Chapter 4
Friday, August 1
Clara Hollingshead stared at the light-blue gel coating her now glossy mound of a stomach. It looked like some moon with an unmarked surface, foreign and flawless. She adjusted the towel draped over her hips to cover a few dark pubic hairs peeking out and then glanced at her husband, Gary, who smiled back weakly and dropped his eyes. Clara finally willed herself to look at the monitor.
The ultrasound technician, a young woman named Tiana Ray, sat on a stool beside her. âWell, Mayor, letâs say hello to the little one.â
Ten months earlier, in this same room, the monitor had remained dark, and other than the soft crackle of the ultrasound, the womb had remained silent. A blighted ovum, theyâd called it. There was an amniotic sac, but nothing else had begun to grow. She thought about that moment every dayâGary stricken dumb, creasing his brow and shaking his head, while she tumbled into a strange realm of mourning, missing something that sheâd never known, that had never really existed. But it had.
Today, a pulseâlike an echo picked up from a distant satelliteâgrew louder, and familiar forms quickly took shape.
âHi there, baby,â said Tiana.
Tears welled in Claraâs eyes. âHi,â she said. She was forty-one and had no children. Except now she didâthere, on the monitor. She inhaled and ran her fingers through her sandy blonde hair before finally exhaling.
âThatâs it?â asked Gary. âItâs still there? Itâs okay?â His hands nervously stroked his beard.
âItâs there, and I think itâs fine,â said Tiana.
The fetus was three months along, but this was already their third ultrasound. Clara had started bleeding at eight weeks. She and Gary approached each visit to LaRock Medicalâwhich had only just recently obtained the equipment, thanks to a grant Clara herself had soughtâwith more fear than excitement, more longing than expectation.
âLook, honey.â Gary rose from his chair and pointed at the screen. âYou can see its head.â
The round skull curved down and out again, revealing a full profile.
âMy God, that face,â said Clara, smiling and crying. âThe poor thing has its motherâs nose and chin. Theyâre protruding.â Gary bent toward her and kissed her on that nose and that chin.
They were all smiling there in the dimly lit room. But in a moment Clara willed the smile away. âDoes everything look all right, though?â
Tiana moved the wand over the glossy belly and pointed at the screen. âYou can see the spine here. And the hands. And thereâs the heart.â
It looked like a pair of lips, opening and closing, mouthing the sound of that celestial pulse. âHi,â said Clara again.
âHere,â said Tiana, pointing at a dark mass on the monitor, âis the subchorionic hematoma.â
âGod, itâs still there.â
âBut itâs smaller.â
Clara looked to Gary again, but he wouldnât meet her eyes. He stared at the monitor.
âYeah,â she said, âit does look smaller.â
âShe wonât have to go back on bed rest, will she?â asked Gary.
Clara rolled her eyes. âThat was the longest month of my life. The cafĂ© about fell apart while I was gone.â
âThatâs up to Dr. Tracy,â said Tiana. âBut Iâd say that, considering its reduction, youâll have just a little longer before itâs business as usual.â
âDonât get me wrong. I will if I have to. As long as the babyâs born fine.â She looked at Gary. âYou could roll me onto my side every half hour so I donât get bedsores.â They both smiled. Hope flared up in Clara, but she tried to ignore it. This was already their third pregnancy. Anything could happen yet. In her mind, the baby was a fragile thing, and when she walked, she did so on the front of her feet, as if carrying around something made of china and glass.
âCan you tell if itâs a boy or a girl?â asked Gary.
Tiana moved the wand again. âNo. Too early for that.â
âI wouldnât want to know anyway,â he said. He turned to Clara and mouthed the words, âI love you,â and she whispered, âMe, too.â Gary was a large man, and he might have looked overweight if he werenât six foot six. His hair had receded to the halfway point of his head, though the beard gave balance to his face. He was utterly masculine, capable of great power, yet he almost always spoke gently and softly, smiling sheepishly whenever they kissed or embraced. Theyâd been married ten years.
Their eyes lingered over each otherâs, and something else flared up in Clara, something that always seemed to come along with hope or joy or any brightness of days. She remembered Garyâs affairâwhich heâd confessed almost three years ago now, and which theyâd seemingly put so far behind them. There had been counseling and meetings with their priest and even a private renewal of their vows. But that time had also stoked the symptoms of Garyâs mental illness, which heâd mostly managed over his adult life through therapy and medication. His guilt over the affair had cracked a dam in his mind, and his psychosisâthough briefâsent him to a Marquette hospital after heâd convinced himself that heâd be arrested for his infidelity. That the FBI had files and photographs. That any sirens in the distance meant they were coming for him, to punish him for his sins. He returned home and slipped into a prolonged depression of drinking, sobbing, and nightlong readings of Scripture. And because of all of Garyâs own chaos during that time, Clara had never had a chance to fully grieve the broken marriage. Sheâd never fully poured out her rage at him.
Thisâthis pregnancy, the great summit of their long married existenceâwas finally within reach. Yet there were these dark memories of their past, with her always, like the large grease burn on her left forearm. A caution and reminder of pain.
âWell,â said Tiana, âin the weeks ahead, when Iâm able to tell the sex, Iâll be sure to keep my lips sealed, to you or anyone.â
âGood,â said Clara. âI govern this town. I serve coffee to this town. People here act like theyâre not social, but believe me, this town canât keep secrets.â
She governed Haymaker. She served coffee to Haymaker. Clara was once the longtime waitress at a tiny diner on Schoolcraft called The Spoon, but six years ago sheâd left to start her own place, The Shipwreck CafĂ©, a slightly larger restaurant up on Superior Drive, right on the beach and with a view of the lake. Many Haymakes had grumbled that the place didnât need a second breakfast haunt, and that the Shipwreckâbecause of its location and nautical dĂ©corâwould only attract tourists. But in time Clara had won over locals with her pasties and omelets.
Then two and a half years ago, Reginald McPhee, the townâs eighty-something mayor, died of pneumonia. Heâd been ice fishing at Little Deep Lake during a March thaw. How his old hands clawed him from the water back to solid ground remains a local legend. He died two days later.
Between her tours of duty at the two popular eateries, Clara had become one of the most well-known and well-liked people in all of Haymaker. It was Greta McPhee, Reginaldâs widow, whoâd urged her to run for the vacant post. Clara, excited by the prospects and still wanting to punish Garyâif only through her own successâdid run, against âSlimâ Jim Johnstone, the high school football coach. Unfortunately for him, Johnstoneâs team went 3â6 that year. Things may had been different had Reginald died one year earlier, when the Huskies had won the conference championship. But Clara came out ahead with 59 percent of the vote. A landslide.
It wasnât long before the part-time job seeped into the other hours of the day, into the already long days at the Shipwreck. When t...