Ambiguous Loss

Learning to Live with Unresolved Grief

Pauline Boss

• Publisher: Harvard University Press
• Year: 2009
• Print ISBN: 9780674003811, 9780674017382
• eBook ISBN: 9780674028586
• Topic: Psychology
• Subtopic: History & Theory in Psychology
• Index: Psychology

When a loved one dies we mourn our loss. We take comfort in the rituals that mark the passing, and we turn to those around us for support. But what happens when there is no closure, when a family member or a friend who may be still alive is lost to us nonetheless? How, for example, does the mother whose soldier son is missing in action, or the family of an Alzheimer's patient who is suffering from severe dementia, deal with the uncertainty surrounding this kind of loss?

In this sensitive and lucid account, Pauline Boss explains that, all too often, those confronted with such ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness. Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on. Drawing on her research and clinical experience, Boss suggests strategies that can cushion the pain and help families come to terms with their grief. Her work features the heartening narratives of those who cope with ambiguous loss and manage to leave their sadness behind, including those who have lost family members to divorce, immigration, adoption, chronic mental illness, and brain injury. With its message of hope, this eloquent book offers guidance and understanding to those struggling to regain their lives.

Table of contents

• Contents
• 1 Frozen Grief
• 2 Leaving without Goodbye
• 3 Goodbye without Leaving
• 4 Mixed Emotions
• 5 Ups and Downs
• 6 The Family Gamble
• 7 The Turning Point
• 8 Making Sense out of Ambiguity
• 9 The Benefit of a Doubt
• Notes
• Acknowledgments