Chapter One
GOOD NEWS
Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power.
âTao Te Ching
It is in self-imitation that a master first shows himself.
âJohann Wolfgang von Goethe, German playwright, poet, novelist, and dramatist, 1749â1832
A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure.
I donât want to be at the mercy of my emotions.
I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.
âOscar Wilde, Irish poet, novelist, dramatist, and critic, 1854â1900
Imagine . . .
Itâs Monday morning. Youâre in the car, just heading to work after a two-week trip to Cancun.
On the way in, your cell phone hasnât stopped ringing, traffic is mostly stopped, and you canât imagine what must be waiting for you at the office. You feel your relaxed nerves slowly tightening.
Sure enough, just after greeting you with a hearty âWelcome back,â the boss asks you to locate suitable office space âwithin the next two monthsâ for a new foray into the Chicago region. You learn that Human Resources is behind schedule in downsizing (or âright-sizing,â as the board likes to call it) 5 percent of the employees at two facilities, with a six-month deadline looming. And Sales and Marketing informs you that the personnel cuts are causing morale problems, which in turn threaten to adversely affect customer sales and perception. And thatâs just the half of it. Thanks to right-sizing in other departments last year, you already feel like you have more on your plate than you can handle. What a day!
You arrive home exhausted. The relaxation you felt in Cancun is all but completely faded, and you go to bed early.
The next day, Tuesday morning, you take the train to work.
Well, at least you can respond to text messages on the trainâthatâs a distinct advantage over driving! Small consolation. Youâre still wondering how to address your wifeâs new concerns about the big family move you decided to make to a new neighborhood. She wants to talk about it after dinner tonight. And then thereâs that urgent memo from the VP that came in just as you were leaving work yesterday. Now that you think of it, what are you going to do about your vacation resolution to âkeep in shape no matter whatâ?
It hardly feels like you even had a vacation.
How often have you feltâat work or homeâas though you had to act like everything is under control, but inside you are silently wondering how youâre going to manage, how youâre going to get it all done and on time?
Youâre not alone.
Like most of us, in this age of multitasking, information overload, and trying to juggle more responsibilities thanks to corporate downsizingâoops, I mean right-sizingâsometimes you just want to jump in the car and spend the day at the beach or by the lake, or hang out with friends, or go golfing, or go running, do anything, be anywhere elseâjust to get away from it all, clear your head, and try to gain some perspective.
Yes, after a mental break or physical activity, things do seem a little better. Itâs good to take a break. Yet the anxiety of trying to manage it all creeps quickly back and weighs even more heavily on your energy and spirit.
Wouldnât it be nice to have a simple system that made it all easy?
Even better, wouldnât it be nice to have a fast and easy system to juggle all these projects and demands?
âIf only,â you sigh, but you just arrived at work and must return to the projects at hand. Hey, is that your cell phone ringing again, or another text message?
Finally, you somehow manage to make it successfully through all the weekâs mountains. You feel tremendous reliefârelaxation, evenâand a sense of accomplishment. All the pressure that you felt at the beginning of the week is off your shoulders. You feel pounds lighter, lighter than air. Itâs almost as if those big Mount Everests of last week never existed. And after a little rest, you even feel a surge of newfound energy and an attitude of âI can do anythingâbring it on!â
ThenâBAMâslammed again. More deadlines, new goals, new mountainsâthe cycle repeats.
Is this what our leadership calls operating at optimum efficiency? Clearly this canât go on forever. I know a lot of my colleagues compare this new performance expectation to âfeeling like theyâre on a hamster wheel,â while trying to fit in eating, sleeping, and maintaining some kind of social life at the same time.
There must be a better way to deal with whatâs asked of you in life and work.
Believe me, I understand your pain!
When starting out in my career, I often felt the same way, overwhelmed beyond words. Soon I was juggling increasing corporate demands, a wonderful new, young and growing, family and a blur of projects, obligations, and dreams.
Like you, I wondered how I could keep it all together, keep making progress, and, frankly, stay sane in the process.
Donât get me wrong. I loved what I did. I still do. I love my family, too, which has always been the most important priority to me. Yet, even so, nothing changed how overwhelmed I often felt during those early years.
Then one day I made a breakthrough observation.
This observation led me to embark on a quest that resulted in the simple system youâll learn in this book: a simple system that, once mastered, will enable you to achieve your goals and dreams with speed, ease, and confidence, and will greatly reduce your stress and worry.
Imagine achieving what today seems overwhelming and impossible, with speed, ease, and confidence. Less stress and worry. It sounds like a dream come true.
THE OBSERVATION
One day it struck me that it must be possible to be successful in life and not feel constantly overwhelmed, because I had seen a handful of people who truly lived like this.
For me, these people were like seasoned mountain climbers, who are so skilled and confident in their ability to scale the tallest peaks that it almost seems to be second nature to them. They do things fast that would take me hours. Iâm merely a weekend warrior who enjoys hiking. But merely observing the seasoned climberâs level of expertise, confidence, and skill in mountain climbingâincluding how to handle outdoor emergencies and contingenciesâwas proof that if I ever desired to become an expert outdoor mountain climber, I knew at least it would be possible to gain this skill.
I learned something else from this observation. Both the seasoned mountain climber and the weekend hiker share something in common at the end of the journey. As they head down the mountain and back to the base camp, regardless of how steep or how rigorous the path, both veteran and weekender feel a sense of satisfaction, tired exhilaration, and relief, after accomplishing a great featâalmost as though the once-looming mountain is now easy.
The only difference between outdoor mountain climbing and the project mountains I faced every week at work, was that choosing to devote time and energy to climb the Himalayas or Mount Everest was a luxury for me. Whereas climbing my weekly mountain range of projects and responsibilities was not a luxury. It was a necessity.
People who exhibited these skills were like seasoned mountain climbers.
These few standout individuals always seemed to have it together, even though they juggled immense and highly demanding careers and responsibilities that were much greater than mine. Even in the midst of crises, these individuals exhibited a surprising sense of peace and calm clarity of thought and direction.
These individuals were not the ones clamoring for attention and stepping on others to promote themselves. Sometimes they werenât even the head of the department or company. And they didnât need a title to attract others to follow them.
Instead, these individuals were genuine leaders, anchors amid the chaos. They always seemed to have time to give an encouraging word, or to quickly redirect a project that had become derailed. Sometimes Iâd come to these individuals to seek advice or to discuss a project. Always Iâd walk away satisfied, at peace, because I had regained clarity about my concerns thanks to their comments.
That observation gave me hope. This was good news! After all, if these individuals could do it, so could Iâbut how?
Before we get to âhow,â itâs important to ground ourselves in the good news that you and Iâanyone who wants toâcan master core thinking skills using a simple system that will eliminate the overwhelmed feelings that often plague us.
DO IT:
Go ahead, discover for yourself the same breakthrough that I had. This will give you practical evidence and hope that it is possible to have calm achievement in the face of great storms and responsibilities.
Write down the names of three people who seem to accomplish a lot with their lives, who are successful leaders, and yet who never seem to be overwhelmed in handling multiple responsibilities, or in facing new problems or challenges that come up. By leaders, I donât necessarily mean CEOs of multimillion-dollar companies. I mean people to whom others look for guidance and reassurance, steady anchors in a storm. These people may be from your work, your family, your church, or even someone youâve observed at a favorite restaurant or somewhere else.
1.__________________________________________________
2.__________________________________________________
3.__________________________________________________
Now take it a step further. Observe how these people address the onslaught of concerns that come their way. Write down your answers to these questions:
- How do these individuals maintain their composure in a crisis?
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- How do these individuals get their group focused on the highest priority?
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- How do these individuals initially respond to any concern presented?
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- Were these individuals rational in their approach, or did they just react emotionally?
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- How did these individuals make others feel when others offered their ideas?
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Now, take a look at what you wrote.
If you want to become more like these people, the thinking skills you will learn from reading this book will help you get there.
YES, YOU CAN DO IT!
Over the years, Iâve seen countless people get off the hamster wheel and lead extraordinary lives of achievementâmen and women of all ages, from senior executives and CEOs, to middle managers and new employees, to young parents, athletes, and entrepreneurs. And they did it because they embraced the simple system of thinking skills presented in this book. My hope is that you will have the same results. I know you can do it!
Take my word for it now, it is possible to achieve consistent clarity and calmness in the midst of whatever overwhelming and even unexpected projects and responsibilities come your way.
Letâs look at how you, too, can master these same thinking skills with ease and confidenceâand how you can do it in minutes a day.
TRUST THE PROCESS
Before we begin, I must insist on one thing: Trust...