Connecting Across Cultures

The Helper's Toolkit

Pamela A. Hays

• Publisher: SAGE Publications, Inc
• Year: 2012
• ISBN:
  9781452289441
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: History & Theory in Psychology
• Index: Psychology

Chock-full of fun exercises, surprising tips, and real-world case examples, Pamela A. Hays' Connecting Across Cultures: The Helper's Toolkit provides both students and professionals in health care and social service with the skills to develop respectful, smooth relationships with their clients and with the community at large. The book provides practical, hands-on strategies for connecting with people across differences related to ethnicity, religion, nationality, sexual orientation, disability, age, gender, and class. Since cross-cultural relationships add a level of difficulty to all the usual relationship challenges, this book will be applicable for almost every relationship you may encounter.

1 Diversity is Unavoidable, and That's a Good Thing

Great achievements are not born from a single vision but from the combination of many distinctive viewpoints. Diversity challenges assumptions, opens minds, and unlocks our potential to solve any problems we may face.

—Source unknown¹

Bob was living and teaching in a Siberian Yup'ik² village on Saint Lawrence Island, off the west coast of Alaska. The Siberian Yup'ik people are known for exceptional survival skills and awareness of the environment that help them to survive in an extreme climate. Listening, observing, and silence are highly valued, which makes sense when you consider that talking, loud noises, and fast movements scare away the fish and animals on which the people depend. Bob is a friendly person and throughout the day, whenever he passed one of the 33 students in the small school, he would always say “good morning” or “hi.” One day one of his students said to him with genuine curiosity, “Why do you [White] guys say hi so much? Once is enough.” From the Siberian Yup'ik perspective, one hello per day was sufficient.

When I asked Bob how he responded to the student's question, he said it caught him off guard, but after that he made an effort to say hello only once each day to the student. He confessed that he continued to say hello several times to all the other students because it was ingrained in him as polite behavior.

I call Bob's experience of surprise at learning a totally new perspective the aha! experience. The thought that often accompanies such an experience is, “Wow, I never thought of it that way.” Because people often assume that their own culture, beliefs, and ways are the best and only ways, the aha! experience can be unsettling and even painful. But if we avoid defensiveness and stay open to new ideas, the aha! experience can change our assumptions and behavior in ways that facilitate our relationships, broaden our perspectives, and enrich our lives. And much of the time, this learning can be fun.

Consider this: Have you ever had an aha! experience? Did it change your behavior or perspective?

Your Life is Multicultural, Even if you don't Know it

The world is in the midst of a multicultural revolution that touches everyone and offers possibilities for a richer, more interesting, and sustainable future. For example, in today's multicultural America, people of Latino, Asian, Native, Middle Eastern, Pacific Island, and African heritage make up over one third of the country³ Approximately 381 languages are spoken or signed.⁴ Religious minorities include 2.6 million Jews, 1.3 million Muslims, 1 million Buddhists, and half a million Hindus.⁵ People who identify as LGBT⁶ are gaining increasing visibility, and approximately 19% of Americans have disabilities.⁷ Generational differences cross all of these groups, as the average age of Americans increases, and 13% of Americans are now older adults.⁸

Consider this: In today's issue of your local newspaper, count how many articles are reporting on a cross-cultural conflict, cultural event, or person of a minority culture (i.e., defined broadly to include ethnic, racial, religious, and sexual minorities and people with disabilities). Are you surprised by the number?

To give you an idea of the positive possibilities all this diversity brings, consider some of the creations, solutions, and contributions of diverse minority cultures (i.e., ones you may have taken for granted or assumed were European American):

1. Healing practices such as Chinese acupuncture, tai chi, and chi gong; Buddhist meditation and mindfulness practices; and East Indian Ayurvedic medicine and yoga
2. Knowledge used to understand the impact of humans on the environment and develop pollution prevention strategies (e.g., Iñuit and Iñupiaq⁹ elders’ firsthand observations of the effects of global warming on ice, habitats, and animal populations)
3. Survival knowledge held by many Indigenous people of medicinal plants, hunting, fishing, farming, and navigation
4. Music and musical instruments, including Caribbean reggae, Algerian rai, Tuva throat singing, the Aboriginal didgeridoo, Hindu chants, and African American jazz, blues, and rap
5. Artwork such as Navajo tapestries, South American pottery, Alaska Native ivory carvings, African wood carvings, and Chinese calligraphy
6. Dance, including Hawaiian hula, Louisiana Creole zydeco, African American break dancing, Latin American tango and salsa, and AXIS—the collaborative dance of people with and without disabilities
7. Diverse languages that include words for concepts that do not exist in all cultures and find expression in, for example, Arabic poetry, Japanese haiku, Native storytelling, Greek mythology, and Russian literature
8. Innovations such as the Chinese inventions of the clock, paper money, movable type printing, fireworks, and compass; Arab inventions of the decimal system, Arabic numerals, the symbol for zero, artificial insemination for breeding horses, and the mechanical calendar; the Persian invention of sugar extraction; the Aztec invention of hydroponics (plants grown without soil)
9. Unique foods, herbs, spices, and cooking techniques, including Japanese sushi, African couscous, Chinese stir-fry, East Indian samosas, American Indian fry bread, Tibetan lentil soup, and Turkish baklava
10. Clothing and fabrics that are beautiful, practical, inspirational, and/or derived from Indigenous plants and materials—for example, the African caftan, Hawaiian muumuu, Indian sari, embroidered Mexican dresses, colorful Indonesian fabrics, and the Gay Pride flag
11. Architecture—for example, domes that naturally cool homes in North Africa and Spain; Japanese gardens and pagodas; beautiful and inspiring mosques, synagogues, cathedrals, and Buddhist and Hindu temples; and the East Indian Taj Mahal
12. Forms of celebration, including Disability Pride parades, Chinese New Year, Mardi Gras, the Muslim celebration of Eid at the end of Ramadan, Mexican fiesta, African American Kwanzaa, Jewish bar mitzvah and bat mitzvah, Gay Pride parades, and diverse wedding rituals

What you don't Know can Hurt You

Many White people believe that they do not have a culture, perhaps because when you are immersed in the dominant European American culture, it is difficult to see its influence. Think of asking a fish to describe how it is affected by water, when the fish has never been out of water. Perceiving cultural influences is easier when there is some sort of contrast. For many European Americans, this contrast and the first recognition of having a culture comes when visiting another country. But for members of minority groups, being in the minority brings continual awareness of one's culture and minority status.

With or without awareness, culture influences us all. And as diversity increases, so do misunderstandings and conflicts. Well-intentioned members of dominant groups are often unaware of the ways in which their language and behavior communicate bias. Take the following quiz and see if you can figure out what the dominant-culture member did that offended the other person.

Exercise 1.1 Awareness Quiz

Situation 1

Not long after she was hired, a 50-year-old European American manager named Sharon¹⁰ noticed the tension between Linda (a White employee) and Rhadiya (the department's only African American and only Muslim). Sharon initiated separate conversations with each woman to look for a way to facilitate that person's working relationship. Rhadiya told Sharon that she felt less valued by the department and gave examples of team meetings in which she had expressed her opinion and Linda ignored her. She acknowledged that this had occurred only with Linda but felt irritated that none of the other White employees seemed to notice or care. When Sharon talked with Linda, Linda became defensive and denied any negative feelings or disrespectful behavior on her part. Sharon felt concerned about the situation so she asked Rhadiya if she would be interested in making a presentation to the department on cultural issues (“a sort of minitraining to increase our awareness,” she said). To Sharon's surprise, Rhadiya appeared irritated and said she had no interest in doing such a presentation.

Question: Why was Rhadiya offended?

Answer: Rhadiya took Sharon's request as evidence of Sharon's unwillingness to take the time to learn about African Americans and Muslims or find a diversity expert to train the department. Rhadiya resented the implication that it was her responsibility to educate her White coworkers. She knew from experience that talking about race and religion with European American non-Muslims often elicits defensiveness, and to conduct such a training would place her in a vulnerable position. A defensive reaction already appeared to be occurring with Linda's denial that there was any problem, and based on the other White employees’ lack of reaction, Rhadiya guessed that she could not count on their support. Although Sharon recognized the need for the White employees to be more culturally sensitive, by asking Rhadiya to do the training, she was putting the problem back on Rhadiya, reinforcing Linda's implication that “Rhadiya is the one with the problem, not me.”

Situation 2

On the first day of a college social studies class, the topic of gay marriage came up. The teacher (who identified as heterosexual) was aware that there were two students who identified as gay and made the statement “No one should be discriminated against because of his or her sexual preference.” After class, the teacher moved toward the two students (who were sitting together) in order to make a personal connection with them. As they stood up, they nodded at her to acknowledge her presence but then turned away and quickly left. It was clear they did not want to talk with her, which left her feeling hurt and confused.

Question: What did the teacher do or say that offended the students?

Answer: The teacher's use of the term sexual preference, rather than sexual orientation, assumed that a person chooses to be gay, with the implication that one can choose not to be. This assumption of choice is commonly used by antigay groups to justify discrimination. Although the teacher may have been open to feedback about her language, she did not have the opportunity because her words of...