Lincoln at Home

Two Glimpses of Abraham Lincoln's Family Life

David Herbert Donald

• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Year: 2001
• Print ISBN: 9780743211420
• eBook ISBN: 9780743213431
• Topic: History
• Subtopic: Historical Biographies
• Index: History

As Lincoln led the nation into the Civil War, managing the Union was effort, issuing the Emancipation Proclamation, winning reelection in 1864, and planning the Reconstruction of the South, he also led a private life, defined by his close relationship with his wife and by his devotion to his children. Lincoln at Home offers a view into the life of family through their written correspondence.
With a brief account of their first years in the White House and the complete collection of all the known letters exchanged by Abraham and Mary Todd Lincoln, this elegant portrait defines the sixteenth president as a dedicated -- though often a desperately busy and distracted -- family man.
Lincoln at Home is an intimate and rare glimpse of the president as husband and father, a cheerful man pinned to the floor while playing with his children, and a desolate man struck down with grief at the death of his son. Beyond this, we are shown a personal side of the man who managed one of the most difficult periods in American history.

FAMILY LETTERS

The Letters of Abraham Lincoln,Mary Todd Lincoln,and Robert Todd Lincoln 1848–1865

ABRAHAM AND MARY LINCOLN did not exchange a great many letters because for most of their married life they lived under the same roof, and not all of the letters they did write have been preserved. But the letters that have survived offer an intimate view of the Lincoln family. These are not letters of passionate young people in love, for by 1848, the date of the first surviving letter, the Lincolns had been married for six years and already had two children, but they show an affectionate couple who were often lonely and unhappy when they were obliged to be apart. In their letters Lincoln and his wife exchanged news and gossip—including political news, in which ladies of the period were not supposed to take an interest, though Mary was always actively involved in her husband’s career. They discussed financial matters, because Lincoln had a horror of debt and wanted to make sure his wife had enough money. Frequently they inquired about each other’s health. Both could be mildly flirtatious. Mostly, though, their letters show a warm concern for the well-being of their children.

The oldest of these was Robert Todd Lincoln, born in 1843, mentioned in these family letters as “Bob,” or “Bobby.” A second son, Edward Baker Lincoln (“Eddy”), was born in 1846. A sickly child, he lived only four years. William Wallace Lincoln (“Willie”) was born in 1850 and died in the White House in 1862. The youngest Lincoln, Thomas, was born in 1853 with such a large head and small body that his father said he looked like a tadpole, and he was nearly always called “Tad” or “Taddie.” No letters from the three youngest Lincolns to their parents survive, and in the period before 1865 there are only a few from Robert, who left home to study at Phillips Exeter Academy in 1859 and the next year entered Harvard College, from which he graduated in 1864.

The earliest Lincoln family letters date from Lincoln’s term in the House of Representatives. Mary Lincoln, together with Bob and Eddy, accompanied her husband to Washington in December 1847, where the family lived in the boardinghouse of Mrs. Ann G. Sprigg, near the Capitol, but in the spring she took the boys to stay with her father, Robert S. Todd, in Lexington, Kentucky. She never got along with her stepmother, and her letters suggest fairly tense relations in the Todd household. Lincoln’s letters to her make it clear that he greatly missed his family.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN TO MARY TODD LINCOLN

Washington, April 16— 1848—

Dear Mary:

In this troublesome world, we are never quite satisfied.When you were here, I thought you hindered me some inattending to business; but now, having nothing butbusiness—no variety—it has grown exceedingly tastelessto me. I hate to sit down and direct documents,¹and I hateto stay in this old room by myself. You know I told you inlast sunday’s letter, I was going to make a little speechduring the week; but the week has passed away withoutmy getting a chance to do so; and now my interest in thesubject has passed away too. Your second and thirdletters have been received since I wrote before. DearEddy thinks father is “gone tapila[.]”²Has anyfurther discovery been made as to the breaking into yourgrand-mother’s house? If I were she, I would not remainthere alone. You mention that your uncle John Parker islikely to be at Lexington. Dont forget to present him myvery kindest regards.

I went yesterday to hunt the little plaid stockings, as youwished; but found that McKnight has quit business, andAllen had not a single pair of the description you give, andonly one plaid pair of any sort that I thought would fit“Eddy’s dear little feet.” I have a notion to make anothertrial tomorrow morning. If I could get them, I have anexcellent chance of sending them. Mr. Warrick Tunstall,of St. Louis is here. He is to leave early this week, and to...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Colophon
• Also By
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Dedication
• Contents
• INTRODUCTION
• THIS DAMNED OLD HOUSE
• FAMILY LETTERS
• ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
• ABOUT THE AUTHOR