Mindful NEGOtiation

Becoming More Aware in the Moment, Conquering Your Ego and Getting Everyone What They Really Want

Gaëtan Pellerin

• Editore: Morgan James Publishing
• Anno: 2021
• ISBN:
  9781631954436
• Argomento: Desarrollo personal
• Categoria: Éxito personal

"In this era of automation and AI applications, Gaëtan... brings to light how egos and emotions are the true drivers of success or failure." —François Drolet, Director, Public Affairs, Access, Health Policy & Stakeholder Engagement, Roche Diagnostics Most people spend their lives comparing themselves to others: They want to prove themselves, they want to be accepted, they are afraid of failing or being perceived as incompetent, they want to get the best for themselves (at the price of others), or they are scared of upsetting the other person. In Mindful NEGOtiation, readers follow a young woman going through negotiation failures, personal development, self-awareness, setbacks, and growth while using the C4U™ approach. Mindful NEGOtiation is a personal guidebook to help negotiators become more mindful in the moment and help them define a different path forward. "Gaëtan is masterful in introducing the powerful role that mindfulness can play in the negotiation process. His direct and engaging writing style, his real-life examples and his provocative questions will keep you engaged from start to finish." —Charles Brassard, President of Impact Coaching Inc. "A wealth of great advice on how to harness the power of mindfulness to create maximum value for everyone. Inspiring, engaging and provides useful tools that can be applied immediately. A must read for all negotiators wanting to create more valuable agreements." —Meg McKenna, Vice President, Americas, Advanced Surgery, Baxter Healthcare Corporation "The self-awareness on how to master emotions during the negotiation through mindfulness practice is a significant enhancement that I have not seen in commercial negotiations training or literature before, and it is critical to success. This book guides you from theory to practice." —Andy Molnar, Medical Devices President & CEO

PART ONE

THE FOUNDATION

MEET ALEXIS

The meeting was not going well.

“You did what?!” Jorge shouted.

“I...may have lost the Healthcare Mountain Group account,” Alexis repeated, trying (and failing) to hold eye contact with her boss.

Jorge’s fists clenched. “That’s not possible. I told you everything you needed to say to them. I told you exactly what we can and can’t give them. And I told you exactly how to beat that jerk, Lucas, they always send to negotiate with us. And now you’re telling me you’ve lost the account—your biggest account, the one I gave you to as your first assignment in the leadership development program I nominated you for?”

Alexis swallowed and gave a small nod, staring at the edge of Jorge’s desk.

Jorge threw up his hands and dropped into his chair. “Okay, start at the beginning. Tell me exactly what happened.”

“Well, I started out like you said, telling Lucas he couldn’t keep paying the discounted prices from the last contract anymore. Then I said the contract was four months late for renewal and that the one-month extensions they’d been getting since then won’t work anymore. And then I said their contract would expire at the end of this month, so unless they agree with our proposal, everything will go to list price.”

“Okay, that sounds like everything I told you to say,” said Jorge. “What happened next?”

“Lucas asked me what the list price was, which surprised me because I’m sure he knew it, and so I told him, and then I told him again that they’d been getting a huge discount for four months and that they needed to either sign the contract or pay the list price.”

“Mmhmm, and then?”

“Well...then Lucas kind of flipped out. He told me the deal was crap, that there was no way they would renew the contract at our proposed price, and that I’d better go back here and sharpen my pencil if I wanted him to renew the contract at all instead of going somewhere else! He was so angry I couldn’t think of anything to say. I couldn’t even move!”

“Oh. And so you...what? Just sat there and took that from him? Unbelievable.” Jorge threw up his hands again.

“What else could I do?” Alexis wailed. “It’s not like I’ve had any negotiation training, not like you and the others in this leadership development program! I had no idea what I was doing. I was just repeating what you told me to say!”

“And that should be enough! Everyone else I’ve mentored in this leadership development program has done just fine in situations like the one you just blew. And you have had negotiation training—we covered it during your onboarding when you joined the company. You had everything you needed, and you blew it.”

Alexis sighed and dropped her eyes to the desktop again. “Maybe I could have done better,” she ventured.

“Darn right you could have. But you might get another chance. You said Lucas sent you back here to come up with a different proposal for the contract?”

“I think so,” said Alexis. “I’m pretty sure that’s what he meant by going back and sharpening my pencil. And he didn’t say he was going to go to our competitors just yet. I think I’ve got one more chance.”

“Okay,” said Jorge. “Here’s what we’re going to do. I want you to schedule another call with that moron for the week after next. Then you’ll offer him five percent off the proposed price in return for a three-year contract rather than two. And this time, you will make that stick, do you understand?”

“But what if he—”

“Yes or no, Alexis? You’ve got to deliver if you’re going to stay in this leadership program, and that means you’ve got to learn to be aggressive. Can you do it?”

Alexis nodded miserably. “Yes, sir.”

few minutes later, Alexis left Jorge’s office and walked back across the medical sales floor, looking at her shoes.

“Mexican for lunch today?” she heard as she passed Kamal’s desk.

“Sure, whatever,” she mumbled, dropping her purse and briefcase on her desk.

“Whoa, sister, hold on a sec!” Kamal said. “That didn’t sound like my favorite cheerful Alexis. You know, the one who’s addicted to fajitas? The one who always tries to get us to do Mexican for lunch? The one who hides guacamole in her top left drawer?”

“Hush, you,” Alexis grumbled. “I should never have told you about my guac stash.” She looked up at her friend and co-worker of two and a half years. “Mexican is fine. In fact, it’s more than fine—I need it after the meeting I just had.”

“Oh, sweetie, I hear that. I think most of the office heard it. Jorge is a tough cookie, for sure.”

“That’s...one way to put it,” said Alexis. “It’s also the second time I’ve been yelled at today, and it’s not even lunchtime! And I only did what I was told to do in the first place—how is this my fault?” She sighed and put her head down on the desk.

“Negotiation isn’t easy. But it’s not as hard as all that, either” said Kamal. “What are you struggling with?”

“You mean aside from everything?” Alexis huffed. “It’s easy for you to say it’s not that hard—you’ve been here for years and have had training and actually know what you’re doing. Same with Jonathan and Ling and Leilani and Peter and everyone in our lunch group. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love that you all have sort of adopted me, but I feel so far behind where you guys are. How am I ever supposed to get there, let alone be this aggressive dynamo Jorge wants me to be? I thought I was going to get bounced out of the leadership development program just now, if not outright fired! Don’t you get it, Kamal? I have no idea what I’m doing, and Jorge’s so-called mentoring is making things worse, not better!”

Kamal gave Alexis a gentle smile. “Did that help? Or do you need the guac stash, too?”

Alexis managed a weak chuckle. “I always need the guac stash, and you know it. But seriously, I really do feel lost here. How do you and Jonathan and the rest do it? You’re like the best sales reps in the company, and I don’t ever hear about you being super aggressive when you negotiate! You never even get mad—not even when I rant at you like I just did. What’s your secret? Please tell me!”

Kamal was quiet for a moment. Then he stood up and said, “Let’s take an early lunch today.” Alexis, bewildered, followed her co-worker out of the office building and down the block to Chico’s Taqueria. Kamal said nothing as they walked, sending several text messages on his phone.

As they found a table at the restaurant, Jonathan joined them. “I got your text on my way back in from my meeting, Kamal,” he said, dropping his coat in an empty chair. “Alexis, you doing okay?”

“I’ve been better. I’m sure Kamal mentioned my epic rant in his message,” Alexis said, arching an eyebrow at Kamal.

“You? Rant? Never,” Kamal stated, winking at her. Alexis stuck her tongue out at him.

“Look, Alexis,” said Jonathan. “Kamal did tell me you had a disaster of a negotiation this morning, and that Jorge let you have it afterward. He also said you want some help with the whole negotiation thing so that you can get Jorge off your back. Does that sound about right?”

Alexis nodded, then shook her head, then nodded again. Kamal and Jonathan traded looks. “Well, that certainly clears it up,” Kamal laughed.

“No, what I mean is that yes, I want to get better at negotiating, but no, I don’t want to have to do it the way Jorge wants me to. He keeps telling me to be more aggressive and beat the other side, but when I try to do that, it blows up in my face and I just freeze. I literally couldn’t move when Lucas was yelling at me this morning and dealing with Jorge wasn’t much better.”

“Ah,” said Jonathan, leaning forward. “That’s what I was hoping to hear.”

Alexis blinked. “What? That was one of the worst mornings of my life!”

Jonathan laughed gently. “No, not that. I meant that you don’t want to do everything Jorge’s way. That’s what I was hoping you’d say. I was planning on asking you that question myself in a sec, but you beat me to it.”

“But why does that matter so much?” Alexis was getting more confused by the second.

“It matters,” said Kamal, “for the same reason it matters that we’re having this chat at Chico’s rather than at our desks.”

“Okay, now I’m really lost,” said Alexis. “So, while I sit here and drown my morning in these delicious free tortilla chips, I need you two to drop the cryptic stuff and tell me what’s going on here. Please?”

“Alright, I’m sorry,” said Jonathan. “The reason we’re talking here, and the reason I wanted to know if you were attached to Jorge’s approach, is because I know someone who could help you get better at negotiation. But there are two catches: she doesn’t work for our company, and her approach is pretty much the opposite of Jorge’s.”

“So, before Jonathan introduces her to anyone from our office,” continued Kamal, “He needs to make sure that a different approach is okay—and that the person is okay with basically going behind the company’s back.”

“I see,” said Alexis. “It’s not illegal to work with an outside coach or anything, is it?”

“No, of course not,” said Jonathan. “But I don’t imagine Jorge would like it much, do you?”

“No, he’d hate it,” agreed Alexis. “If I were to do something like this, I couldn’t tell him.”

“Well, you could...but I’d suggest not doing it right away,” said Kamal. “I’ve seen a few people like Jorge come and go from this company, and they care about results more than anything else. If you start making deals, he won’t care how you do it. It’s only when you don’t make them that he’ll give you a hard time about doing everything his way.”

“So...I’d start working with this negotiation coach on my own time, but not tell Jorge about it until I start getting better results?”

“Something like that. Use your best judgment,” said Kamal.

“Alright, let’s say I’m interested,” said Alexis. “Who is this coach, and how can I be sure she’s the best person to help me?”

“First of all, she’s my Aunt Mia,” said Jonathan, “so I’ve literally known her all my life. More importantly, she’s also been an executive coach specializing in negotiation for over a decade. She has her own company doing it, in fact. Works with C-suite execs all over the world. But she also has a thing for helping newbies learn the ropes. Someone taught her how to negotiate without being a total jerk when she was right where you are now, and she likes to pay it forward.”

A lightbulb went on in Alexis’s mind. “That’s your secret, isn’t it, Kamal? You’ve worked with her before, haven’t you?”

Kamal grinned a very wide grin. “You bet I have, sweetie. So has Jon here, obviously, and so has most of the rest of our little lunch group.”

“There’s a reason we do so well at negotiating contracts, Alexis,” said Jonathan, “and it has nothing to do with people like Jorge. Mia taught us all to negotiate from the inside out, to start with the last thing the Jorges of the world tend to think about.”

“What’s that?” asked Alexis.

“Well, Mia does a better job of explaining it than I will, but let’s just say it starts with those emotions that paralyzed you this morning and goes from there. So, what do you think? Should I set up a lunch meeting with you and Aunt Mia?”

Alexis nodded firmly. “Yes, please. I’ve got two weeks to get ready to save the HMG account, and I need all the help I can get.”

“Sounds like a plan,” said Jonathan. “I’ll set it up.”

INTRODUCTION

Negotiation is a lot like mountain climbing.

Climbing a mountain may sound easy if you’ve never done it before—you just keep going up until there’s no more up to go to, right? Even as you do some training and start to know what to expect, you still probably feel like “I’ve got this! It might be a bit of a challenge, but I know what to do, and I’ll come out on top, no problem.”

But then as you start to actually climb the mountain, you realize no amount of reading book...