Part I
Introducing Emotional Healing
In this part . . .
Take a moment and think about what healing yourself emotionally may mean for you personally. In this part, you discover how your body uses physical symptoms to alert you to emotional disturbance and how you can begin to tune in to these messages so you can take action to address your emotional problems.
We share information about the biology of emotions and how it impacts your body’s self-healing system. We also give you specific techniques that help you re-balance and re-set your body’s stress response.
Chapter 1
Understanding Emotional Healing
In This Chapter
Uncovering your emotional needs
Using thoughts to feel better
Getting out of stuck states
Releasing yourself from past pain
Certain events in your life – bereavement, accidents, divorce or the negative emotional responses of other people – can affect you deeply. As a result, you may experience anger, fear, guilt, anxiety, hurt and a host of other painful emotions. You can probably name some people who become bitter after a minor disappointment and other people who suffer trauma and yet manage to smile again. Although time can play its part, the difference is in the way you think about your situation and in the support you receive.
Emotional healing occurs when events in your life no longer disturb you when you recall them or limit you from enjoying life. Clinging to misery and holding onto negative emotions isn’t virtuous. You can unburden yourself and move forward with a lighter step. This book is your opportunity to review how you’re thinking and feeling about these events in order to move on and heal your wounds.
The key to healing emotions lies not in what you experience but in how you respond. The quality of your life depends more on your emotional state than on specific events. You can ease or adjust any feeling by adopting a different perspective. This chapter introduces you to the main ingredients of emotional healing. We help you recognise how your emotions are impacting your life and identify what actions you can take to heal them. You can get unstuck from old memories or current challenges and free yourself to lead life unimpeded by the chains of the past. Life is for living in a positive way; we show you how to focus on managing and enjoying the present and future.
Appreciating the Role of Emotions
Emotions are designed to help you survive. They express your deepest desires and act like a compass to remind you of the things you most care about. They direct you to take action that keeps you emotionally happy and physically secure.
Your biological make-up consists of chemicals, including hormones, that drive you to protect both your physical security and your sense of self. A complex mix of chemistry fuels your energy when you’re in physical danger and also drives you towards meeting your emotional need for love, recognition, intimacy and connection with others (see Chapter 2). Your instinct is to avoid pain and to seek pleasure. No one’s life, however, is without some pain.
Sending signals to yourself
Your emotions demand your attention through the signals that you feel. Hence, you feel happy in situations that are good for you. These signals also make you feel uncomfortable when something isn’t in your best interests. Similarly, you may feel anxious, grumpy, overwhelmed, miserable or fatigued when your personal security is threatened.
Emotions act like a silent and wise navigation process. Emotional messages remind you of your values and personal truths. When you don’t listen to these cues, emotional and physical disturbances occur. How often have you said to yourself, ‘I knew that there was going to be a problem with this job’ or ‘I always had a bad feeling about this relationship’ or ‘I get a headache after talking to Bill’? When you tune into these signals, you can take action to adjust the situation to better meet your needs. Negative feelings upset the balance of your body. The chemicals that give you the strength or speed to respond to physical threat reduce the effectiveness of your immune system to keep you healthy when threat or stress persists too long. If you don’t address your emotional messages, you may become physically ill. In worst cases, ignoring your needs can result in mental breakdown, depression or serious illness. Chapter 2 gives more information in this area.
You need to acknowledge, name and express your emotions in appropriate ways, otherwise you hold them in a locked-in state within your body. In Chapter 3, we discuss ways in which you can consciously monitor your feelings and interpret the messages you’re receiving. Throughout the book, we show you how to take action and focus on those aspects of life that make you feel good.
Assessing your basic needs
Your health and happiness are disturbed when your basic needs a...
