Body Psychotherapy

Sanando el trauma en el eterno presente del ahora

Vassilis Christodoulou

• Editorial: Hakabooks
• Año: 2018
• ISBN del libro electrónico: 9788418575006
• Edición: 1
• Categoría: Desarrollo personal
• Categoría: Superación personal

In some cases the traumas spring up in front of us, like targets created long ago that cannot be ignored. In many cases, however, we will have to do some groundwork, we will have to clear the way, to dis-mantle obstacles blocking our path, or to build, to create supports and bridges to open up the way to the trauma and to healing. A balanced person is a healthy person and a state of dynamic equilibrium is a healthy state to be in. Whatever upsets the balance, however deep down in the darkness of the unconscious it may be, will show signs of life. The longer we turn down the invitation to confront the trauma, the more formidable the challenge of taking a fresh look at a case we thought had closed will seem. Once, our tendency to flee as quickly as we could from the pain of the trauma was the right response, and indeed may even have saved us. Now, however, we have different capabilities and more choices. We hang on like survivors of a shipwreck to the old, rickety raft battered by the stormy 'seas' of our childhood and fail to see the calm waters we are now heading towards. The tried-and-tested for-mula that once saved us is no longer essential or the right method to use when both we and the world around us have changed. When we refuse to recognise a simple feeling of malaise as a harbinger of something else, we can expect other less persistent but clearly more effective states to follow: panic attacks with sudden bolts from the blue, the depression that deprives us of the joy of living, the phobias that restrict our living space, and other physical illnesses that desperately try, before the final embrace of death, to let us know what is happening in the depths of our being… These are the things that restrict us and inspire fear in us, yet these are also the things that speak to us of new pathways and possibilities. Will we remain in the familiar 'security' that the child clings to or will we, as adults, take the frightened child by the hand and, with the therapy we offer, lead it out into the light of day?

CHAPTER 1

TO THE BODY THERAPIST

One of my patients, whom I shall call C. D., is thirty years old. He’s been coming for treatment for several months now. He first sought my help because he had been having panic attacks and experiencing severe stress and also discomfort in crowded situations, particularly with people he did not know. He is convinced that if he finds himself in such a situation, he will feel the need to get up and leave, and if that is not easy or possible, he will panic. He once told me:

If I know them and I know that they like me or at least I feel that they accept me, there’s no problem. I always liked to know that they wanted to keep company with me.

This is one of the reasons why C. D. spends quite a lot of money when he gets together with friends. He often pays their share of the bill too. Would it be cruel to tell him that he is buying their friendship? And yet the truth is that, in a way, he is paying them to accept him as a friend.

This is part of the dialogue that took place between us in our first therapy session together:

V. Ch.: You don’t know me either. Ask yourself then: how do you feel at the moment, in this particular situation?

C. D.: I’m not sure… What I can say is that I don’t feel very comfortable. I feel anxious… I think.

V. Ch.: Any idea what makes you feel anxious?

C. D.: The fact that I’m here… I suppose that must be it. I don’t know you…

V. Ch.: How does that anxiety express itself in your body?

C. D.: I’m trying very hard not to make any mistakes.

V. Ch.: What kind of mistake do you think you’re so afraid of making here?

C. D.: I don’t know. I’m always like that, I’m always trying to control everything.

V. Ch.: Do you succeed? Do you manage to control everything?

C. D.: No, I know it’s impossible but there’s nothing I can do to change the way I think. I’ve even taken antidepressants but it was just the same.

V. Ch.: Now let’s turn to your body. How do you feel in your body at this moment?

C. D.: I feel a bit better. I’ve felt different since the beginning of the session, I think, because you told me to sit down as comfortably as possible and at a distance I felt comfortable with. I had a pain in my stomach and my breathing was high in my chest. At one point I felt dizzy. Now I don’t feel dizzy.

V. Ch.: Do you often feel this dizziness?

C. D.: With my father, especially when I have to face him to sort out a disagreement. We work together in the same family business, you know. When I’m with him I literally get short of breath. For years now my pulse rate has been constantly over 110 and my blood pressure 14/9 and even higher. And now I have tachycardia… My hands are cold and sweaty.

V. Ch.: How does your body feel now that you are less anxious?

C. D.: It’s better, although I feel sad.

V. Ch.: And how does your body feel when you are sad?

C. D.: I feel a weight on my chest and I can’t breathe deeply.

V. Ch.: At this moment what would help you feel better?

(For a short while he remained silent.)

V. Ch.: Okay, could we get a bit closer? If it’s okay with you, I’d like us to get up and stand next to each other, with your back resting against mine to see how you feel.

(This young man needed both support, on the one hand, and respect for his boundaries, on the other. This is why I suggested back-to-back contact as the first form of contact. Later we would try hand and eye contact.)

V. Ch.: How do you feel now that you can rest against my back? Is it a familiar feeling? Do you feel confident enough to let yourself go?

C.D.: I feel okay.

V. Ch.: Can you let yourself go? Is what you are feeling a familiar feeling?

C. D.: I can let myself go… It’s as if I were resting against my grandpa’s back. My grandpa is a tower of strength for me. When I was small, whenever I felt down I would turn to him…

V. Ch.: Good, now keep hold of that feeling and tell me what else might help you feel better.

(I moved a short distance away from him so that there was no longer any body contact.)

V. Ch.: How do you feel now?

C. D.: You’ll think it strange but now I feel as if you don’t want me. I feel rejected. I hardly know you and our relationship is… and yet I still feel as if you don’t want me.

V. Ch.: Tell me what you feel in your body.

C. D.: I feel like crying.

(Tears began to fall; he cried quietly and the crying would continue like this for months.)

V. Ch.: Is that how you feel – sad – when you lose your support?

C. D.: Whatever I feel, it’s not easy for me. My grandpa was the only support I had. And all this seems silly to me, but it’s what I feel.

V. Ch.: Is there anything in my attitude that makes you feel the urge to apologise? Do you feel perhaps that I’m judging you?

C. D.: No…

V. Ch.: We’ll make a note of that. Do you feel “strange” here, with me, knowing that it’s not my behaviour that is making you feel like this. Do you mind if we get closer? Do you mind if we hold hands for a short while?

C. D.: No, that’s okay.

V. Ch.: Good. Now take your time and tell me: now that we have this kind of contact, how do you feel?

C. D.: Moved. I feel moved and my chest feels lighter and I can breathe more deeply. And my stomach has stopped hurting.

V. Ch.: It seems that you need this contact, it makes you feel better. Now look me in the eye, carry on holding my hands and tell me how you feel.

C. D.: I feel a lump in my throat and find it difficult to breathe. I’m afraid that you might criticise me for something…

V. Ch.: Go back to where you were, sit as far away as you need to and for as long as you like, and tell me how you feel. You can come back again when you feel that you need to.

A short while later:

C. D.: Now my shoulders feel more relaxed. As soon as I realise that you’re not putting pressure on me, I feel okay and can draw close to you again.

V. Ch.: Tell me, in what way do you feel I was putting pressure on you?

C. D.: I felt that you were expecting something of me. I always have doubts about what I should do when another person is expecting something of me.

This young man was trying to want what everybody else wants in order to be liked, despite what other people thought of him, which in many cases was that he was a selfish person bent on getting his own way. Recently, after the body work we have done together, he has been breathing better, there is a more grounded look in his eyes and his hands are not as cold and sweaty as they were before. When he has his own space and his boundaries are respected, he does not feel threatened and then he can connect with confidence. Any change in one’s mental state and emotions manifests itself in the body.

What we must do in our first therapy session with a new patient, apart from obtaining an initial idea of their history, is, in the ‘here and now’ of the session, to create the conditions in which the patient will be able to feel that their boundaries are being respected, that nobody is going to criticise them and that they will be able to get the support that they need.

The body therapist does not restrict himself to words, nor is he restricted by them. He uses words and listens carefully but does not stop there. He will garner important information by listening to what the patient says and how they say it. Yet he will obtain even more important information by observing the correspondence, or lack of it, between what the patient says and their body. Where is the patient looking when they are speaking? Do they say that they feel calm and comfortable while they are actually looking away from us and their body shows us that they are halfway out of the door? What is their breathing like? Are they breathing with their stomach or with their chest? Is the breathing deep, shallow or chaotic and irregular?

The body speaks to whoever will listen

In body psychotherapy we have learnt that the body really does speak to whoever is prepared and able to listen to it. We observe muscle tone and take note of the posture of the trunk and the spinal column, and the condition of the hands, feet, the back of the neck and the face. How does the patient respond to touching? Do they feel comfortable about getting physically close? How do they respond to exercises which are designed to help them feel possible blockages in their body?

In order to get to the emotions we have to go through the body. Somebody reeling off their emotions is like a piece of bad play-acting in which the lines are divorced from the plot. Instead of us feeling that our emotions are aroused by the plot, the actor tries to shows us what we should be feeling by telling us what he himself feels. He says things that...

Índice

• FOREWORD
• ‘So little… so much pain…’
• INTRODUCTION
• CHAPTER 1
• CHAPTER 2
• CHAPTER 3
• CHAPTER 4
• CHAPTER 5
• CHAPTER 6
• CHAPTER 7
• CHAPTER 8
• CHAPTER 9
• CHAPTER 10
• CHAPTER 11
• CHAPTER 12
• CHAPTER 13
• AN UNEXPECTED SENSATION
• ABOUT THE AUTHOR