Introverts in the Church

Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture

Adam S. McHugh

• Editorial: IVP
• Año: 2009
• ISBN:
  9780830878222
• Categoría: Théologie et religion
• Categoría: Religion

Introverts in the Church

1

The Extroverted Church

“The extrovert God of John 3:16 does not beget an introvert people.”

Richard Halverson, The Timelessness of Jesus Christ

In a 2004 psychological study, students at a Christian college were asked to rate the person of Jesus according to the profiles of temperaments in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. In most categories the students were divided, and they predictably showed a tendency to cast Jesus in their own image. But there were two categories in which students definitively came down on one side. In the thinking/feeling category, 87 percent of the students rated Jesus as a feeler; however 83 percent of the students also identified themselves as feelers. The truly revealing results, though, were found in the extrovert/introvert category. Although more than half (54 percent) of these students tested as introverts, most of the students surveyed (97 percent) said that Jesus was an extrovert.

Extroverts and introverts alike overwhelmingly considered Jesus to be an extrovert. This is surprising because the evidence of Jesus’ personality is not clear-cut. Our Bibles that print his words in red tempt us to see him as a talking head, while relegating other aspects of his ministry to incidental circumstance. Though he regularly taught throngs of people, we also see him at critical times retreating from the crowds to pray in solitude and to spend time with his closest friends. He commandeers boats in order to create distance from the urgent demands and hectic energy of the people. He seems to prefer depth of relationship and conversation with a select few. While it is impossible to know for certain, Jesus’ personality actually seems balanced between extroversion and introversion. How then does 97 percent of a focus group categorize Jesus as an extrovert? The psychology professor administering this study ventured an explanation and described its impact on introverts:

The perception of an extroverted Jesus might reflect a tendency within American culture to value extroversion over introversion. If one assumes extroversion to be better, one might conclude that Jesus, the perfect human being, would have been an extrovert. . . . Making an assumption that Jesus was extroverted based on a cultural bias might make it difficult for introverts in such a culture to accept and affirm their own behavioral preference as legitimate and valuable; not something to be overcome or even tolerated, but something to be appreciated and blessed. Such an assumption might also make it easier for extroverts to overlook the strengths of introversion and the benefits introverts bring to their interactions with others.[1]

If human perfection, epitomized in the person of Jesus, includes extroversion then a large number of the population will always and irredeemably fall short. This adds a theological component to the already-prevailing cultural prejudice that extroversion is the superior temperament. In mainstream American culture (in schools, corporations and social institutions), those who are talkative, outgoing, energetic and assertive have a decided advantage. People who enjoy reflection and solitude, and listen more than they speak, are often viewed as enigmatic, antisocial and passive. Marti Olsen Laney, who wrote The Introvert Advantage, says that “We live in a culture that caters to and extols extroverts. We definitely learn that extroversion is the way we should be.”[2] She quotes David Myers, the author of the book The Pursuit of Happiness, who asserts that there are three essential ingredients in the recipe for happiness: self-esteem, optimism and extroversion.[3] He finds that, on the whole, extroverts are happier than introverts. Because of this bias, Jonathan Rauch, writer for The Atlantic, once dramatically stated that introverts are “among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.”[4]

For decades psychologists and sociologists have cited findings that introverts comprise a quarter to a third of the general population, and they assumed that the struggles of introverts were intertwined with their minority status. Yet those findings were based on research done in 1962; more comprehensive personality surveys, done in the last ten years, have actually revealed that introverts are in the statistical majority at 50.7 percent of the population![5] And researchers point out that there are not more introverts in the population than there were in 1962, but our current data and samplings are just more thorough and accurate.

The slant toward extroversion in the larger culture has also infiltrated the church. I interviewed dozens of introverted Christians, and without exception, they expressed some degree of frustration and sense of exclusion from their churches. Many have found that their churches, in both theology and practice, are not accommodating to people of their temperament. These introverts have difficulty finding a place in their communities where they feel encouraged to be who they are and to serve in a way that is consistent with their nature.

For several years, my introverted friend Emily participated in a Christian community where extroversion was normal. Hailing from Japan, Emily was accustomed to a culture where deference to others and servanthood were considered highly desirable qualities, and she felt displaced in an American culture that valued self-promotion and aggressiveness.[6] She had positive relationships with people in the community, but she was always considered to be on the fringe because she spent a lot of time to herself. The ideal of “intimacy” in this community was people constantly together, and the implicit assumption was that the more activities and social interaction a person engaged in, the closer she was to God. Others thought Emily was antisocial and, therefore, lacking in faith. She was also resistant to sharing intimate details of her life with others, and her lack of vulnerability was construed as a heart resistant to God. Even though she had strong leadership traits, she was never asked to be a leader because she did not show the outward expressiveness that was considered a mark of faithfulness in this community. To her, the expectation to share everything with others felt intrusive, and she groaned, “Why do I have to let everyone into every corner of my life?”

Three Evangelical Theological Anchors

American partiality toward extroversion infects many Christian traditions, but certain church cultures are more difficult for introverts to navigate than others. I have found that features of evangelical church culture, even the defining attributes that comprise evangelicalism, can create environments that are intimidating and unnatural for introverts.

A disclaimer: In the pages that follow, I will admittedly be painting with broad strokes, and not every church or tradition will relate to all aspects of my critique of mainstream evangelicalism and its slant toward extroverted ways of thinking and acting. When the scales are weighted heavily on one side, as I believe evangelicalism is toward extroversion, we sometimes need to over-emphasize a point in order to restore balance. In the same way, in portraying the characteristics and gifts of introverts, and what we have to offer evangelical churches, I do not presume to capture all the complexity of each individual introvert. Lastly, as I describe the qualities of introverts, I am not thereby implying that extroverts are not capable of those things (such as thoughtfulness or depth). In fact, as I will discuss in chapter two, each person has both an introverted and an extroverted side, though most of us will land on one side of the spectrum.

However, in most evangelical circles, there are three theological anchors—an intimate relationship with God through Jesus, the authority and centrality of the Bible, and active personal evangelism—that are often expressed in strikingly extroverted ways.

A personal relationship with God. At the heart of evangelical theology is the doctrine that God is personal. God is intrapersonal, in that his very being is composed of three separate persons who live in a dynamic state of mutuality, love and togetherness. Early church theologians used the word perichoresis (Greek for “dance”) to describe the interconnectedness that characterizes the life and work of the three persons of the Trinity. God is also interpersonal, in that he relates with his creation and seeks relationship with each one of his creatures. Evangelicals place central emphasis on the second person of the Trinity, the Son of God who appeared in human form as Jesus of Nazareth. We affirm that God’s redemptive plan centers around the saving death of Jesus, and people receive the victorious power attained in his resurrection through a trusting, intimate, personal relationship with the living, ascended Christ. This Jesus is fully accessible to us and we can relate to him as a friend in open, informal and conversational interaction.

The evangelical priority on this kind of personal relationship with Jesus has direct implications for the nature of the community that forms around him. It is not surprising that evangelicals have a high value for intimate, informal relationships with one another, and we structure our churches—with small groups in our houses, fellowship hours, social events, accountability groups and prayer chains—in order to support this value. Most evangelical churches strongly encourage (and sometimes require) participation in these kinds of activities.

Unfortunately, sometimes our value for community life can become a substitute for relationship with God. Psychology professor Richard Beck says that for some churches spirituality is equated with sociability.[7] The mark of a progressing faith is familiarity with a growing number of people and participation in an increasing number of activities.

Yet for introverts who are wearied by and sometimes apprehensive of large quantities of social interaction, these evangelical emphases can feel discouraging and marginalizing. By no means are introverts against intimate relationships; indeed we are motivated by depth in our relationships. And while the emphasis on intimacy with Jesus is welcome, in community we prefer interactions with smaller numbers of people with whom we feel comfortable. So when an evangelical community explicitly or implicitly preaches broad interaction across the congregation, the introverted resistance to it can produce interior feelings of spiritual inadequacy.

Centrality of the Bible. Evangelicals are, perhaps, best known for their reverence for Scripture. The community is guided by, and shaped around, its interpretation of the Bible and its application to the governance, values and life of the community. Other church traditions also rely on ritual, symbolism, liturgy and iconography, but evangelicalism predominantly exalts the power of the Word. Evangelicalism is a self-proclaimed “word-based” community. Though throughout Scripture the “word of God” refers to different self-expressions of God, including the embodied Word in the person of Jesus, in evangelical churches the “word of God” is most used to describe the Bible.

Evangelical church services usually are organized to feature the sermon, in which the pastor routinely exposits a biblical text or texts. In some evangelical churches, the sermon may take more than half of the worship service. At the eight nondenominational, evangelical churches that I visited while writing this book, the sermon averaged forty-three minutes, and the entire worship service averaged eighty-one minutes. Sermons were intentionally delivered in a conversational and a loosely organized way, which contributed to their length. This style both emphasizes the centrality of Scripture in those communities and the regard for personal relationships that I have already mentioned. The pastors sought both to exposit Scripture and to connect on a personal level with their congregations.

This regard for the Bible and the informal preaching method of many evangelical pastors filter down into congregations and combine to create a conversational culture, in which learning about, discussing and living by the words of Scripture is very important. A love for the Word of God easily translates into a love for words about God . . . and words in general. Put more bluntly: Evangelicals talk a lot.

Former-evangelical-turned-Catholic-priest Thomas Howard explains a difference between Catholic practice and evangelical practice: “Emotionally, one would have to say that evangelicalism is a much more ‘up front’ form of piety, and very talkative.”[8] Whereas in some church traditions you enter a sanctuary in a spirit of quiet reverence, in evangelical churches you walk into what feels like a nonalcoholic cocktail party. There is a chatty, mingling informality to evangelicalism, where words flow like wine.

To participate in the evangelical church is to join the conversation. Introverts, however, spare our words in unfamiliar contexts and often prefer to observe on the fringe rather than engage in the center. Our spirituality may be grounded in Scripture, yet is quieter, slower and more contemplative. In an upfront, talkative, active evangelical culture, we can be viewed as self-absorbed or standoffish, and we can feel like outsiders even when we have faithfully attended a church for years.

Personal evangelism. Evangelicals place a high priority on personal evangelism. We take Jesus’ Great Commission—where he gave his followers the mission to announce God’s kingdom—very seriously. An important part of our personal discipleship is sharing the good news with others. Typically, the e...