Wit and Wisdom of America's First Ladies

A Book of Quotations

Joslyn Pine

• Publisher: Dover Publications
• Year: 2014
• eBook ISBN: 9780486798646
• Topic: Literature
• Subtopic: North American History
• Index: Literature

"The one thing I do not want," quipped Jacqueline Kennedy, "is to be called First Lady. It sounds like a saddle horse." This lively collection includes more than 350 revealing and thought-provoking remarks by White House wives, from Martha Washington ("I live a very dull life here, and know nothing that passes in town.") to Melania Trump ("Together, let's encourage children to dream big, think big, and do all they can to be best in everything that they do.")
Humorous and heartfelt reflections include Abigail Adams's thoughts on partnership ("No man ever prospered in the world without the consent and cooperation of his wife."); Dolley Madison's attitude toward gossip ("It is one of my sources of happiness never to desire a knowledge of other people's business."); and Eleanor Roosevelt's comment on accountability ("It is often the people who refuse to assume any responsibility who are apt to be the sharpest critics of those who do.").

Anna Eleanor Roosevelt Roosevelt

Born October 11, 1884—Died November 7, 1962
32nd First Lady, 1933–1945

Regarding Anna Eleanor Roosevelt Roosevelt: genealogically speaking, as the daughter of Elliott Roosevelt, younger brother of Theodore, she was the latter’s niece; she was related to her husband Franklin as a fifth cousin, once removed—meaning a difference of one generation. She was reform-minded from a very young age, to some extent consciously emulating her Uncle Teddy. She always lived her activist principles, as was amply demonstrated in a myriad of ways: during World War I, by her activities on behalf of the American Red Cross and her volunteer work at Navy hospitals; championing the needs and rights of the disadvantaged—women, children, minorities, the poor; publicly and privately abhorring racial discrimination; and the list of her humanitarian achievements goes on and on. She was also a trusted political adviser and steadfast wife to her husband throughout the twelve years of her tenure as First Lady, when her special gifts were applied to great effect through two national crises: the Great Depression and World War II.

Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the campaign car so everybody can see the President.

[on being First Lady] It was hard for me to remember that I was not just “Eleanor Roosevelt,” but the “wife of the President.”

AND

There isn’t going to be any “First Lady of the land.” There is just going to be plain, ordinary Mrs. Roosevelt. . . . I never wanted to be the President’s wife, and I don’t want it now. You don’t quite believe me, do you? Very likely no one would—except possibly some woman who had had the job.

People can be brought to understand that an individual, even if she is a President’s wife, may have independent views . . . but actual participation in the work of government we are not yet able to accept.

I have the memory of an elephant. I can forgive, but I cannot forget.

It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.

It is often the people who refuse to assume any responsibility who are apt to be the sharpest critics of those who do.

Ambition is pitiless. Any merit that it cannot use it finds despicable.

A little simplification would be the first step toward rational living.

The giving of love is an education in itself.

One of the great secrets for making the most of one’s time and energy is to put yourself completely into what you are doing at the moment. Live in the present, not in what is yet to come.

Looks alone do not make one attractive. If you cultivate your mind and your spirit, you can have charm, which is far more important than looks.

The basic thing which contributes to charm is the ability to forget oneself and be engrossed in other people.

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it’s in hot water.

Self-pity and withdrawal from the battle are the beginning of misery.

Work is always an antidote to depression.

I think women are often superior to men in their intuition about people, in their executive ability when they are handling detailed work, and in their ability to subordinate themselves to a cause or to another individual if they think that is the way to serve a cause.

Women have one advantage over men. Throughout history they have been forced to make adjustments. The result is that, in most cases, it is less difficult for a woman to adapt to new situations than it is for a man.

The happy home will be the one in which the woman is not considering that her husband’s success is measured by his salary.

It is hard for a man to side against his mother even if he feels his wife is right.

I think if psychiatric care were available to all at small cost a great many people might obtain help when they found themselves faced with difficulties in their daily lives which now result in broken homes.

Teachers are more important than anything except parents in the lives of children.

Children, rich and poor, are the wealth of a nation. Their hands and their heads, as they grow to maturity, are going to determine what happens in every country in the world.

I believe very strongly that it is better to allow children too much freedom than too little.

We do not have the old-fashioned idea of making a child do a thing simply because he is told to do it. From his earliest days we teach him the reason back of what is asked of him.

For a child there is no wound deeper than that made by belittling laughter, and no wall more impenetrable than that built by habitual ridicule.

I would bend every effort if I were bringing up children today to teach them moderation in all things.

I don’t think children owe their parents any gratitude. It is love, not obligation, which brings about warm and happy relations within families.

The child who is aware that his parents do not tell him the truth will assume that the practical method is to lie. The child who sees his parents sacrifice everything for material possessions will not believe that spiritual values are important.

I think, at a child’s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity.

I wish I were young so that I did not have to consider so many sides of every subject. It is so much easier to be enthusiastic than to reason.

Too many of us stay walled up because we are afraid of being hurt. We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.

You must do the things you think you cannot do.

It isn’t enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn’t enough to believe in it. One must work at it.

I think the art of relaxing comes with self-discipline. You learn to assume a relaxed position, you learn to control your mind and stop it going around in circles.

The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.

Only those who love really live, in spite of the pain loving so often brings.

I would not judge a man’s character by his belief or unbelief. I would judge his character by his deeds; and no matter what he said about his beliefs, his behavior would soon show whether he was a man of good character or bad.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.

Unless we make of ourselves persons whom we like, with whom when occasion demands, we can live pleasantly in solitude, we are poorly equipped for social life in any community.

It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.

No one loves two people in exactly the same way, but one may love two people equally and yet differently. And if you love one person very much you will love another person perhaps even more because you have learned how to love and what love can mean.

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

Death is unnatural when it comes to the young, but with age it is normal and inevitable and, like everything else that has been inevitable in life, becomes easier to accept.

The most unhappy people in the world are those who face the days without knowing what to do with their time.

Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.

It is not more vacation we need—it is more vocation.

Nothing alive can stand still. Life is interesting only as long as it is a process of growth; or, to put it another way, we can grow only as long as we are interested.

I have only two remedies for weariness: one is change and the other is relaxation.

It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.

It is a pity that we cannot have the experience that comes with age in our younger days, when we really need it.

Unless time is good for something, it is good for nothing.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Without self-respect, few people are able to feel genuine respect for others.

If you will forget about yourself, whether or not you are making a good impression on people, what they think of you, and you will think about them instead, you won’t be shy.

The only things one can admire at length are those one admires without knowing why.

[an observation made at age fourteen] No matter how plain a woman may be, if truth and loyalty are stamped upon her face all will be attracted to her.

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper is that your guests are so pleased to feel how very much better they are.

One of the secrets of using your time well is to gain a certain ability to maintain peace within yourself so that much can go on around you and you can stay calm inside.

When life is too easy for us, we must beware or we may not be ready to meet the blows which sooner or later come to everyone, rich or poor.

If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.

Old age has deformities enough of its own. It should never add to them the deformity of vice.

Never allow a person to tell you no who doesn’t have the power to say yes.

Too little attention is paid to the passive sins, such as apathy and laziness, which in the long run can have a more devastating and destructive effect upon society than the others.

Because it is easier to say “I can’t” than “I can,” many people go through life unaware of untapped strength, even untapped ability.

It always seemed to me that there must be some kind of immortality, because it would be such a wasteful performance otherwise.

When will our consciences grow so tender that we will act to prevent human misery rather than avenge it?

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Elizabeth Virginia “Bess” Truman

Born February ...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Dedication
• Copyright Page
• Note
• Contents
• Martha Washington
• Abigail Adams
• Dolley Madison
• Louisa Adams
• Sarah Polk
• Mary Todd Lincoln
• Julia Grant
• Lucretia Garfield
• Caroline Harrison
• Edith Roosevelt
• Helen Taft
• Ellen Wilson
• Edith Wilson
• Florence Harding
• Grace Coolidge
• Lou Hoover
• Eleanor Roosevelt
• Bess Truman
• Mamie Eisenhower
• Jacqueline Kennedy
• Lady Bird Johnson
• Betty Ford
• Rosalynn Carter
• Nancy Reagan
• Barbara Bush
• Hillary Rodham Clinton
• Laura Bush
• Michelle Obama
• Index