The People Code

It's All About Your Innate Motive

Taylor Hartman

• Editore: Scribner
• Anno: 2007
• ISBN:
  9781416571896
• Argomento: Psychology
• Categoria: History & Theory in Psychology

Motive matters! "Give me five minutes and I can predict your life success. I can help you understand why you do what you do by identifying your Core Motive." —Dr. Taylor Hartman In his life-changing book, Dr. Taylor Hartman introduces you to the People Code and why people do what they do. The concept of Motive is a fresh method for analyzing your own innate personality as well as that of those around you. You then have the ability to utilize that knowledge to improve workplace and personal relationships. As an author, psychologist, and leadership coach, Dr. Hartman offers a remarkably astute system for segmenting everyone into specific Motive-types denoted by a color: Red (power wielders), Blue (do-gooders), White (peacekeepers), and Yellow (fun lovers). He then explains how to ensure that all possible alliances between them function at optimum effectiveness.If you struggle with self-acceptance and have questions about why you and others act the way you do, Dr. Hartman and The People Code can help you maximize your life success by improving your day-to-day relationships.

Part One

YOU

Chapter One

THE FUNDAMENTALS OF YOUR PERSONALITY

Personality is innate

and motive-based.

MOTIVE: THE DRIVING CORE OF PERSONALITY

We know we have a conscience that talks to us about what is right and what is wrong. We also have a driving core motive that speaks to us often about being true to ourselves and playing to our strengths. Just as we ignore our conscience, we are often guilty of ignoring our core motive in life. Our driving core motive knows us and wants our lives to be successful, and ultimately we must choose to listen to or ignore who we are innately and what will make us most happy in life.

The following plea is written directly to you from your driving core motive, asking you to trust that it knows who you are inside. It knows what works for you and what messes you up. It can help you be far more successful because when you act congruently with your innate self, you will find that life makes more sense for you as well as those around you.

After witnessing for the past twenty years the astounding accuracy of your driving core motive, this may be the single most significant piece of self-awareness you will ever come to understand in your lifetime. I recommend paying attention to what it has to say.

I have always been with you. From your first heartbeat I was connected to you and we will remain inseparable until you die. Being your constant companion has its definite ups and downs. Sometimes I feel dismissed by you and wonder, “HOW CAN YOU SIMPLY IGNORE ME AND PRETEND I DON’T MATTER!” It is times like those that I want to make you WAKE UP! Wake up and see your true self!

It makes absolutely no sense that people resist seeing themselves for who they really are inside. Frankly, everyone’s life would make so much more sense if they simply understood why they think and act as they do.

I am always watching you. I am so much a part of your internal fabric that you typically don’t even recognize that I am with you. We move “hand in glove” because of our connection. When most people see your behavior, they don’t know why you behave as you do. But I do! I know exactly why you think and feel like you do.

I know why President Bill Clinton couldn’t keep his pants zipped while serving in the White House, tainting an otherwise inspired presidency. I also understand why his most cynical opponents find him charmingly irresistible in person.

I know why Oprah Winfrey runs a quality media empire but can’t trust the intimacy of marriage. I understand how she can be compassionate and cruel in the same day.

I know why Brad Pitt abandoned his marriage to Jennifer Aniston for a relationship and children with Angelina Jolie. I also know how Angelina controls the momentum of their lives while he controls their emotional moods.

I know why Meryl Streep, considered by many to be the greatest actress of her day, chose family and a committed relationship as her primary focus in life. She never saw her career as separate from her life.

There is one of me for every person on the earth regardless of when or where they were born. Some people appreciate me far more than others. Some people actually remain trusting and connected throughout their entire lives while others discard me with disdain.

Your thoughts and actions make perfect sense to me—except when you act differently from whom you really are! Sometimes you act like someone you think you should be. I have to admit, when you do that it drives me crazy. You can be so frustrating when you let others convince you that who you really are inside isn’t enough—isn’t who you should be! Then you go off pretending to be someone whom others want you to be. I can’t tell you how difficult it is to sit back and watch you sort out whether you should be true to your intrinsic self or pretend to be what others tell you to be.

It’s times like these when I have to simply wait until you return to your true innate self and once again we find our natural compatibility. Then, and only then, can I sleep comfortably at night. When we are in sync I love life (as do you!) and feel completely validated. When you toss me aside and deny me access to you, I become restless and unnerved.

As your driving core motive, I am neither good nor bad—I simply am! Some use me for positive while others use me for negative. The choice is completely theirs, not mine. Before there was race, religion, gender, birth order, or cultural biases, there was me! In the womb, you and I were close. It’s a very personal story that we share—one that I want you to know because the quality of our connection will make all the difference in the quality of your life.

You are going to discover that while you are unique, you share similar driving core motives with people of every faith, race, gender, and economic condition. An illegal immigrant, a terrorist, an Australian film sensation, and a U.S. president all share the same driving core motive. They may appear substantially different because of the many nuances that enhance and detract from our unique lives, but their core personalities remain the same. In other words, what drives their daily existence—their needs and wants and personality motives, remains the same. What you could know about people from around the world would amaze you if you only understood the code.

I am at the very core of your personality, which is born in your soul. I am completely different from your personal history, which is reflected in your family upbringing, race, religious affiliations, birth order, and other cultural influences. A unique blending of both personality and personal history creates the distinct mixture that ultimately becomes you.

Before you had fingers and toes, we were best friends. Before your parents met you, I was part of your every thought and action. I often reflect back on our early days together and remember how easy it was and how well we got along. I would whisper in your ear and you would automatically agree. I gave you confidence to be you.

I am still your best friend and strongest ally, but sometimes you forget how well I know you. You can ignore me and then I become your worst nightmare. When you are true to me, your life makes sense. When you deny me, or resist my influence, you are miserable and so is everyone else around you.

I remain a mystery to most people. They don’t understand our relationship. I am not merely a product of genetics (two Red parents do not a Red baby make!). I am not a reflection of your cultural ancestors (don’t blame me for your hot Irish temper!). I am born in your soul and provide the primary driving motive for your entire life—unique from the many other factors that influence how you think and behave. Every human being is born with a driving core motive that lies at the very center of their innate personality. Your driving core motive makes all the difference in how you look at life.

I will never lie to you. As you grow older, you may reject me or lie to yourself about who you really are, and then things can get pretty ugly between us. Remember, people lie loudest when they lie to themselves.

Sometimes, but not always, people wake up. They sort out what caused them to become incongruent with themselves and once again life makes sense and feels good. Sometimes, however, they prefer pleasing others or give in to their fears, living their lives out in lies and incongruence. Now, that is a tragedy. I hope you will want to know me. Learn about me. I will always tell you the truth about you. And once you know your true self, you carry a most powerful awareness of how to play to your strengths in life.

Remember, I will always be with you. You can always come to me when you want to live congruently with who you were born to be. Life will challenge you to lose sight of yourself. Look inward and you will see me. I remain one constant you can always trust—your driving core motive. Use me as your North Star and everything else will line up legitimately to bring you meaning in your life.

Very best of living,

Your driving core motive

Remember when your driving core motive told you about the two defining factors that make up the unique you—personality (which includes your driving core motive) and personal history? Sometimes personality and personal history work well together to enhance a person and other times they work against each other. Let me explain.

There has been an ongoing debate about whether it is nature (innate personality) or nurture (personal history) that most defines a person. Truth be told, both sides have valid arguments. Your driving core personality is with you in the womb, but once you’re born, it quickly becomes enmeshed with personal history as parents impact your habits and lifestyle. Your personality becomes layered with your personal history, making you as unique as your fingerprint. Your personality defines your innate motive, needs, and wants, and inherent strengths and limitations. Your personal history strongly influences your perspective on life. I am a strong Yellow personality who innately loves to play. I was born to a strong Red mother who expected me to be productive in society. While my desire to play (innate personality) clashed with her desire for me to be productive (personal history), the combination offered me a unique way of negotiating my life that makes me different from any other Yellow on the planet.

One must not give either component too much leverage in dictating how he or she lives. For example, Yellows can’t just say, “Of course I’m late and act irresponsible. I’m Yellow, you know!” Nor can one use genetic aspects of personal history to explain poor choices. “...