Body Language For Dummies

Elizabeth Kuhnke

• Publisher: For Dummies
• Year: 2015
• ISBN:
  9781119076445
• Edition: 3
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: Applied Psychology
• Index: Psychology

The complete guide to mastering the art of effective body language

Body Language For Dummies is your ideal guide to understanding other people, and helping them understand you. Body language is a critical component of good communication, and often conveys a bigger message than the words you say. This book teaches you how to interpret what people really mean by observing their posture, gestures, eye movements, and more, and holds up a mirror to give you a clear idea of how you're being interpreted yourself. This updated third edition includes new coverage of virtual meetings, multicultural outsourcing environments, devices, and boardroom behaviours for women, as well as insight into Harvard professor Amy Cuddy's research into how body language affects testosterone and cortisol, as published in the Harvard Business Review..

Body language is a fascinating topic that reveals how the human mind works. Image and presentation are crucial to successful communication, both in business and in your personal life. This book is your guide to decoding body language, and adjusting your own habits to improve your interactions with others.

• Become a better communicator without saying a word
• Make a better first (and second, and third...) impression
• Learn what other people's signals really mean
• Transform your personal and professional relationships

Realising what kind of impression you give is a valuable thing, and learning how to make a more positive impact is an incredibly useful skill. Whether you want to improve your prospects in job seeking, dating, or climbing the corporate ladder, Body Language For Dummies helps you translate the unspoken and get your message across.

Part I

Getting Started with Body Language

For Dummies can help you get started with lots of subjects. Visit www.dummies.com to learn more and do more with For Dummies.

In this part …

Find out more about the origins of body language and how it’s evolved.

Discover how body language reveals people’s attitudes, beliefs and emotions.

Chapter 1

Defining Body Language

In This Chapter

Finding out how body language speaks

Gesturing for a purpose

Understanding what you’re communicating

In the big scheme of things, the scientific study of body language is a fairly recent phenomenon, with documented research covering only the last 80 years or so. In order to better understand the thoughts and emotions behind human behaviour, psychologists, zoologists and social anthropologists have conducted detailed investigations into the use and components of body language – part of the larger family known as non-verbal behaviour.

When you take the time to focus on your own and others’ physical movements and expressions, you can spot and interpret unspoken thoughts, feelings and intentions that reveal more about a person than that individual may want you to know. You can even identify some people by a particular gesture or expression such as pursed lips, swaying hips, fiddling fingers or an arched brow.

By observing people’s body language you can detect their inner state. Are they despondent, in turmoil or feeling cool, calm and collected? Through a twitch of the mouth, flare of a nostril or change of posture, people unconsciously reveal their thoughts, intentions and feelings. In this chapter, you begin discovering how to interpret non-verbal language and you explore the gestures and actions that reveal attitudes, thoughts and intentions. You also have a quick dip into some of the research into this silent language and glance at the similarities and differences within non-verbal behaviour across the globe. In addition, you find out how you can use gestures to enhance your relationships and improve your communications.

Discovering How Body Language Conveys Messages

When cave-dwellers discovered how to decipher grunts and to create words to convey their messages, their lives became a lot more complex. Before verbal communication, they relied on their bodies to communicate. Their simple brains informed their faces, torsos and limbs. They instinctively knew that fear, surprise, love, hunger and annoyance were different attitudes requiring different movements and facial expressions. Emotions were less complex then, and so were gestures.

Speech is a relatively new introduction to the communication process and is used to persuade and influence others and to convey information, including facts and data. Body language, on the other hand, has been around forever. Without relying on the spoken word for confirmation, the body’s movements also persuade and influence others by conveying feelings, thoughts and intentions. Like it or not, your body speaks through signs and signals.

According to research conducted by Professor Albert Mehrabian at the University of California, Los Angeles, 55 per cent of the message in face-to-face communication is relayed through body language when the message contains emotional content. You only have to experience any of the following gestures or expressions to know how true is the adage, ‘Actions speak louder than words’:

• Someone raising her fist to you
• A warm embrace
• A finger wagging in your face
• A child’s pout
• A lover’s frown
• A parent’s look of worry
• An exuberant smile
• Your hand placed over your heart

Figure 1-1 shows two different gestures – one conveying a positive message and the other a negative one.

Figure 1-1: His gesture is aggressive while hers is protective.

Creating an impression within moments

You can tell within the first seven seconds of meeting someone how she feels about herself by the expression on her face and the way she moves her body. Whether she knows it or not, she’s transmitting messages through her gestures and actions.

You walk into a room of strangers and, from their stance, movements and expressions, you receive messages about their feelings, moods, thoughts and intentions. Look at the teenage girl standing in the corner. From her slouching shoulders, her lowered head and the way her hands fidget over her stomach, you can tell that this is not a happy camper.

Another young woman in this room of strangers is standing amongst a group of contemporaries. Her eyes twinkle, she throws back her head as she laughs, her hands and arms move with ease and openness and her weight is evenly distributed between her feet, which are placed beneath her, hip width apart. This woman is projecting an image of self-confidence and joie de vivre that draws people to her.

Like it or not, how you position your head, shoulders, torso, arms, hands, legs and feet, and how your eyes, mouth, fingers and toes move, tell an observer more about your state of being than any words you can say.

Early observations about body language

Before the twentieth century, only a few forays were made into identifying and analysing movement and gesture. The first known work exclusively addressing body language is John Bulwer’s Chirologia: or the Natural Language of the Hand, published in 1644. By the nineteenth century, directors and teachers of drama and pantomime were instructing their actors and students how to convey emotion and attitude through movement and gesture.

In The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals (1872), Charles Darwin explores the connection between humans, apes and monkeys. These species use similar facial expressions, inherited from a common ancestor, to express specific emotions. Out of Darwin’s work grew an interest in ethology – the study of animal behaviour.

In the late 1960s, Desmond Morris created a sensation when his interpretations of human behaviour, based on ethological research, were published in The Naked Ape and Manwatching. Further publications and media presentations continue to reveal how much our non-verbal behaviour is based on our animal nature.

Transmitting messages unconsciously

In addition to your ability to consciously choose precise gestures and actions to convey a particular message, your body sends out signals without your awareness. Dilated or contracted pupils and the unconscious movements of your hands and feet indicate an inner emotion that you may wish to conceal. For example, if you notice that the pupils of someone’s eyes are dilated, and you know that she’s not under the influence of drugs, you’d be correct in assuming that whatever she’s looking at is giving her pleasure. If the pupils are contracted, the opposite is true.

While body language speaks volumes, be careful when ascribing feelings and attitudes based solely on non-verbal behaviour. Individual signals can be easily overlooked or misidentified if they’re taken out of their social context. Look for clusters of gestures and expressions that involve several parts of the body. Also observe breathing patterns to gauge someone’s internal state. For more about how your breathing patterns influence the way you behave, have a look at Communication Skills For Dummies by Elizabeth Kuhnke (Wiley). At times, you may want to conceal your thoughts and feelings, so you behave in a way that you believe hides your true emotions. And then, wouldn’t you know it, out pops a giveaway gesture, barely perceptible to the untrained eye, sending a signal that all’s not what it appears. Don’t kid yourself that no one notices. Just because these micro-gestures and -expressions are fleeting doesn’t mean that they don’t send powerful messages.

In the 1970s, Paul Ekman and Wallace V. Friesen developed the Facial Action Coding System (FACS) to measure, describe and interpret facial behaviours. This instrument is designed to gauge even the slightest facial muscle contractions and determine what category or categories each facial action fits into. It detects what the naked eye can’t and is used by the police, film animators and researchers of human behaviour.

According to research conducted by Professor Mehrabian, when people are discussing feelings and emotions in a face-to-face setting and an incongruity exists between the words themselves and th...