Identifying what you want out of your virtual workforce job will help establish a base level of satisfaction. Know that you will be working more and recognize what that is: an opportunity. It’s an opportunity to immerse yourself more fully in exciting work with fewer distractions than you might experience while working in an office. You can take great satisfaction in helping your colleagues and clients in a more timely and efficient manner and make your job something more than just a 40-hour-a-week way to keep the wolf from the door.
At the same time, recognize that this is a double-edged sword you need to wield wisely. Schedule breaks for yourself and set limits so you don’t end up burning out. Walk into this working situation with eyes wide open, being prepared to both work more and reap the benefits of doing so.
A month or so after I started working from home, I began getting calls from my mother in the middle of the day. At first I was concerned. We lived on different coasts, and a call in the middle of my workday used to mean that something momentous had happened. Someone was in a car accident, or sick, and I needed to either buy a plane ticket or call a relative in the hospital.
These turned out not to be those kind of calls. My mom missed having me nearby and thought that I would now have time to chat. I would gently let her know that I was in the middle of my workday, but it would still take 45 minutes to get off of the phone, and she would forget and call me again the next time she thought of it.
I found that the only solution was to not pick up the phone during work hours. She always left a message, and I could listen to it right away and decide if I needed to call back immediately. If not, I made a note to call her in the evening when I had time to talk. Gradually the midday phone calls stopped, and we went back to our regular routine of talking after my business day was done.
—Teresa Douglas
No one really understands what other people do for work. We have a much better idea about traditional jobs, the ones children are taught about in school: police officer, nurse, construction worker. But even with those jobs, it can be hard to picture what really happens. When do police file paperwork? How do nurses structure their days? What do construction workers actually do, when so much of their job appears to consist of standing about, waiting? It’s not a surprise, then, that it’s hard to visualize what a claims adjustor or regional sales director does day to day. Now take that confusion and multiply it by a factor of 10. Welcome to the way friends, family, and even some coworkers view the life of a remote worker, regardless of the job title.
Your home is your place of rest. It’s where you raise your family, where you do chores on weekends, where you watch TV and relax. Adding business to the mix, even if you have a designated office area to work from, complicates things. It can be hard for even the person working remotely to figure it all out, so it makes sense that others have a hard time understanding where the line between work and non-work is. Confusion and questions from friends and family are understandable. Fortunately, the trick to navigating these conversations is straightforward: Anticipate questions and comments and take preemptive action, or at least be prepared to respond to the usual queries and misconceptions.
Many people will assume that because you’re working from home, you are self-employed and therefore able to set your own hours and work as much or as little as you want. Being part of a remote workforce often means a significant amount of flexibility when it comes to your working hours, but not to the extreme that many people assume. Point out that you have a number of tasks to accomplish each day and that while some things can be moved around, most cannot unless you end up working late into the night to catch up.
Another common misconception is that when you tell an acquaintance you work from home, what that acquaintance hears is, “I’m in between jobs.” Providing a bit more detail about your routine can clarify the situation, but having to justify your employment status can slowly wear away at a person’s soul: “Trust me! I have a job! I swear it!” The sister reaction to this unemployment assumption is a kind of faux jealousy. This is where the person you’re speaking with tells you how lucky you are to have such an easy gig, working from home. Again, a brief description of all that transpires in your day-to-day activities is often enough to educate the other person, but this assumption (like the unemployment one) can make you feel as though you’re fighting an uphill battle.
It can be frustrating when friends don’t understand your work situation, but it’s not something that necessarily requires a lot of discussion. With family, however, it can become a more sensitive topic. A significant other or children living with you need to understand what working from home really means. At the same time, you need to accept that they are not likely to fully understand, so you need to be patient with them. To expect your family members to grasp right away why you can’t spend part of the day doing housework or helping with homework is just inviting trouble. There’s a flip side to this situation, of course. Working remotely may mean having the ability to arrange your schedule so you can take 30 minutes on your lunch break to vacuum. You can spend an hour in the evening finishing up work emails in order to spend an hour in the afternoon helping your son do his homework. But family should not assume this level of flexibility or conflict will likely arise.
Lay out the ground rules in advance to minimize confrontations and incorrect expectations. Set up your workplace and time so it’s clear, for example, that when the door is closed, no one enters. That until the tie comes off, you’re at work. That when the clock turns to 10:00 a.m., the workday begins. Control the expectations of those you live with, and your relationships will avoid dips into disappointment and frustration.
Ultimately, the answer is to be prepared. People who don’t work remotely will never fully understand what it’s like, and that’s OK. You’ll likely never know what it’s like to be a police officer. In being prepared, however, you’ll be better equipped to deal with the different situations you most certainly will encounter. As a bonus, after experiencing the misconceptions many friends and family members will have about working remotely, you’re likely to presume a lot less about what the construction worker’s average workday is like.
Overcoming Isolationism
Working remotely can be a lonely experience. Even if you are equipped with the secrets we are sharing, you’ll likely experience a sense of isolation that can be both overt and covert in its effect on the human psyche. You don’t feel the simple joy of stopping by a cubicle to chat with a friend or accidentally bumping into a colleague or high-level boss in an elevator. Even introverts may need interaction, however fleeting or trivial.
The volume of remote workforce decisions can overwhelm even the most diligent and organized person. It can be easy to think that no one in the company works as hard as you or that your team is the only competent one out there. You might lose sight of the big picture—or feel like you never had a grasp of the big picture in the first place. You might be surprised by sudden changes to your business unit or processes. Although not everyone who works from home experiences these extremities of emotion, those who do can feel them intensely.
So here is the secret to surviving these moments: Understand that you may occasionally be overcome by the isolation of the remote workforce life. Make your plan now to handle this psychological crisis, because we guarantee that if it does occur and you do not have a plan, you will not have the emotional gyroscope to finesse it when things start to go dark.
Build a support structure that you can lean on during tough times. The savvy remote worker ensures that structure includes people and actions both inside and outside of the company. Sometimes you need to speak to someone on the inside whose judgment you trust, either to vent or to ask for advice. Cultivate friendships now while things are going well so you know who you can talk to when times are rough. At other times, you need to remind yourself that there is a world outside of your home office. Consider joining a book club, or a professional association, or a game night at your local pub or library. Become a docent at your local museum. Volunteer on the weekends. If you have a pet or a hobby or a child, there is a good chance that there is a group out there of like-minded people who meet together socially. Try a few different things until you find your tribe and then attend regularly.
| My team enjoys frequent virtual work-alongs that help us both stay connected socially and be more productive. If we anticipate that we will be doing similar work during a given week, we schedule a group video call to chit-chat and bounce ideas off each other while we work in parallel. —Brian Sabel |
Sometimes changing where you physically work can ward off feelings of isolation. It may not be as efficient to do some of your work at a local library or coffee shop, but the act of sitting in a room with other people may help you feel more connected to the world in general. If spending two hours at a library every Tuesday morning can keep you feeling energized about your job, then it is time well spent. Take some time on the weekends to try out new places (and check the Wi-Fi).
If your life circumstances and role allow for it, you might consider taking a class in the middle of the workday. Some employees find that taking time out for a group yoga or drawing class helps them fill the need for human contact.
If you find yourself in crisis mode despite all this, don’t do anything rash. Breathe in and breathe out. Seek counsel from friends and family about the issue. Seek counsel from other remote workers. Go for a walk. Wait a preset period of time before making any career-changing decisions. You can opt out at any time, but once you do, it is very difficult to opt back in. We are not saying everyone can and will adapt to the world of working remotely. Many fine employees find that working from home is simply not a good fit. But we are saying you should not leave the remote workforce because of a predictable (and oftentimes transitory) wave of emotion.
Rely on your support network to weather the tough times. With the help of people and activities both inside and outside the company, you can experience the joys and flexibility that remote working provides for years to come.
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