom to the Three Pās and the Bill of Rights.ā
āI assume you have specific definitions for all of the points on the Bill of Rights, then,ā Bob supposed.
āI do, but Iām hoping that youāll give me your definitions.ā
Bob eagerly agreed to take on this latest assignment.
āWhat do you imagine we mean by āDo the right thingā?ā the CEO asked.
āIād guess you mean that thereās right and wrong, and you want our people to choose whatās right over whatās wrong,ā Bob suggested.
āWe sure do. But how do you know whatās ārightā and whatās āwrongā?ā
āYou got me there,ā Bob confessed. āInstincts, maybe?ā
āGood instincts help, but I like to use whatās become known as The Ethics Check,ā said the CEO.
āWhen confronted by a potential ethical problemāwhere right and wrong may be at oddsāI ask myself three questions:
1. Is it legal?
- Will I be violating either civil law or company policy?
2. Is it balanced?
- Is it fair to all concerned in the short term as well as in the long term? Does it promote win-win relationships?
3. How will it make me feel about myself?
- Will it make me proud?
- Would I feel good if my decision were to be published in the newspaper?
- Would I feel good if my family knew about it?
āThe first question is about legality, the second about fairness, and the third involves self-esteem. Most people only ask the legal question. But there are times when something may be legal but not ethical.ā
āCan you give me an example?ā
āSure,ā the CEO replied. āWeāve all read about examples where something was legal in terms of accounting procedures, but unfair to coworkers, customers, and stockholders. If the top managers knew that what they did was going to be made public, they probably would have thought twice about it.ā
Bob reflected on her words for a moment. āYouāre right. Just because something is legal doesnāt make it right. You have to ask all three questions. Thatās powerful.ā
āI think so,ā said the CEO with a smile. āBut the next principleādo it for the right reasonsāis a bit more tricky.ā
āWhat do you mean ātrickyā?ā
āIt has to do with motives. Think about Martin Luther King, Jr., for example. He did the right thing. He worked for civil rights. But did he do it for personal fame? Did he do it to make money? Or did he do it to help millions of people attain equality?ā
āFor equality,ā Bob quickly replied.
āRight! Although he never made a fortune as the result of his efforts, he did achieve a measure of fame. But that was merely a by-product of his efforts to erase the boundaries of race and color. His goal wasāaccording to The Ethics Check mottoāto āpromote win-win relationships.ā ā
āYet he died from an assassinās bullet,ā Bob observed.
āTrue. Doing the right thing for the right reasons offers no assurance of personal safe...