Bulletproof Your Job

Stephen Viscusi

• Publisher: HarperCollins e-books
• Year: 2009
• ISBN:
  9780061982606
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Careers

There's no doubt about it, today's workplace is an uncertain and treacherous territory. Newspaper headlines are proclaiming near record-high levels of unemployment, and, in these tough times, companies are making swift judgments about human capital.

The bottom line: No job is safe.

But there are tried and true ways to fight off sudden unemployment successfully, and the number one weapon in your arsenal is workplace expert and television and radio personality Stephen Viscusi's career manifesto, Bulletproof Your Job. Based on four simple strategies for dodging the layoff bullet and a long list of ways to implement these strategies, Bulletproof Your Job may save you from your worst enemy at work—which just so happens to be you.

Quite simply, observe these imperative rules:

Be visible. Be easy. Be useful. Be ready.

With plenty of distinct action items, dozens of anecdotal illustrations and examples, and lists and tips for adapting bulletproof strategies to your own situation, Bulletproof Your Job will show you how to leverage the black-and-white stuff—your title, salary, and tenure—with the gray stuff—your relationship with coworkers, visibility in the workplace, and ability to make your boss look good—to ward off the pink stuff—the dreaded layoff notice. While you're at it, you'll be creating a long-term strategy for job security and career advancement that ensures you'll never feel this vulnerable again.

1

BE VISIBLE

Here’s the bulletproof truth: If your superiors don’t see you or know who you are, you’re very easy to let go. Out of sight, out of mind, and—poof!—you’re gone. Accentuating and improving your physical presence and raising your overall profile at work are, together, the first steps toward locking down your job security.

I’ll be honest: much of what you need to do is to create a perception that makes you more visible, more notable, and ultimately more valuable to your company. That means, for example, that you don’t actually have to pull all-nighters twice a week to show how committed you are to your job. You do need to arrive at work before your boss and leave after she does in order to create the impression that you’re there all the time. And you need to go out of your way to meet and engage people—coworkers, managers, even the CEO—who will unwittingly become a part of a team of people who will help you bulletproof your job.

I’m not being cynical, I’m being practical. And I’m not telling you to fake it, I’m telling you to make damn sure you’re not invisible at the critical times when decisions are being made about who stays and who goes. Because the invisible guy is the first to go.

1. ARRIVE EARLY AND STAY LATE

The joke goes that 80 percent of success is just showing up. I disagree. I think that 80 percent of success is showing up early. More to the bulletproof point, it’s showing up earlier than your boss. The rest is a magical combination of talent, exceptional effort, and good luck. For now, though, let’s just concentrate on showing up early for work, shall we?

Arriving at work early shows your commitment and industriousness. Of course, you need to get there only five minutes before your boss or coworkers every day to come off as the world’s most committed employee. Besides making it clear to your superiors that you take your job seriously enough to be more than on time, showing up early—before the phone starts ringing or your coworkers start bugging you—gives you valuable time to prepare for your day. Or rather, it gives you time to look as if you’re prepared for your day. Sure, it’s a bluff, but if you make it a habit, you’ll always be ten steps ahead of the idiots who straggle in late all the time.

The same goes for meetings or conference calls or any other appointments. Be there early to get your ducks in a row. Showing up late, looking unprepared or discombobulated, isn’t quite the impression to cultivate if you want to keep your job. Bosses and coworkers hate when you show up late for meetings. Hate it. So don’t.

JUST SO YOU KNOW

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It doesn’t matter if your company pays for your health club membership or even provides an on-site health facility—that’s to make it look good, not to help you lower your cholesterol. Installing a swanky gym on the premises is strictly for PR purposes; it looks great when the company is being profiled on 60 Minutes, but no one expects you to actually use it. Same goes for those nifty pool tables, nap rooms, and massage services offered by youthful and progressive CEOs. If the stock in your publicly traded company is in free fall, I guarantee the pool-playing slackers will be sent packing long before the CEO’s private jet is listed on eBay. So admire those perks, brag about them to your friends, but, whatever you do, don’t get caught using them.

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No one likes a martyr, but managers love an employee who is willing to stay late in order to get the job done. Be willing to do whatever is necessary timewise in order to complete a project. This doesn’t have to make you a slave to your job or a doormat for your boss; do it on an as-necessary basis, and it will demonstrate your commitment to your work.

Here’s another easy bluff: Don’t stay late, just stay later. Leaving a mere ten minutes after your boss has gone reinforces the impression that you’re the world’s most committed employee. It also shows that you’re not a clock-watching nine-to-fiver. People who say “I’m outta here” the minute the whistle blows every day are bound to be “outta there” come downsizing time.

While you’re at it, skip the two-hour lunches—you don’t want to be MIA when something important is going down at the office. And you don’t want to give the impression that what you do on your lunch hour—such as shopping, going to the gym, or visiting the dentist—is more important than the work that’s waiting for you on your desk. Appointments are for weekends, and working out is for before or after work. If you must take care of personal affairs during your lunch hour, be clandestine about it. No one needs to know you’re at your techno-Pilates class or getting your eyebrows waxed—especially your boss.

JUST SO YOU KNOW

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Working through lunch to meet a pressing deadline is one thing. Eating at your desk every day is another. As a general rule, don’t do it. Here’s why:

• 
  It’s inappropriate. Your desk is your workstation, not the dinner table. You wouldn’t (or would you?) use a fingernail clipper at your desk, neither should you use a knife and fork there. The separation of work and personal activities—including eating—is just good manners on the job.
• 
  It’s inconsiderate to your coworkers. No one should have to smell your tuna sandwich or watch you picking popcorn out of your teeth at your desk.
• 
  It doesn’t look professional. Even if you brown-bag it every day, eat in the office dining area or off site.

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Do step out of the office for lunch or even just a short walk to clear your head. Better yet, do it while your boss is at lunch, so she never sees you not working and never has to wonder where you are. But keep it to twenty minutes or less, unless you’re having a business lunch, in which case make sure your boss knows where you are, and aim to keep it to an hour, ninety minutes tops.

There’s always someone in the office who can’t sit still, always getting up for a cup of coffee, visiting the bathroom ten times a day, endlessly making the rounds to chat with friends. This is not a supereffective visibility strategy. Avoid frequent breaks—you don’t want your boss thinking you’re away from your desk more than you’re behind it. And when it comes to the nearly extinct cigarette break, I say go ahead and smoke like a chimney in your private life, but don’t let your superiors see you loitering in front of the building dragging on a cigarette. Everything is wrong with that image.

Be judicious in taking time off. That monthlong bike tour of Italy? Take it another time. No one’s saying you shouldn’t take a vacation or long weekend to which you are entitled. You should just be very aware of timing and the impression your taking time off gives to your boss and colleagues, especially when things are tough at work. Weekend weddings are generally acceptable; long holidays—especially when business is either busy or slumping—are not. This isn’t France, you know!

Pay close attention to exactly what’s going in the office when you make plans. Think about spacing out your vacation time in chunks of three or four days at a time instead of two weeks at once, so you’re not out of the picture for too long a stretch.

JUST SO YOU KNOW

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Smoking is a bad habit, unattractive, and harmful to your health. So don’t do it—unless your boss does. Smokers love other smokers, and bosses who smoke love employees who share the habit. What better time to bond with your boss than leaning against the front of your building puffing away? A sneaky guy I used to know actually took up smoking when he realized that his boss was a nic addict. Not good for his lungs but he enjoyed a connection with his boss that his coworkers didn’t.

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Same goes for sick days. If you have a hacking cough or a 104º fever, by all means, keep all those germs at home where they belong. But if you’re just hung over from watching the NCAA basketball finals until 1:00 A.M. with your buddies, suck it up and get to work. You don’t want to be known as the guy who’s always out sick.

And by the way, you really don’t want to be known as someone who needs “mental health days.” Britney Spears needs mental health days—...