PLAYS
AN IDEAL HUSBAND
TO
FRANK HARRIS
A SLIGHT TRIBUTE TO
HIS POWER AND DISTINCTION
AS AN ARTIST
HIS CHIVALRY AND NOBILITY
AS A FRIEND
Contents
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
The Scenes of the Play
ACT I
The Octagon Room in Sir Robert Chilternâs house in Grosvenor Square
ACT II
Morning-room in Sir Robert Chilternâs house
ACT III
The Library of Lord Goringâs house in Curzon Street
ACT IV
Same as Act II
TIME
The present
PLACE
London
The action of the play is completed within twenty-four hours
The Persons of the Play
THE EARL OF CAVERSHAM, K.G.
VISCOUNT GORING, his son
SIR ROBERT CHILTERN, Bart., Under-Secretary for Foreign Affairs
VICOMTE DE NANJAC, Attaché at the French Embassy in London
MR. MONTFORD
MASON, Butler to Sir Robert Chiltern
PHIPPS, Lord Goringâs servant
LADY CHILTERN
LADY MARKBY
THE COUNTESS OF BASILDON
MRS. MARCHMONT
MISS MABEL CHILTERN, Sir Robert Chilternâs sister
MRS. CHEVELEY
AN IDEAL HUSBAND
ACT I
SCENE.âThe octagon room at Sir Robert Chilternâs house in Grosvenor Square.
[The room is brilliantly lighted and full of guests. At the top of the staircase stands Lady Chiltern, a woman of grave Greek beauty, about twenty-seven years of age. She receives the guests as they come up. Over the well of the staircase hangs a great chandelier with wax lights, which illumine a large eighteenth-century French tapestryârepresenting the Triumph of Love, from a design of Boucherâthat is stretched on the staircase well. On the right is the entrance to the music-room. The sound of a string quartette is faintly heard. The entrance on the left leads to other reception-rooms. Mrs. Marchmont and Lady Basildon, two very pretty women, are seated together on a Louis Seize sofa. They are types of exquisite fragility. Their affectation of manner has a delicate charm. Watteau would have loved to paint them.]
MRS. MARCHMONT. Going on to the Hartlocksâ tonight, Margaret?
LADY BASILDON. I suppose so. Are you?
MRS. MARCHMONT. Yes. Horribly tedious parties they give, donât they?
LADY BASILDON. Horribly tedious! Never know why I go. Never know why I go anywhere.
MRS. MARCHMONT. I come here to be educated.
LADY BASILDON. Ah! I hate being educated!
MRS. MARCHMONT. So do I. It puts one almost on a level with the commercial classes, doesnât it? But dear Gertrude Chiltern is always telling me that I should have some serious purpose in life. So I come here to try to find one.
LADY BASILDON [looking round through her lorgnette]. I donât see anybody here tonight whom one could possibly call a serious purpose. The man who took me in to dinner talked to me about his wife the whole time.
MRS. MARCHMONT. How very trivial of him!
LADY BASILDON. Terribly trivial! What did your man talk about?
MRS. MARCHMONT. About myself.
LADY BASILDON [languidly]. And were you interested?
MRS. MARCHMONT [shaking her head]. Not in the smallest degree.
LADY BASILDON. What martyrs we are, dear Margaret!
MRS. MARCHMONT [rising]. And how well it becomes us, Olivia!
[They rise and go towards the music-room. The Vicomte de Nanjac, a young attaché known for his neckties and his Anglomania, approaches with a low bow, and enters into conversation.]
MASON [announcing guests from the top of the staircase]. Mr. and Lady Jane Barford. Lord Caversham.
[Enter LORD CAVERSHAM, an old gentleman of seventy, wearing the riband and star of the Garter. A fine Whig type. Rather like a portrait by Lawrence.]
LORD CAVERSHAM. Good evening, Lady Chiltern! Has my good-for-nothing young son been here?
LADY CHILTERN [smiling]. I donât think Lord Goring has arrived yet.
MABEL CHILTERN [coming up to LORD CAVERSHAM]. Why do you call Lord Goring good-for-nothing?
[MABEL CHILTERN is a perfect example of the English type of prettiness, the apple-blossom type. She has all the fragrance and freedom of a flower. There is ripple after ripple of sunlight in her hair, and the little mouth, with its parted lips, is expectant, like the mouth of a child. She has the fascinating tyranny of youth, and the astonishing courage of innocence. To sane people she is not reminiscent of any work of art. But she is really like a Tanagra statuette, and would be rather annoyed if she were told so.]
LORD CAVERSHAM. Because he leads such an idle life.
MABEL CHILTERN. How can you say such a thing? Why, he rides in the Row at ten oâclock in the morning, goes to the Opera three times a week, changes his clothes at least five times a day, and dines out every night of the season. You donât call that leading an idle life, do you?
LORD CAVERSHAM [looking at her with a kindly twinkle in his eye]. You are a very charming young lady!
MABEL CHILTERN. How sweet of you to say that, Lord Caversham! Do come to us more often. You know we are always at home on Wednesdays, and you look so well with your star!
LORD CAVERSHAM. Never go anywhere now. Sick of London SOCIETY. Shouldnât mind being introduced to my own tailor; he always votes on the right side. But object strongly to being sent down to dinner with my wifeâs milliner. Never could stand Lady Cavershamâs bonnets.
MABEL CHILTERN. Oh, I love London Society! I think it has immensely improved. It is entirely composed now of beautiful idiots and brilliant lunatics. Just what Society should be.
LORD CAVERSHAM. Hum! Which is Goring? Beautiful idiot, or the other thing?
MABEL Chiltern [gravely]. I have been obliged for the present to put Lord Goring into a class quite by himself. But he is developing charmingly!
LORD CAVERSHAM. Into what?
MABEL Chiltern [with a little curtsey]. I hope to let you know very soon, Lord Caversham!
MASON [announcing guests]. Lady Markby. Mrs. Cheveley.
[Enter LADY MARKBY and Mrs. CHEVELEY. Lady Markby is a pleasant, kindly, popular woman, with grey hair Ă la marquise and good lace. MRS. CHEVELEY, who accompanies her, is tall and rather slight. Lips very thin and highly-coloured, a line of scarlet on a pallid face....