Chapter 1
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Iâll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
â MAE WEST
In economics, there is a term called barriers to exit that refers to the many hurdles to leave a market, sector, or offering. A company with a dying product is considering discontinuing the line; but the cost to do so is prohibitive. A termination fee is a barrier to exit. It will cost you money to end a contractâmake it more painful to leave than to stay. Sometimes barriers to exit are so high that the barrier outweighs the potential gain from moving on. I faced a big barrier to exit in my career.
In college, I picked the major that I thought would get me closest to what my mom wasâan amazing person and leader, surrounded by people who respected her and worked for her over long periods of time. The closest thing at my college was human resources. Recruiting, leadership, retention. It sounded great. It was a major in people, right? It didnât take long for that dream to turn dark.
Two years after graduating, I was telling a guy who had been with the company for 35 years that his job was gone. We were closing the plant. Shutting the entire operation down. Slimming down to get the rest ready for sale. We were all going to be let go. The leadership team had talked about the possibility for weeks, yet this guy was shocked. He was angry. He was mad at the company. He was mad at the leaders. He was mad at the venture capitalist company that was trying to sell us. And he focused all his anger on meâthe closest person to him telling him news that he dreaded hearing. He screamed at me. He pounded his fists on the table. I thought he was going to jump across the table and attack me. Chris, who worked in the next office came in to help the employee leave. After they left, I looked down at my list and scanned the names of the remaining 24 people I had to repeat that process with. It wasnât a good day for me. It wasnât a good day for people in general. Not a great example of why I got into human resources. Yet, even after that, I stayed in the field.
I climbed the ladder. I got my first manager position. Then a regional role. Soon I was leading the HR function for large divisions of key sectors of the business. I managed more terminations, employee relations nightmares, downsizing, rightsizing, and lawsuits. I stayed in a field that I didnât really love because I felt like I couldnât leave. I had a bachelorâs degree in HR and a masterâs degree in HR and, by that time, 20 years in the field. The thought of leaving this expertise was a massive barrier to exit. So, I got good at mixing it up.
To break the monotony of the job, I changed companies at a regular clip. To stay for four years at one location was a long tenure. I had to keep moving to refresh my reserves, or else the drain on my emotional bank would begin to sap me. Because I had a knack at writing my own rĂŠsumĂŠ and preparing for interviews, Iâd land a new job with ease. I just wouldnât stay very long. I found areas that I loved at the fringe of HR and would pour my heart into them, like being on a national diversity council or stabilizing a market for an HR consulting firm. No one could tell that I wasnât happy. Then I worked for a boss who could tell.
My boss was an incredible public figure in international circles. He was charismatic. Magnetic. He had an amazing capacity to move crowds of people as a keynote speaker. And he liked to have people around him that were devoted to him. I thought he was a great public figure, but I wasnât a devotee. It wasnât his fault. Iâm a low-hierarchy organization, slightly irreverent kind of person. My lack of devotion didnât float his boat. After too many inadvertent leaks of my neutrality (that he read as disrespect), he asked me to leave. I was the second person on his executive team that he let go. After I left, he let go a third. Before I left, other leaders in the organization offered roles in other departments, yet I couldnât shake the idea that a weight had been lifted from me. It wasnât the company. It wasnât my boss. It wasnât even the field of HR. It was the need to do my thingâI had a calling. It wasnât compliance or issuing written warnings. I had to find My Thing.
I combined everything I loved about my job and founded a coaching business to help people find jobs they love. Every day doing that work felt great. It was like a breath of fresh air. I fell in love with every person I worked with. I helped hundreds of people find amazing jobs. But thatâs not the end of the story. This is where it gets crazy.
In the middle of all of this, I was asked to be Chief Talent Officer at a Silicon Valley startup. The founder was amazing, and she was onto something big! It wouldnât be all HR, she said. What did I do? I took the job and jumped right back into the muck again. But, unlike other slow creeps, my âyuckâ reaction was immediate. Gone were the conversations with my job-seeking clients. Goodbye to career strategy sessions. I had fallen off my island. Yet I told myself to hang on. The stocks were coming. This was going to be big. BIG! Then I could go back to what I was doing. Iâd say this to myself every single miserable day.
Then something terrible happened. Something that rocked my world. I lost my dad. What he thought was gall stones turned out to be liver disease. Before they could operate on him, he caught pneumonia and died. Through his passing, I found my way back again. Back to my island where I belong and where I need to stay because life is too darned short. It is too short to be mucking around in the yuck.
I share this story with you because, if you feel like youâve hit a career U-turn, I want you to know that you are not alone. Perhaps another job that started out great is slowly turning into a dread. You crave using all your talents, all of your skills. And it just feels like youâve stagnated in a role that didnât grow with you. You feel like itâs time for something different. To find your island. Your Thing.
This is not a book that will help you create a rĂŠsumĂŠ. It is not a book that will help you update your LinkedIn profile. This book is about the moment where the rubber meets the road in the job search process. The moment when a recruiter calls you. The moment you speak to the hiring manager. The moment when you need to connect with another person in the job search process.
Iâm so excited to share these ideas with you. Itâs your time. Iâm honored that I may have a small part in your journey to finding a job you love.
Chapter 2
If Iâm So Smart, Why Is This Hard?
Sometimes you canât see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
â ELLEN DEGENERES
Finding a job isnât new territory. Youâve been on this ride before. You know the routine, and in fact, you may have sat on the other side of the table. Perhaps youâve interviewed many people over the years and know what you like to hear in the interview. Yet today it feels just a little bit different. Like youâve entered a parallel universe where everything looks a little sharper and the ground is a little tilted. And in many ways, you have.
At first glance, it may look the same. Getting a job is something youâve done many times in the past. Take my client Ken, for instance. He not only has been hired many times over his incredibly successful 20-year career, he and his team have made thousands of employment offers as a Global Talent Acquisition team. Youâd think Ken would be a pro at getting a job. But, in some strange way, his experience actually made it a bit harder. Because he knew so much, this job search process felt too familiar.
Howard, on the other hand, wasnât at all familiar with the job search process. A new graduate fresh out of school with a few internships under his belt, Howard was preparing for an in-person interview with a company for a Data Analyst. The week prior we talked about how to prepare for interview questions. We recently had his mock interview. He completely nailed it. I asked him if he had practiced and he said that he did, hundreds of times in front of a mirror and then had three of his friend interview him. I was astonished. Not knowing what to expect, Howard went the extra mile to prepare. But for Ken, with 20 yearsâ experience of interviewing others, the interview set-up is all too familiar. âIâll just wing it,â was Kenâs response to interview prep. In my experience, people who are successful tend to approach the job search process too casually.
Success. Itâs a double-edged sword. The more youâve done, the more achievements youâve had, the experience of high-visibility roles, the harder it is to narrow down how you can help another company. Which thing do you pick to talk about? Howard has two internshipsâ worth of work experience. You? You may have 25+ years of multiple successes. Preparing for the interview might be harder for the accomplished and successful.
Youâve Done a Lot and Because of That, You Can Do a Lot
More About Ken
I first met Ken at a small cafe on a beautiful day with a green golf course as our backdrop. He showed me his rĂŠsumĂŠ. He was the global head of talent acquisition for a major tech firm in the Bay Area. He led a large team of 150 employees scattered across Asia, Europe, and South America with an impressive list of achievements. Before that, he worked for another massive tech firm leading international talent acquisition. His rĂŠsumĂŠ was a list of the best top tech firms in the world leading global talent acquisition. âSo, whatâs next for you? You can go anywhere with your background,â I asked Ken. âThat is exactly my struggle,â sighed Ken. âI could work for another tech firm or a small start-up or outside of tech. Iâm having a hard time articulating exactly what I want to do now.â Iâve seen this before. The more youâve done, the greater the list of achievements and successes in your past, the harder it is to articulate what you can contribute during a job search process.
Your Previous Job Titles Donât Describe Your Next Move
Remember Daniel? Daniel worked for 30 years as a rabbi. He was ready to make a pivot in his career to be a shepherd of a community nonprofit instead of a congregation. He led very large congregations and has grown very small congregations, all the while earning multiple community awards. As he faced this pivot in his career, he struggled to articulate his move. âPeople ask me, âso, what do you want to do now?â And I sound wishy-washy,â he told me. Like Ken, he can do many things. He has coordinated widely connected inter-faith efforts to bring tolerance and inclusion to thousands of people over the years. His ability to build coalitions and create a vision of purpose is truly a valuable talent. And he could do the same for a host of other causes. âI need an elevator pitch that captures 30 years of success in 60 seconds or less,â he said.
Do You Have the Wrong Job Title?
After youâve been successful at a company for many years, leaders have recognized your talents and added on more to your plate. Youâve enthusiastically accepted the additional tasks and taken projects to the next level. Over the years, youâve found joy in these side tasks. But it can be difficult to tell recruiters about these roles and the skills youâve gained from them when your job title has been something completely different. My client Pamela, for example, has had a lifetime of experience working for the city as a Computing Systems Manager. In addition to her full-time job, for the past 20 years sheâd been tasked with putting together eventsâfrom small VIP intimate affairs to large events for thousands of people. Pamela was always in the middle of every event, making it flow as perfectly as possible. If the caterer was late, Pamela was on it. The entertainment forgot a major piece of AV equipment? Donât fret, Pamela was there to save the day. Pamela seamlessly addressed these issues with grace and ease. So when she was hunting for a new job, she wanted to apply for an Event Planning Manager position. Unfortunately, though, none of her job titles reflected this skill. Despite numerous attempts, recruiters bypassed her qualifications because her title didnât fit. It was only through connections, she was able to talk with a recruiter. Then she was able to tell a story of how she was meant to contribute to an organization as a full-time event planner. In Pamelaâs situation, she knew her next career move. But some people canât see their successes because what they did, not matter how amazing, was just part of the job.
To You, Amazing Is (Yawn) Normal
Manuel Couldnât See His Success
After 15 years in the US Army, Manuel decided to leave and make the jump to civilian life. He struggled to find a career direction. I asked him to share some of his successes over his long career with the military. âI just followed orders. Everything I did was because I was told to do so by my commanding officer,â said Manuel. I approached his achievements from a different angle. I asked, âWas there anything that youâve done that you were proud of? Even if it was something you were ordered to do?â Thatâs when Manuel told me of a doozy of a story.
âI was deployed and asked by my C.O. to set up a medical facility for a military prison. With a degree in nursing and direct medical care experience, I met with others to understand the number of prisoners we would hold at this facility. The number of military personnel. The number of contractors. I estimated the types of ailments and set out to establish this medical facility. I ordered all the supplies and personnel needed to staff the medical facility. And within six months we had a fully operational hospital.â
I was stunned. âDo you realize how incredible this is?â I asked Manuel. âCOOs of major hospitals do not have this depth and breadth of experience.â
He replied, âI was just following orders.â
Although Manuel was proud of this event, he didnât see it as an achievement as it was all part of what he was told to do. From this success and others that he reluctantly shared, Manuel realized that what he loved to do and had a talent for was leading complex projects within a healthcare environment. He found a job as a Project Manager for a major hospital system in his hometown. With the different titles and nomenclature of the military, it wasnât obvious that to him that he should focus on Project Management.
Things Have Changed Since the Last Time You Looked for a Job
Companies Are Tech-Dependent
Gone are the days of sending your rĂŠsumĂŠ and cover letter to the hiring manager. Iâm not even talking about snail mailâIâm talking about email. With the lowered cost of applicant tracking systems (ATS), every organizationâboth big and smallâcan implement one. Because of that, the ATS has become the primary tool for candidates to introduce themselves to organizations. Today, you upload your document to the ATS and it extracts information from your rĂŠsumĂŠ into the database. It tracks and manages all communication and interfaces with email. It automatically posts jobs to multiple online job boards. Now people from across the nation, or even world, can apply for a position with a few clicks. You are now competing against talented people from all across the globe.
There Are a Lot of Candidates Looking for Jobs
It is common for a recruiter to post a position on a Friday and take it down on a Monday because of the high number of people that applied for the job over the weekend. Job aggregators that comb through the internet looking for jobs to post on their own website make it very easy for candidates from all over to find and apply to jobs. For example, Indeed.com is one of the largest and most popular job search engines today. Remember the Executive Assistant position tha...