Now That's Funny
eBook - ePub

Now That's Funny

Humorous Illustrations to Soup Up Your Talks, Sermons, or Speeches

  1. 158 pages
  2. English
  3. ePUB (mobile friendly)
  4. Available on iOS & Android
eBook - ePub

Now That's Funny

Humorous Illustrations to Soup Up Your Talks, Sermons, or Speeches

About this book

Do you desire something to perk up the attention of the listeners? Do they look and act completely bored? Or have gone to sleep?Wake them up with some humor!!!!

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APPENDIX

Additional Selections
1.
Stress Dieting
A Diet Designed To Cope With Stress
Feeling Good? No problem!
Breakfast
1 Grapefruit
1 Slice whole wheat toast
8 Ounces Skim Milk
Lunch
4 Ounces Leaned Broiled Chicken Breast
1 Cup Steamed Spinach
1 Cup Herbal Tea
1 Oreo Cookie
Stress Attack? —- You Need Help!
Midafternoon Snack
Rest of Oreos in Package
2 Pints of Rocky Road Ice Cream
1 Jar Hot Fudge Sauce, Nuts, Cherries, Whipped Cream
Dinner
2 Loaves Garlic Bread With Cheese
1 Large Sausage/Mushroom/Pepperoni/ Cheese Pizza
1 Milky Way or Snickers Candy Bar
Stress Signals Again?
Late Night News -
1 Whole Frozen Cheesecake Eaten Directly from Box
Stress Gone?—-A Successful Day! Sleep Well!
2.
Calorie Counting for Stress Dieting
1. If you eat something without anyone seeing you eat it, it has no calories.
2. When you eat with someone else, if you eat less than they do, calories don’t count.
3. If you drink a diet soda with a dessert, the calories in the dessert are canceled out by the diet soda.
4. Calories in Video related foods — such as Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots and Tootsie Rolls -are part of the entire Entertainment Package and not part of one’s personal diet so they are never counted.
5. The process of breakage causes calorie leakage. Therefore, cookie pieces contain no calories!
6. Additionally, and this...

Table of contents

  1. Title Page
  2. INTRODUCTION
  3. ACCIDENTS
  4. AIR FORCE
  5. AIRPLANES
  6. ANIMALS
  7. ARMY
  8. BUSINESS
  9. CARPENTERS (Building)
  10. CHANGING TIMES
  11. CHURCH
  12. CRIME
  13. DEATH (FUNERALS)
  14. DOCTORS
  15. DRINKING ALCOHOL
  16. DUMB BLONDES
  17. EATING
  18. FARMERS
  19. FATHERS
  20. FIRE
  21. FISHING
  22. FIXING THINGS
  23. FORGETFULNESS
  24. FRIENDS AND ENEMIES
  25. GOOD ADVICE
  26. HUNTING
  27. IRRITATION
  28. JOKES—TELLING THEM
  29. LAWYERS
  30. LOVE AND COURTSHIP
  31. MARRIAGE
  32. MUSIC
  33. NAMES
  34. NAVY
  35. OLD AGE
  36. OVERWEIGHT
  37. PREACHERS
  38. SALESMEN
  39. SCHOOL
  40. SPORTS
  41. TEXANS
  42. TEXAS AGGIES
  43. THRIFTINESS
  44. TRAVEL
  45. WORK
  46. APPENDIX