Wedding Etiquette For Dummies

Sue Fox

• Publisher: For Dummies
• Year: 2009
• Print ISBN: 9780470502082
• eBook ISBN: 9780470583524
• Edition: 1

Your expert guide to the dos and don'ts of getting married

Your wedding should be fun, exciting, and worry-free-but most brides, grooms, and their families run into sticky situations or unique circumstances that surround etiquette. Now, there's a definitive guide that provides the solutionsfor all those dilemmas big and small.

Wedding Etiquette For Dummies provides sound information and guidance-whether it's deciding how to handle divorced parents, inform guests of where the couple is registered, or tastefully incorporate new traditions into your ceremony and reception. You get plenty of proven advice and tips for everything from who pays for the wedding and properly announcing the engagement to hosting events leading up to the wedding and dealing with destination wedding snags and pitfalls. You'll even see how to gracefully handle wedding cancellations and postponements.

• The dos and don'ts of wedding etiquette for any bride, groom, relatives, or friends of the marrying couple
• Tips for proper behavior during the engagement, ceremony, and reception
• Advice on dealing with the wedding party and opinionated or pushy in-laws
• Special considerations for second (or more) marriages and military, ethnic, and religious weddings
• How to set up a tasteful, interactive wedding website and write the all important thank you note
• Sue Fox is the author of Etiquette For Dummies, 2nd Edition and Business Etiquette For Dummies, 2nd Edition

Leaving no wedding dilemma uncovered, Wedding Etiquette For Dummies is your one-stop guide for having the wedding of your dreams without the stress!

Part I

Engaging in Proper Wedding Etiquette from the Start

In this part...

In this part, I provide suggestions and advice on incorporating etiquette and grace into the beginning of your wedding planning — starting with the proper way of announcing your engagement. I talk about the basics of save-the-date cards and engagement parties, and I give you helpful information for creating a wedding Web site. I also offer some gentle guidance on how to politely handle sticky situations, such as dealing with family or friends who may object to your marriage. Finally, I offer advice on the all-important task of managing your wedding finances — and keeping the peace at the same time!

Chapter 1

Incorporating Etiquette into Your Wedding

In This Chapter

Announcing your happy news

Properly using technology during wedding planning

Determining the budget and planning duties

Coordinating all the details

Acting appropriately on — and after —your big day

Now that you’re newly engaged, it’s time to start the planning! As exhilarating and fun as wedding planning can be, you need to keep in mind that weddings scream etiquette more than just about any other event in life, so, before you get started, take some time to understand the guidelines — which is where this book comes in.

From the moment you become engaged to the moment you and your beloved wave farewell to your guests after the reception (and beyond!), this book provides all you need to know to plan your wedding, walk down the aisle, and receive your guests with grace, dignity, and good manners. This chapter introduces you to the essentials. Gracious planning, and best wishes!

Etiquette (in other words, good manners) is a way of honoring and showing respect to other people in any circumstance, no matter what.

Sharing the News of Your Engagement

Announcing your engagement can be thrilling, intimidating, stressful, or all of the above, depending on whom you’re telling. But properly announcing your engagement is more than just informing your family and phoning your friends: It’s alerting the media. (Just kidding — sort of.)

Really, though, you need to give careful thought to how and when you tell your parents, children (if you have any), siblings, grandparents, other relatives, friends, and co-workers. What should you do if someone objects to your engagement? How do you word the newspaper announcement? And what about save-the-date cards — are those really necessary?

Chapter 2 covers all these concerns in detail. It also explains everything you need to know about the etiquette of having engagement parties and handling the unfortunate situation of calling off the engagement.

Putting Technology to Proper Use during Wedding Planning

A wedding Web site is an excellent tool for publishing details about your engagement and wedding. For example, you can provide a place for guests to select their meal preferences, as well as share information about accommodations for out-of-town guests. You can even tell your personal engagement story or the tale of how you met. And don’t forget to share photos — just make sure they’re appropriate for all your guests.

Chapter 3 gives you all the Web site etiquette and pointers you need to know. It also discusses the use of e-mail during wedding planning. In some instances, e-mail is completely inappropriate (such as in place of formal wedding invitations or thank-you notes), but there are a few times when using e-mail is okay.

As wonderful as a wedding Web site can be, know that such sites (along with e-mail) don’t take the place of formal announcements and invitations. After all, Grandma probably doesn’t have access to the Internet, and even if she does, she still wants a printed invitation for a keepsake.

Establishing the Budget and Planning Responsibilities

Over the years, the people responsible for funding the wedding have changed. Traditionally, the bride’s family paid for a good portion of the costs, but today about 30 percent of couples pay for their own weddings, sometimes with a little help from both their families.

Knowing who pays for what can be tricky. Trickier still is graciously managing overly ambitious (yes, pushy) people who want to have a major say in how you plan your wedding. Fear not! You don’t have to go at it alone. Chapter 4 focuses on handling budget and planning responsibilities with grace.

Making Plans for Your Ceremony and Reception

Although etiquette certainly plays a major role on your wedding day, good manners are also crucial when you’re planning the basics of your ceremony and reception, as you find out in this section.

Understanding different ceremony styles

In addition to choosing whether to have a formal or informal wedding, you have to choose to have either a religious or secular service — both of these decisions somewhat determine your ceremony’s overall style. Various faiths/denominations have unique customs. A Christian wedding is vastly different from a Hindu wedding, for example. Military weddings have a certain protocol. Destination weddings and commitment ceremonies involve their own etiquette guidelines. Each of these choices helps define your particular wedding style.

Chapter 5 gives etiquette considerations for a variety of wedding ceremony styles.

Deciding your ceremony’s details

After you settle on a ceremony style, it’s time for the fun stuff: figuring out the ceremony details. You have to choose everything from the date and time to the content of your programs — all while keeping your manners intact and ensuring that the ceremony itself is appropriate. Here are a few of the topics I cover in Chapter 6:

Making sure your ceremony style matches your location

Agreeing on a date and selecting a time that works for your ceremony’s level of formality

Graciously communicating to the officiant your desires for the ceremony and working well with the officiant throughout the entire planning process

Selecting your music, special readings, and vows

Appropriately honoring deceased loved ones

Assembling wedding programs

Planning your transportation to and from the ceremony

Preparing for your reception

After you become engaged, the ceremony and reception sites are among the first things you need to select and book (after the officiant, if possible). In fact, many couples pick their wedding dates from the list of available dates they get from their chosen venues. (Gee, how romantic!)

After you’ve booked a site, what do you have to consider as you plan the rest of your reception? Chapter 7 is your go-to chapter for helpful etiquette guidelines about this step of the planning process.

Working Out the Details of Your Wedding

Working out the details of your wedding means selecting your attendants, choosing appropriate attire, assembling your guest list, putting together invitations and wedding announcements, giving and receiving gifts graciously, and attending a variety of festivities before the wedding. This section introduces guidelines on how to effortlessly navigate through these details.

Choosing your wedding party

After you know the style of your wedding, you can figure ou...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Table of Contents
• Title Page
• Introduction
• Part I: Engaging in Proper Wedding Etiquette from the Start
• Part II: The Main Event: Planning Your Ceremony and Reception
• Part III: Working on Wedding Details with Your Manners Intact
• Part IV: Behaving on the Big Day and Beyond
• Part V: The Part of Tens