Chapter 1
1
āI think itās horrible! Youāve only done it for your own satisfaction . . . to give you a sense of power. Itās absolute sadism.ā
Gerald Vanstead heard his wifeās voice rise in pitch, get shriller and uglier with every word she uttered, and his own nerves seemed to jangle in protest. Why must Meriel shout like that? . . . and was her accent getting worse every day?
In complete contrast came his sisterās voice. Judith Vanstead had always had a beautiful voiceātheir father had often laughingly called her Cordelia.
āWould it be a good idea to look up sadism in the dictionary, Meriel?ā asked Judith. āI donāt think you really understand what it implies. Anyway, never mind. Iām sorry youāre upset, but I had to tell you exactly how things are. Itās right that you should know. Waterson is one of the greatest surgeons living and he wouldnāt suggest operating if he didnāt think it worth while. It may give father another twelve monthsāhe will see the spring again. . . .ā
She broke off, and turned to her brother. āI must go up to Father again now, Gerald. Iāll leave you to talk to Meriel; youāll be better at explaining than I am.ā
Judith moved quietly across the room, serene and dignified, as though she had not even heard her sister-in-lawās shrill voice uttering abuse. Gerald stood up automatically as his sister crossed the room, old habit and training reasserting itself. He opened the door for Judith and closed it behind her, and Meriel broke out again in venomous shrillness.
āIt is horrible. . . . Heās nearly eighty, heās got this hideous disease and suffers hell . . . and Judith and the surgeons have persuaded him to have another operation, just to make him live a few months longer, when lifeās nothing but hell for him anyway. . . . Why canāt they let him go quietly, help him out.ā
āLook here, Meriel, you mustnāt say things like that,ā protested Gerald. āYouāre being very indiscreet, to say the least of it. Donāt let Judith get the impression youāre wanting Father to die. Itāsāāā He broke off, and then added lamely: āWellāweāre the last people who ought to say things like that, old girl, arenāt we? Liable to be misinterpreted.ā
Meriel looked across at her husband, her face sullen and flushed and obstinate. āYou know what I mean, Jerry, so donāt get riding the high horse,ā she said. āYou agreed with me yesterday when I said it was a horrible idea to operate on him again.ā
āI know I did, but I didnāt realise that the surgeon thought they could give him another year or two. Dash it all, Merry, the poor old boy wants to go on living . . . itās his decision. If he finds life worth livingāwell, good luck to him.ā
āIt isnāt his decision. Itās Judithās,ā she replied. āHe told me weeks ago that all he wanted was to go out quietly, he was sick of the everlasting pain. Judith doesnāt want to keep him alive for his own happiness, but for her own prestige. Sheās Miss Vanstead of Templedean Place . . . she runs this place and queens it over the Village. You know, Jerry. Sheās everything. Youāre nothing. And Iām plain dirt.ā
Gerald muttered an uncomfortable disclaimer, his thin face twitching unhappily, but Meriel cut in again:
āAnother year or two, Jerry. . . . Do you think Iām going on like this for another year or two?ābeing condescended to by Judith, knowing all the time she despises me and thinks Iām just an ill-bred slut? When I stuck it out in that bloody Jap prison camp, it wasnāt to come here and be treated like Judithās poor relation. I fought for my life and Alanās . . . even you donāt know what I did to keep him alive . . . while Judith was driving a W.V.S. car and talking about equality of sacrifice because she had no butler. God, she makes me sick!ā
Meriel caught her breath in a gasp that was not far removed from hysteria, and Gerald said hastily, āCome upstairs and have a drink, Merry. You need it. So do I. Iāve got some gin in the wardrobe.ā
Meriel laughedāa laugh which was half a sob. āGin in the wardrobe! What would Judith say? I know . . . that itās my influence . . . you were a gentleman till you married me.ā
2
They crossed the wide hall, where the great front door stood open to admit the sunshine, and the light gleamed on ancient oak of floor and panelling, and seemed to caress the madonna lilies and blue delphiniums which stood superbly in huge cut-glass vases on dower chest and table. Gerald followed his wife up the shallow oak stairs, aware of two feelings playing tug of war in his weary mind: Templedean was beautifulāthe most beautiful house in the countryāand he was beginning to hate it. Suddenly he seemed to be back in Malaya, sweating half naked beside his fellow prisoners, while Jap guards lounged nearby . . . and Meriel and Alan were in that filthy compound beyond the wire fencing, suffering God knows what privation and brutality. He remembered Merielās courage, her passionate selfless devotion to their small son, and he understood why she raged now against Judithās calm superiorityāJudith and her Daimler, driving for the W.V.S. . . . and doing without a butler amid the peace and plenty of Templedean, while Meriel had lived through years of sub-human beastliness in a Jap prison camp.
Gerald drew level with his wife, and thrust his arm through hers, giving it a squeeze, angry with himself because he had been irritated by her shrill voice. She was worth a thousand of Judith, and he knew it.
āThereās a circus coming to the fair ground at Watercombe, Merry. We must take Alan. Itād be rather a lark to go there by ourselves first, thoughāmake an evening of it, eh?ā
They had reached the first-floor landing as he spoke, and a light footstep in the corridor on his right made Gerald look round uneasily. . . . Circuses and larks . . . heād said the wrong thing again. But it wasnāt Judith who was approaching; it was Herbert Standishāthe old manās secretary. Standish had a prim pallid face, and its air of permanent disapproval did not seem to have been intensified by what he had heard. He stood aside, with a slight bow to Meriel, waiting for her to move on, and Gerald kept hold of her arm, knowing that Standish despised such behaviour.
āA circus? Good-o! Just suits me,ā giggled Meriel.
3
Meriel crossed the vast sunny bedroom and flung herself on the deep window seat, while her husband groped at the back of a wardrobe and produced gin and angostura. He poured out a couple of stiff drinks into their tooth glasses and joined Meriel by the window, saying āCheersā automatically as he gulped down his drink.
āThatās better,ā he said. āItās regarded as a low-down habit to drink in the morning in this high-minded establishment, but a drink was indicated.ā
Meriel nodded. āIt just about saved my life, Jerry. Iāve never felt so down before, not even with the Nips. After all, we were all in it together then . . . and you can stand a lot if other people are with you. What defeats me here is knowing Iām despised by everybody.ā
He put his thin hand over his wifeās plump one. āYouāre not. Thereās always me, Meriel.ā
āI know, old boy, but even you look down your nose at me sometimes these days. Youāre Judithās brother, and you were brought up here, and you realise that Iām just a lousy Colonial with an Australian accent. . . . Judithās trying to improve Alanās voice now. I suppose itās funny, but it gets my goat.ā
Gerald flushed unhappily, and she went on quickly: āWeāve got to have it out sometime, Jerry, so letās get it over. When we settled down with my folks in Queensland after we got away from the Nips we were as happy as kings, but Judith cabled you to come back because your father couldnāt live for six monthsāāā
āI had to come, Merry. Both my brothers had been killed, and I am the old boyās heir. I hadnāt seen him for twelve years, and I couldnāt refuse to come.ā
āI know, poor old boy, I know. Iām not blaming you. I knew you wanted to come back hereāāā
āI wanted you to come, too, Merry, and Alan. Itās to be our home, and I looked forward to showing it to you, and giving you a good time here. Youāve had a pretty poor time since you married me, I know that.ā
āOh, can it, Jerry. Never mind about all that. Itās now weāve got to think about, not the past or the future. And I tell you that I canāt stick it any longer, here and now. Iām through. Iāve had enough. Weāve been here for nearly two years, being treated as poor relations. It may not matter to you, but it does to me. I canāt stick any more of it. Another two years of this? Hell! Iād be in a madhouse before that.ā
āBut Meriel darling, what else can we do? You know I havenāt got any money. Everything in Malaya went to bloody blazesāburnt, sacked, looted. . . .ā
āI know, Jerry. I saw it happen, donāt forget that. Youāre going back to the past again. Itās now that matters. You say the old manās going to live for another two years. All right, but Iām not staying here for another two years, watching Judith playing at being God Almighty and teaching Alan to despise me and you to look down your nose at me. Iām going back to Queensland, and Alanās coming with me. Itās up to you to decide what youāre going to do. Youāve got to make up your own mind.ā
Gerald got up and poured himself out another drink. His hands were unsteady and his eyes blurred. He had always been a nervy creature, and his experiences in a Japanese prison camp had undermined his health and nerves alike. He swallowed his drink and turned back to his wife.
āYou know as well as I do that I havenāt got the money to pay your fares back,ā he retorted, āso thatās that.ā
āOh no, it isnāt, Jerry. Where thereās a will thereās a way. Old Nick Jamieson would send me the money if I cabled him. The last thing he said to me was Iād only got to ask. He knew I should hate it here, and was he right? Like hell he was!ā
Gerald took a deep breath and strove hard to keep himself in hand. He wasnāt going to quarrel with his wife, but something inside him urged him to shout at her in a rage. Couldnāt she see that what she suggested was outrageous?
āLook here, Merry. Donāt fly off the handle. I know itās sickening for you, but stick it out. This place is to be ours, yours and mine, and then Alanās. It wonāt always be like this. I know Judith irritates youāāā
āIrritates me? Get this clear, old boy. If I stay in this house with her much longer I shall strangle her. Get my hands round that superior lily-white neck of hers and just choke the breath out of her. Irritate me? Iād say she does. And then some.ā
Geraldās face twitched, but before he could answer, Meriel went on: āSorry, old boy. That was a rotten thing to say. After all, she is your sister, but I canāt help loathing her. Iām not used to being treated like a skunk. When it comes to the realities of living, I could work Judith to a standstill in two twos, and folks arenāt ashamed of working in my home town. I hate all this eyewash and poodle-faking, and high-falutinā. If this is culture, give me the other thing!ā
Gerald sighed, the sigh of a weak, indeterminate man. He had seen this issue facing him for months, and shirked it. Now he couldnāt shirk it any longer, but he still tried to temporise.
āDonāt be in such a tearing hurry, Meriel. Wait a bit. You see, I canāt clear out all in a rush. Iāve got to be here until after fatherās operation, anyway. Itād look just too frightful to go away before we know . . . people would talk.ā
āWho the hell cares what people say? Thatās the trouble with you folks over here. Youāre always worrying about what somebody else will say,ā she retorted. āAnyway, theyāre operating next week, arenāt they? Trust these swell sawbones to make sure of their fee. Well, Iāll agree to stay on here till the end of this month, Jerry, but no longer. Otherwise itāll be the same old game again, and Judith calling the tune because sheās got the dibs. Send Alan to a nice prep school, away from me, that is. Come between you and me so that you realise what an outsider your wife is, I know. Iāve watched it. One thing, you can bet your bottom dollar Judith wonāt do anything to stop me going back home. Sheāll be delighted, right down to her boots. And if youād got a haāporth of spunk youād walk out on her, and tell her why.ā
āYou donāt understand,ā he began wearily, but Meriel cut in briskly.
āOh yes I do! I may be a lousy Colonial but Iām not a fool, not anybodyās fool. What I donāt know about human nature isnāt worth knowing. And now give me another drink, Jerry, and tell me about that circus. I shall be just tickled to death to see something nice and vulgar. Iāve had enough high-hat to last me my natural.ā
4
āHeaven bear me witness,ā exclaimed Judith Vanstead. āI am not an uncharitable person, but that woman is impossible. I have never met such blatant, unashamed self-centredness.ā
Walter Vanstead, brother to Judithās and Geraldās father, put down his book and cocked his bushy white eyebrows. āAre you making that statement as an item of news value?ā he enquired. āI should have thought that the qualities you mention were patent in Geraldās wife from the moment one set eyes on her. She is out for what she can get. I take it that her reaction to Watersonās report is quite typical, resentment that Charlesās life may be prolonged.ā
Judith turned away, her eyes filling with tears, and her uncle went on: āItās no use being nice-minded in assessing your sister-in-law, my dear. When Charles dies, Gerald inherits, and when Gerald inherits, Geraldās wife will make a clean sweep here. You will go, I will go. The servants will go, and the estate will go to blazes. Gerald always was a duffer, and heās a duffer still. While youāre here, you can keep him on the rails to some extent. After all, tradition and rearing count for something, but once heās left alone with that woman, heāll go to the pack. Itās inevitable.ā
Judith sat down beside her uncle. āYouāre not being quite fair,ā she expostulated. āI wasnāt fair, either, but Merielās attitude made me angry. Meriel has got a lot of good qualitiesāshe must have or she wouldnāt have survived those awful experiences out in Malaya. Sheās got courage and loyalty and tenacity. I admit all that. Itās probably my fault that I havenāt managed to make friends with her. Sheās so crude.ā
āShe is of another world from yours and she speaks another language,ā said Walter Vanstead. āShe represents everything you and I dislike. She has bad taste, bad manners, and bad habits. If she werenāt Geraldās wife you wouldnāt have tolerated her in this house for a week, let alone for a year.ā
āBut Merielās had something to put up with too,ā urged Judith. āI realise itās galling for her, as a married woman, to live in a house controlled by another woman. I know she hates itāāā
āVery well,ā replied Walter. āLet us assume that you are right, and that Meriel does hate being here. The answer to that is quite simple. Let her go somewhere else.ā
Judith raised her fine eyebrows. āBut where?ā she asked. āI canāt turn her out, Uncle. After all, she and Gerald are here because I asked them here. Meriel is my guest, in a sense. While Father is alive, I am still mistress in this house, and when I cabled to Gerald to come home, I asked him to bring his wife with him.ā
āAdmitted,ā replied Walter Vanstead, ābut at the time it did not occur to us that Gerald and Meriel would be here as guests indefinitely. I repeat my suggestionālet her go somewhere else where she may conceivably be happier than she is at Templedean.ā
āGerald hasnāt any money, Uncle, and in any case itās difficult to get a small house now.ā
āWho suggested getting a small house? Certainly I did not,ā rejoined Walter dryly. āWhen I suggested that she should go somewhere else, I meant return to her own home and her own people. Although, for my own comfort, I avoid and ignore the pair of them as far as is possible, I am not totally unobservant, Judith. I give it as my considered opinion that if...