So, what exactly is influence?
Some people influence with the words they use, the ideas they share, the stories they tell and the inspiring actions they take. Others have influence because of the positions they hold, the wealth they have or the company they keep.
There simply is no right or wrong way to influence. Everything is a factor. We are all influenced by people, places, events and situations . . . all of the time!
In a nutshell, influence is about affecting an outcome. It is about motivating a behavioural change or an action. It is about you, and understanding the impact you have on other people and their perceptions of you. It's about progressing things without forcing them or being pushy.
For me, when I imagine someone who is highly influential, a ton of words spring to mind to potentially describe them . . .
- Reputation
- Charismatic
- Authentic
- Integrity
- Persuasive
- Enthusiastic
- Knowledgeable
- Communicator
- Respectful
- Authoritative
- Leader
- Humble
- Confident
- Generous
- Passionate
- Connected
- Powerful
Throughout this book these words are going to feature strongly, and there is a summary/exercise chapter at the back designed to help you really reflect on what these words mean to you and, more importantly, how they apply to you.
If you just read this book then I am sure you will find some useful ideas which can help you push forwards. But if you really reflect, and relate the content to yourself, I believe you will get much more, and your strategy will become clear.
Imagine a business leader, celebrity or politician, for example. They probably get inundated with requests for media interviews, they are wealthy, maybe they have a best-selling book and speak/perform on stages across the world to huge audiences.
But is influence really restricted to celebrity? I don't believe you have to be a person of influence to be influential. We all influence behaviours every day, mainly without even knowing it. People change my perspective, my behaviours and my decisions all the time without the faintest idea of the impact they have had on me.
âParents are our children's first heroes! Your influence matters! Wield it wisely with passion and purpose!â
Anonymous
Think about the most influential people in your life. Mum and Dad will be right up there for most people, but it is unlikely that they are captains of industry. Yet their social conditioning from day one has helped you form your values and your moral compass â maybe even your political or religious leanings.
Teachers can have the same profound effect. Most of us, I am sure, can name at least one teacher who really got through to us. Mine was Mr Nesbitt, my English teacher, who understood my disruptive nature and challenged and dared me instead of being authoritarian. He turned learning into a game, which appealed to my competitive nature. As a result he got the best of me compared to every other subject. I doubt Mr Nesbitt remembers who I am, but I shall never forget him. (In the unlikely event you are reading this Sir, thank you, I doff my cap . . . and who knew I would end up writing a book. ;-)
The influence of a good teacher, mentor or boss can never be erased. What mark do you leave on those who look up to you?
Sometimes we are influenced to revolt against the examples we are set. We adopt contrary behaviours based on consequences or our own disapproval of the authority figures in our lives.
Some of the people who have influenced us over the years did so intentionally, but I am sure many will have had no idea of the impact they had or the value they added.
âYou don't have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they have taught me.â
Scott Adams
Many of the things that influence us day to day go completely unnoticed on a conscious level, yet can change our attitudes and behaviour patterns. For example, witnessing and being moved by a simple act of kindness is far more likely to make us more generous in the hours that follow. Or getting caught up in an angry exchange might make us more irritable for the rest of the day.
Human beings are like sponges, emotionally we are affected by the world around us every day. We subconsciously pick up on other people's micro expressions, on advertising messages, and on moods and atmospheres in the world around us. These in turn can have a knock-on effect on others. Which means we are potentially being influenced by people we haven't even met.
Your job requires you to influence people pretty much all of the time. It may be persuading people to advocate for you, creating new relationships, encouraging support or inspiring ideas. Whatever form it takes, the better you are at influencing, the better the results you will achieve.
Our physical state can influence others and even affect our attractiveness. Therefore, by simply managing our physical state we can become more influential.
For example, have you ever been in a crowded room and watched the domino effect as one person yawns and many others follow suit? Or seen someone laughing hysterically and, without knowing why, found yourself laughing along too?
Many studies have concluded that this is because we are empathetic creatures, some of you will have just yawned even imagining a room full of people yawning. I have influenced you right here, right now. ;-) We will cover this in more detail later in the book.
Here's something to think about . . . Every great person, throughout history, has in turn been influenced by others. Influencers are influenced, great leaders have been led and are willing to follow.
For example, Woody Allen was influenced by Hemmingway, Muhammad Ali by Martin Luther King, Tim Burton by Bram Stoker, Jane...