Stand Out

A Real World Guide to Get Clear, Find Purpose and Become the Boss of Busy

Alison Hill

• Publisher: Wiley
• Year: 2016
• ISBN:
  9780730330837
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Personal Development
• Subtopic: Personal Success

Tools, tips and strategies to stop the cycle of 'busy' and start getting ahead

Stand Out shows you how to stop working so much, and start achieving instead. Everyone is busy, but working harder to do more isn't getting us anywhere. We're overwhelmed, distracted and detached, and our greatest fear is that this will never change. This book is your guide to taking back your life. Through simple models, robust diagnostics and practical suggestions you'll identify where you are now and how to implement real change. Explore how to move on from Check Out ( the sense that you are just going through the motions), combat Burn Out (the feeling that you're on a treadmill that is dialled too fast for your legs, brain and talents to keep pace with) and move through Freak Out (that overriding anxiety generated by knowing where you want to go but not getting any traction). Real-life stories, anecdotes and 'life hacks' provide ideas you can implement immediately, while in-depth discussion of psychological theory explains the science behind the actions. The goal is not to find your One True Passion, but to identify what's most important right now. When you're clear on purpose and actually making progress, you hit the sweet spot of activity that allows your talents to shine.

The concept of 'being at work' has changed. We're expected to be plugged in 24/7, and continually expected to do more and more with the same 24 hours in every day. Organisations suffer, families suffer and workers suffer – so why do we perpetuate this cycle? This book shows you how to hop off the hamster wheel and thrive through relentless change by doing less – but by doing it smarter.

• Treat self-care as an imperative for success
• Connect to what's important here and now
• Stop day-dreaming and put action to purpose
• Take control of your day, your path and your life

It's not about productivity training or the latest organisational system – it's about having the tools, mindset and skills in place to make your activities work for you. Stand Out helps you find the courage and optimism to live the life you crave, let go of the 'shoulds' and shows you how to prioritise what really matters.

PART I
GET YOUR SH*T TOGETHER

Overwhelm hits us, and it hits hard. Sometimes it's the slow pressure cooker, building up over time before bursting from our mouths in a tirade just because the little red man at the crossing light seems to be taking forever to give us a turn (seriously, some days he just seems to be messing with us for sport). Other times, overwhelm happens in a defined, specific moment. The flood comes all at once and knocks the wind out of us in an instant.

In these moments of overwhelm you might find yourself whispering, ‘Oooohhh, I've just gotta get my shit together'. Occasionally that whisper comes out as a scream, with a few superlatives attached to it for greater effect.

While productivity sounds like what we've got to dial up, often the reality is that focusing purely on being more productive adds fuel to the fire of overwhelm — with a side order of guilt. The pathway out of feeling overloaded is to come back to the why and the what. Why this and what's next? This then leads into an understanding of the four states, and which one (or ones) you might be in.

CHAPTER 01
PRODUCTIVITY IS NOT THE ANSWER

Wouldn't it be lovely to say goodbye to the weight of overwhelm, the pressure of expectations and the barrage of busyness that wears you down? How good would it be to jump off the conveyor belt of chaos? But when? Seriously, who's got time for that? Do you get that nagging feeling that if you stop running — even for a second — life will swamp you in a deluge?

This sense of overwhelm comes from two places. First, we're overwhelmed because of our uncertainty about what to do next. Which decision should I make that will be ‘right', how do I find balance, should I have red quinoa or white quinoa? (Seriously, even a quick trip to the supermarket results in many mini-meltdown moments!) Second, overwhelm comes from wanting to do it all. With so many options and so many ideas that we want to dive into feet first, we're burning the midnight oil and getting swamped in our own busyness.

Consumed by the sheer amount of what needs to be done, and underneath not really sure where we sit in it all, we can feel like we're doing it all on our own. For me, this is where my inner martyr turns up, stepping in to insist, ‘I've got this', ‘No, let me', ‘I'll take it all on and just suck it up'. My inner martyr definitely works solo — if you offer her help, she'll flatly refuse; get offended even. Then she'll storm off in a huff just to prove to you that she's got this. The louder and more frequent the huffs, the more she's telling you to back away (while actually silently screaming for help).

In the moments of feeling over it and stuck in a deep rut without a single off-ramp in sight, we cling to anything that will make us feel better. Busyness leads to bargaining, self-sacrifice and hours of researching how you can have a coffee-machine intravenously attached to you just to get through the day (or maybe that's just me). This is why we whisper to ourselves, under our breath, ‘I've gotta get my shit together'. Maybe you shout it out loud. Regularly. Like hourly. Every. Day.

If you're nodding agreement, you're in the right place.

These whispers are your impetus for change. Change only occurs, though, when you are clear about what needs to change. Or as the one and only Dr Phil says, ‘You can't change what you don't acknowledge'.

LET'S CHECK THE PULSE

Things can be different for you — and making changes doesn't have to be all about giving things up, regrets and caffeine by the bucketload. But the only way things will be different is if you first recognise where you're at, right here and now. It's time to look at the hard questions and acknowledge what's really going on.

So, let's take some time to check our ‘pulse'. Not your actual pulse; I'm sure yours is fine (a little hurried maybe, but still operating). Besides, the whole this-is-a-book-and-I-can't-actually-check-your-real-pulse thing kinda gets in the way. No, let's check the pulse of busyness in your world and its impact.

Take some time with a pen and paper and go through the following questions, rating yourself on where you currently sit on the described continuums.

The GYST ‘busyness' scale¹

Where are you at? (Rate yourself from 1 to 10.)
1. How often do you take time out to hit the reset button for yourself?
‘Time out? That'll happen when I'm dead.'	‘Every day is "me" day.'
2. Do the people closest to you know what your no-go zones are?
‘I'm the master of saying yes when I don't mean it.'	‘My boundaries are like the Great Wall of China — so clear you can see them from space.'
3. If someone asks you what your strengths are, what is your response?
‘The only thing I'm good at is second-guessing myself … I think? Um … what do you think?'	‘I can rattle off what I rock at in a heartbeat.'
4. Do you know the things that really, truly matter to you?
‘I used to but they've become lost under the busyness.'	‘At any given moment I know what's important.'
5. How clear are you on exactly what your values are?
‘Family, health, happiness are my go-to boring responses.'	‘I'm razor-sharp clear on my unique values.'
6. Do the people around you know exactly what presses your buttons?
‘I'm the enigma.'	‘I'm the open book.'
7. How mapped out are the goals you want to achieve?
‘I've bought myself a planner, but it's gathering dust.'	‘They're mapped out to within an inch of their lives.'
8. How obvious is the next step you need to take?
‘All I do is react to what's right in front of me.'	‘What's next is clear to me and takes priority.'
9. When it comes to planning your week or day, do your happiness and health make it onto the to-do list?
‘They're always the bottom of ...