Chapter 1
The best way you can create healthy boundaries around work is to get clear about what your work actually is. For me, usually if it feels hard I think itās work, and if it feels easy I assume it is not work. And this is not only untrue, but is also part of why I am showing up to write these pages. Your work is not the same thing as your job, but sometimes it can be. Often, I get paid for jobs that feel easy and donāt feel like work, then I do a bunch of them and implode, burning out because I accidentally forgot I was working. I forgot to take a walk. I forgot to take a break. I forgot that I donāt have to share with the world every tiny thing that I do.
For some of us, that is our workāsharing every tiny thing that we do. Every tiny beach trip, every tiny victory, every tiny moment. So it would seem that if our eyes are open, we are most likely working . . . and most likely forgetting to breathe, forgetting to drink water, forgetting to forgive ourselves for forgetting.
Work is not bad. Always working is not a bad thing, if thatās your intention.
I have this voice in my head who loves to tell me Iām not doing a good enough job, or that working all the time is a terrible idea. I named the voice Roger. This helped me identify this voice and separate it out, so I could sort of address it, like, āHey, Roger, thanks so much for stopping by today and giving your input, but I am actually all set.ā
I also just love working! It not only lets me shut down Roger, but it makes me feel great. I love to get things done, and I love to work, and I love to work next to other people who are working, and I love when my friends are deeply dedicated to their art making practices and small businesses.
And when you love something, it can be extremely hard to tell if youāre working. For example, gardening is absolutely not working to me. But if I share it on the internet, I am getting into some tricky territory. (Oh, look, a tiny moment where I am gardening, or I picked some kaleāmost likely kale that I didnāt plant, but I picked it and I showed everyoneāso now is it part of my work?)
If you are a professional gardener and you are so into gardening and you are growing vegetables and selling them at the farmersā market, then gardening very well might be on your work list. Maybe you make zero dollars gardening but it feels like work to you. (Wait, actually, if I really did garden it would feel like work, so thatās probably why I donāt do it.)
See what I mean? Do you see what Iām getting at? There is no real answer, itās all work. Itās also all not work. Work is subjective. I do, however, know that when the things on my work list became the only things I was doing, it hurt my spirit, my partnership, my friendships, and my business. Always working proved to be completely unsustainable for my mental health and also for those around me. So I set out on this mission to correct this and am happy to report that by bringing in just the awareness, just a willingness to be aware, much growth has happened. You honestly donāt even have to practice awareness, you just have to simply be willing to be aware. Through this, my relationship with working has begun its healing process.
In order to cultivate some sort of definition of working vs. not working, you have to start somewhere. So start with a list. Your list.
CHAPTER 1 EXERCISES
THIS IS MY WORK
Use the space below to identify the tasks you perform that are work. Before you start:
Take a deep breath and know that this list is ever changing.
Make yourself some herbal tea or coffee, something that makes you feel good and relaxed.
Now write your list.
HERE IS WHAT WORKING IS TO ME
- Answering emails
- Balancing the books
- Unlocking the front door to the shop
- Ringing someone up at the cash register
- Managing my online shop (inventory, etc.)
- Blogging
- Uploading a new podcast episode
- Organizing classes and workshops and adding them to the website and Facebook
- Basically anything that involves a computer
- Posting to Instagram about a new product or service
- Sending out a newsletter
- Sweeping and mopping my workspace
- Business development/reevaluation
HOW TO LOVE ADMIN/BUSYWORK/PAPERWORKāTHE STUFF THAT IS NOT CREATIVE OR FUNāAND GET IT DONE
I have learned a lot from increasing my ability to withstand cardio. At first I dreaded the work. It felt stressful throughout each workout, and yet the endorphins and energy post-workout left a hint of something good and the motivation to come back and try again. Eventually the feeling of dread before I started subsided. I learned how to prepare for each workout (hydrate, eat protein an hour before, eat quickly after, do a recovery workout the next day, etc.), and the reward of strength, a faster recovery, and the joy of the process took over. I learned techniques for preparing, got good at the tasks, and enjoyed the feeling of accomplishment.
This is the same process for admin/busywork/paperwork. I donāt love updating my books and accounting, but I built the skills and systems so it doesnāt feel like a struggle anymore. I follow a routine to enjoy it (see: chocolate, music, podcasts, etc.), and the feeling of accomplishment keeps me coming back without dread. I want to like my work, so I master it. It can be a relief to listen to music, sip on a chai latte, and just plug away at my accounting. When I feel distracted, I think of the results over the process and try to get back to it.
I also limit the time I spend on administrative work. It shouldnāt take all day. Whatās more frustrating than spending the whole day dreading and avoiding, when the task takes only ten minutes? There are a billion other things I would rather do than avoid the work.
Last, but certainly not least, I remind myself that I am always in progress and, thus, so is my work. I fine-tune my tools every day and know that some days I will be stronger than others.
āSARAH SCHULWEIS, BUSINESS CONSULTANT
For me, I have more or less made the decision to define work as my job. However, my job description includes tasks that are not on my work l...
