The Merry Wives Of Windsor
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The Merry Wives Of Windsor

William Shakespeare

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eBook - ePub

The Merry Wives Of Windsor

William Shakespeare

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About This Book

Sir John Falstaff has very little money upon his arrival in Windsor, and sets out to court two wealthy wives in the hopes of fattening his coin purse. The two clever wives—Mistress Page and Mistress Ford—discover Falstaff's plot, but instead of rejecting him, set out to have some fun at his expense.

Known as "The Bard of Avon, " William Shakespeare is arguably the greatest English-language writer known. Enormously popular during his life, Shakespeare's works continue to resonate more than three centuries after his death, as has his influence on theatre and literature. Shakespeare's innovative use of character, language, and experimentation with romance as tragedy served as a foundation for later playwrights and dramatists, and some of his most famous lines of dialogue have become part of everyday speech.

HarperPerennial Classics brings great works of literature to life in digital format, upholding the highest standards in ebook production and celebrating reading in all its forms. Look for more titles in the HarperPerennial Classics collection to build your digital library.

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Information

Year
2014
ISBN
9781443443517

ACT THREE

SCENE I. A field near Frogmore.
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE.
[4]
EVANS I pray you now, good Master Slender’s serving-man, and friend Simple by your name, which way have you look’d for Master Caius, that calls himself Doctor of Physic?
SIMPLE Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward; every way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way.
[8]
EVANS I most fehemently desire you you will also look that way.
SIMPLE I will, sir.
[Exit.
EVANS Pless my soul, how full of chollors I am, and trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceived me. How melancholies I am! I will knog his urinals about his knave’s costard when I have goot opportunities for the ork. Pless my soul! [Sings.
[15]
To shallow rivers, to whose falls
Melodious birds sings madrigals;
There will we make our peds of roses,
And a thousand fragrant posies.
To shallow –
Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry.
[Sings.
Melodious birds sing madrigals –
Whenas I sat in Pabylon –
And a thousand vagram posies.
To shallow, etc.
Re-enter SIMPLE.
[25]
SIMPLE Yonder he is, coming this way, Sir Hugh.
EVANS He’s welcome.
[Sings.
To shallow rivers, to whose falls -
Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?
SIMPLE No weapons, sir. There comes my master,
Master Shallow, and another gentleman, from
[31]
Frogmore, over the stile, this way.
EVANS Pray you give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms. [Takes out a book.
Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.
[36]
SHALLOW How now, Master Parson! Good morrow, good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is wonderful.
SLENDER [Aside] Ah, sweet Anne Page!
PAGE Save you, good Sir Hugh!
[39]
EVANS Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!
SHALLOW What, the sword and the word!
[41]
Do you study them both, Master Parson?
[43]
PAGE And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day!
EVANS There is reasons and causes for it.
[46]
PAGE We are come to you to do a good office, Master Parson.
EVANS Fery well; what is it?
[50]
PAGE Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience that ever you saw.
SHALLOW I have lived fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect.
[54]
EVANS What is he?
PAGE I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the renowned French physician.
EVANS Got’s will and his passion of my heart! I had as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.
[59]
PAGE Why?
EVANS He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen, and he is a knave besides – a cowardly knave as you would desires to be acquainted withal.
[62]
PAGE I warrant you, he’s the man should fight with him.
[65]
SLENDER [Aside] O sweet Anne Page!
SHALLOW It appears so, by his weapons.
Keep them asunder; here comes Doctor Caius.
Enter HOST, CAIUS, and RUGBY.
PAGE Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.
[69]
SHALLOW So do you, good Master Doctor.
[71]
HOST Disarm them, and let them question; let them keep their limbs whole and hack our English.
CAIUS I pray you, let-a me speak a word with your ear. Verefore vill you not meet-a me?
[75]
EVANS [Aside to Caius] Pray you use your patience; in good time.
CAIUS By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.
[82]
EVANS [Aside to Caius] Pray you, let us not be laughing-stocks to other men’s humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends. [Aloud] I will knog your urinals about your knave’s cogscomb for missing your meetings and appointments.
[85]
CAIUS Diable! Jack Rugby – mine Host de Jarteer – have I not stay for him to kill him? Have I not, at de place I did appoint?
EVANS As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the place appointed. I’ll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.
HOST Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and
[90]
Welsh, soul-curer and body-curer.
CAIUS Ay, dat is very good! excellent!
HOST Peace, I say. Hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? No; he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? No; he gives me the proverbs and the noverbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so. Give me thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have deceiv’d you both; I have directed you to wrong places; your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn.
[102]
Follow me, lads of peace; follow, follow, follow.
SHALLOW Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow.
[105]
SLENDER [Aside] O sweet Anne Page!
[Exeunt all but Caius and Evans.
CAIUS Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha?
EVANS This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog. I desire you that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of the Garter.
[113]
CAIUS By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me where is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too.
EVANS Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you follow.
[Exeunt.
SCENE II. The street in Windsor.
Enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN.
MRS. PAGE Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master’s heels?
[5]
ROBIN I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man than follow him like a dwarf.
MRS. PAGE O, you are a flattering boy; now I see you’ll be a courtier.
Enter FORD.
FORD Well met, Mistress Page. Whither go you?
[9]
MRS. PAGE Truly, sir, to see your wife. Is she at home?
FORD Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. I think, if your husbands
[12]
were dead, you two would marry.
MRS. PAGE Be sure of that – two other husbands.
FORD Where had you this pretty weather-cock?
MRS. PAGE I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of. What do you call your knight’s name, sirrah?
ROBIN Sir John Falstaff.
[19]
FORD Sir John Falstaff!
MRS. PAGE He, he; I can never hit on’s name. There is such a league between my good man and he! Is your wife at home indeed?
[23]
FORD Indeed she is.
MRS. PAGE By your leave, sir. I am sick till I see her. [Exeunt Mrs. Page and Robin.
[41]
FORD Has Page any brains? Hath he any eyes? Hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty mile as easy as a cannon will shoot pointblank twelve score. He pieces out his wife’s inclination; he gives her folly motion and advantage; and now she’s going to my wife, and Falstaff’s boy with her. A man may hear this show’r sing in the wind. And Falstaff’s boy with her! Good plots! They are laid; and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seeming Mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Actaeon; and to these violent proceedings all my ...

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