Eddie’s Devise
In private. A storm is raging outside. Two cloaked figures rush in.
Bess: (fuming) It is so your fault!
Mary: Why? Why is it my fault?
Bess: I’ve been thrown out with your bathwater!
Mary: I’ve been thrown out, too, you / know.
Bess: We all knew that would happen.
Mary: Did we.
Bess: Eddie hated you. He hated everything you stand for.
But me? I’m the temperate sister!
Mary: You’re proud of what your grovelling earns / you?
Bess: (indicating with her finger and thumb) I was this close to getting what I wanted.
Mary: Say it. I dare you.
Bess: Legal acces/sion.
Mary: Unbeliev/able.
Bess: Now he’s tied us together and given us both the boot!
Mary: Just — hurry up, will ya? Dudley and his posse are on their way.
Bess takes a document from inside her cloak.
Bess: “My devise for the succession. By Edward the King.”
Mary: (to Bess, with some distrust) How’d you get it?
Bess: Favours.
Bess reads from the document.
“For lack of issue male of my body, the succession shall fall to the male heirs of Lady Frances Grey: niece to the late King Henry. For lack of such issue, the succession shall fall to her daughter, the Lady Jane Grey — ”
Mary: (incredulous) And there it is —
Bess: “ — and the male heirs of the said Lady Jane.”
Mary: Little Jane Grey.
Bess: “I drank the Kool-Aid” Jane Grey; “I just married Dudley’s stupid son Guildford” Jane Grey.
It’s not even subtle: Guildford marries Jane, Jane becomes Queen, Dudley stands on top of the cake.
Bess points to the document.
An impressive strategy, don’t you think?
Mary: (squeezing it in) No.
Bess: All Jane’s male heirs are also Dudley’s male heirs. That’s the icing.
Bess is obsessed, flipping through pages of the document.
But Eddie doesn’t stop there. Look: Jane’s younger sisters come next, the kids of Jane’s kids, the kids of Jane’s sisters’ kids. Basically anyone related to Jane . . . but us.
Mary: Me. Anyone but me.
Mary takes the document from Bess. Bess is still over her shoulder.
Bess points out a spot in the document.
Bess: “The illegitimate, half-blood relatives are, for all intents and purposes, disabled to ask, claim, or challenge for the said imperial crown.”
Mary: Who’s the bastard.
Bess: May he rest in peace.
Mary and Bess consider this.
Mary: Jane Grey is gonna be the first queen of England.
Bess: Yes. Well. You’re not really equipped.
Mary: For the love / of — !
Bess: (honestly) Nothing against you, but it was Father’s personality that kept the country together, not his policy, and personality’s not exactly your strong suit.
Mary: Does your lack of tact / even —
Bess: Without a charismatic leader, polarization is all this country will ever know.
Mary: Oh, so your charisma can heal our religious divisions?
Bess: Our political divisions. Almost certainly. Better than yours can. I am the popular choice.
Mary: You make me nuts.
Bess: You should be worrying about Dudley now, not me. He’s going to get Jane on the throne. And this (the document) supports both his religion and his politics.
Susan and Bassett interrupt.
Susan: (to Mary) Bassett...
