Lysistrata

The Sex Strike

Aristophanes, Germaine Greer, Phil Wilmott

• Publisher: Aurora Metro Books
• ISBN:
  9781910798089
• Topic: Letteratura
• Subtopic: Teatro antico e classico

A new version of the Greek classic play adapted by world-famous feminist author, Germaine Greer. The ancient world is gripped by a long and futile war. While the men of Athens fight in a foreign land, the women of Athens can take no more. Lysistrata, the play's heroine, persuades the women to barricade themselves inside a building and refuse to give their husbands sex until they negotiate an end to the Peloponnesian War and secure peace. She also persuades the women of Sparta, the enemy, to join her cause and refuse sex to their husbands until they too agree to stop the war. The men eventually give in, peace is agreed and the women go home to their husbands.

ACT ONE

As the audience enter, 1950’s dance music can be heard but thinly, as if played on a tinny old record player. Against this there are occasional loud explosions and bursts of machine-gun fire.

The dimly-lit steam room is strewn with male debris; there are piles of abandoned towels lying around, empty bottles of scotch and discarded copies of the Times-like newspaper, ‘The Hoi Polloi’, mocked up in a cartoon style so that every headline mentions the word ‘war’. e.g. ‘WAR CONTINUES’, ‘MORE WAR’, ‘WAR INTERRUPTS SPORT’, ‘WAR FASHION EXTRA’ etc.

In the middle of all this sits a particularly fat and greasy senator being massaged. As the play starts the senator and masseur leave.

Music. (The introduction to Julie London’s recording of ‘Our Time Will Come’ cross fades with the pre-set sound). On the lyric ‘Our time will come’ Stratyllis, Rhoddipe and Nikodike enter through the centre door and stand for a moment looking at the mess. They are the bathhouse cleaners.

Stratyllis is their natural leader, mouthy, inquisitive and hungry for a better life. Rhodippe is softer and more trusting, Nikodike is sharp and cynical. Their tough life has made them world-weary and cynical but they are capable of great warmth and high spirits.

They begin to clean up the mess and scrub the place clean. After a few moments Lysistrata enters. She is expecting other society women to be there. It is important that she takes no notice of the cleaning women. It is as though they are invisible. When she removes her cloak she simply holds it out expecting someone to take it from her – and they do.

She is strikingly beautiful and very self-possessed in a plucky ‘head gal’ kind of way. The cleaning women carry on cleaning around Lysistrata as the music fades under her speech.

Lysistrata

Nobody here. Nearly dawn and there’s nobody here. If I’d asked them to a wine-tasting or a gambling party, or a fashion show they’d have been here hours ago. But to a secret political meeting, a small matter of life and death and the future of civilisation – Oh, that’s not a pressing matter. They just might drift by eventually, if nothing more urgent or interesting comes up.

Her neighbour Kalonike, a bustling big woman with an infectious dirty laugh calls to her from the back of the auditorium and makes her way to the stage.

Kalonike

Who-ooh! Hello darling!

Lysistrata

Oh Kalonike, bless you! (They kiss)

Kalonike

Sorry I’m late, darling. I couldn’t decide which earrings to wear. Well, isn’t this exciting. Come now… clear that brow, before those creases get permanent. (She looks around) So this is what it’s like in here. I’ve always wondered.

She picks up a discarded male jock-strap and laughs lustfully. One of the cleaning women relieves her of it and her cloak – again barely acknowledged.

Lysistrata

This is it. The bathhouse. This is where our menfolk come to escape from women and take decisions on our behalf. The perfect place, wouldn’t you say, for the first meeting of ‘Women for Peace’? But where is everyone…? We’re always being told that we’ve got no brains, that we’re irresponsible and flighty. I do women the courtesy of treating them like adults and they can’t even be bothered to make an appearance.

Kalonike isn’t really listening, she’s having a good nose around. She looks into one of the pools.

Kalonike

Ohh look darling they’ve got goldfish in here (to the fish) Hello, hello!

Lysistrata

I begin to think my father was right about women after all.

Kalonike

Well how many women are there who give a damn about foreign affairs?

Lysistrata

This isn’t a foreign affair. It’s a war that’s ruining our lives right here and now! What could be closer to home? I bet they’re still lounging in bed.

Kalonike

Darling, it is the middle of the night. You might be able to come and go as you please but other women have responsibilities.

Lysistrata

What are servants for if women can’t take their minds off running the house for five minutes? This meeting is important.

Kalonike

A smoothly-run household is important too. And you keep making such a mystery about your important business that they have no chance to judge for themselves. Can anything be so important?

Lysistrata

Indeed it is. Something I’ve been sweating over during many a long sleepless night.

Kalonike (lustfully)

Send him round to me, love. I know I could do with a good sweat. (She laughs dirtily.)

Lysistrata

Could you just stop thinking about sex for a moment? There’s a lot at stake here. We must be strong – this is our destiny.

Kalonike

You’ve had a vision! How exciting. I had one recently, did I tell you? I dreamt I was pinned to this rock by this great brute of a swan and he kept arching his long muscular neck and all my clothes fell off. What could it mean?.. Then there’s another one in which I’m chased up a greasy column by a boa constrictor –

Lysistrata

Kalonike! Please concentrate. All the hopes of Greece are pinned on us women. If only the Peloponnesians would stop being so…

Kalonike

I just wish they’d all stop being.

Lysistrata

Why, for goodness sake? What have they ever done to you?

Kalonike

Darling, we are at war with the Peleponnesians.

Lysistrata

I’m not. Who’s we? I suppose you’d like the Boetians wiped out too?

Kalonike

Well…

Lysistrata

We can’t go on like this. If the women would only come, the Boetians, the Peloponnesians, the women of all the states, we could save the whole federation between us.

Kalonike

But what can we do? All we’ve ever learnt to do is sit around looking ornamental.

Lysistrata

That’s our strategy. Our instruments will be transparent dresses and dainty little shoes, rouge and musk.

Kalonike

How are we going to use them?

Lysistrata

In such a way that men shall never in our time lift their weapons against each other.

Kalonike

Well if it means a few more fellas lift their weapons in my direction – I’ll paint my nipples gold. (Dirty laugh. Lysistrata glares at her and the laugh withers) Oh, isn’t that…? Oh look Lysistrata. Yoo hoo! Girls!

Myrrhine and Kalike enter through the audience. They are both young, glamorous and beautiful. Myrrhine is dizzy with the excitement of it all. Kalike is rather more nervy. As they approach the stage Lysistrata calls:

Lysistrata

Jolly good show. Where are you two from?

Myrrhine

We’re the Anagyrus girls.

Lysistrata

Ah, yes, Suburban Women’s Association of Mothers for Peace, isn’t it?

Myrrhine

That’s right. SWAMP for short.

Kalike (looking about her)

Are we too late? Is it all over? (The cleaning women take their cloaks.)

Lysistrata

I’m ...