Love 'Em or Lose 'Em

Getting Good People to Stay

Beverly Kaye, Sharon Jordan-Evans

• Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
• Year: 2014
• eBook ISBN: 9781609948863
• Edition: 5
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Human Resource Management
• Index: Business

NEW EDITION, REVISED AND UPDATEDSince employees who walk out the door cost their companies up to 200 percent of their annual salaries to replace, retention is one of the most important issues facing businesses today. And with so many surveys reporting that employees are unhappy and not working up to their full potential, engagement is a second serious and costly issue. The latest edition of this Wall Street Journal bestseller offers twenty-six simple strategies—from A to Z—that managers can use to address their employees' real concerns and keep them engaged. The fifth edition has been revised and updated throughout and includes many more international examples, reflecting the fact that Love 'Em or Lose 'Em is available in twenty-two languages, from Albanian and Arabic to Thai and Turkish. Its message is truly one that spans continents and cultures.

ONE

Ask
WHAT KEEPS YOU?

Ponder this: Do you know what they really want?

When do you think most leaders ask questions like “What can I do to keep you?”

You’re right: it’s in the exit interview. At that point it’s typically too late. The talented employee already has one foot out the door!

Have you ever wondered why we ask great questions in exit interviews but neglect to ask early enough to make a difference? Love ’em leaders do ask. They ask early and often, they listen carefully to the answers, and they link arms with their talent to help them get more of what they want, right where they are.

Conduct Stay Interviews

A crucial strategy for engaging and retaining talent is having conversations with every person you hope will stay on your team. We coined the term stay interview to describe those chats. If you hold stay interviews, you’ll have less regrettable turnover and fewer exit interviews!

When we suggest asking employees why they stay or what would keep them, we hear, “You’ve got to be kidding,” “Isn’t that illegal?” or “What if they give me an answer I don’t want to hear?” Managers dance around this core subject usually for one of three reasons:

• Some managers fear putting people on the spot or putting ideas into their heads (as if they never thought about leaving on their own).

• Some managers are afraid they will be unable to do anything anyway, so why ask? They fear that the question will raise more dust than they can settle and may cause employees to expect answers and solutions that are out of the managers’ hands.

• Some managers say they don’t have the time to have these critical one-on-one discussions with their talented people. There is an urgency to produce, leaving little time to listen, let alone ask. (If you don’t have time for these discussions with the people who contribute to your success, where will you find the time to interview, select, orient, and train their replacements?)

Guessing Is Risky

What if you don’t ask? What if you just keep trying to guess what Tara or Mike or Akina really wants? You will guess right sometimes. The year-end bonus might please them all. Money can inspire loyalty and commitment for the near term. But if the key to retaining Tara is to give her a chance to learn something new, whereas Mike wants to telecommute, how could you ever guess that? Ask—so you don’t have to guess.

Alas

A senior manager told us of an employee who was leaving his company. On her last day, the senior manager, who was upset at the loss, expressed his disappointment that she was leaving. He wished her well but said, “I wish there were something we could have done to keep you,” assuming that her direct supervisor had asked what would make her stay. But the supervisor hadn’t asked, and something could have been done. The employee said she would have stayed if she could have been more involved in some of the new task forces, as she felt the participation was vital to her goal of growing her career. It was a request that would have been easy to fill—if only he had known!

Asking has positive side effects. The person you ask will feel cared about, valued, and important. Many times asking leads to stronger loyalty and commitment to you and the organization. In other words, just asking the question is an effective engagement and retention strategy.

How to Ask

How and when do you bring up this topic? How can you increase the odds of getting honest input from your employees? There is no single way or time to ask. It could happen during a developmental or career discussion with your employees. (You do hold those, don’t you?) Or you might schedule a meeting with your valued employees for the express purpose of finding out what will keep them. One manager sent the following invitation to give his key people some time to think and to prepare for the conversation:

You are invited to attend . . .

. . . the next step in your continued development.
You make a difference and I value your contributions.
Let’s discuss some things that are important to you and me:

What will keep you here?

What might entice you away?

What is most energizing about your work?

Are we fully using your talents?

What is inhibiting your success?

What can I do differently to best assist you?

Please schedule a meeting with me within the next two weeks to discuss this and anything else you’d like to talk about.

Regardless of when you start this dialogue, remember to set the context by telling your employees how critical they are to you and your team and how important it is to you that they stay. Then find out what will keep them. Listen carefully to their responses.

He Dared to Ask

Charlie set up a meeting with his plant manager, Ken, for Monday morning. After some brief conversation about the weekend activities, Charlie said, “Ken, you are critical to me and to this organization. I’m not sure I’ve told you that directly or often enough. But you are. I can’t imagine losing you. So, I’d like to know what will keep you here. And what might entice you away?”

Ken was a bit taken aback—but felt flattered. He thought for a moment and then said, “You know, I aspire to move up in the organization at some point, and I’d love to have some exposure to the senior team. I’d like to see how they operate, and frankly I’d like them to get to know me, too.” Charlie responded, “I could take you with me to some senior staff meetings. Would that be a start?” Ken said, “That would be great.”

Charlie delivered on Ken’s request one week later.

What If—

What If You Can’t Give What They Want?

Most managers don’t ask because they fear one of two responses: a request for a raise or a promotion. They might not be able to deliver on those kinds of requests. Then what?

Next time a talented employee asks for something you think you might not be able to give, respond by using these four steps:

1. Restate how much you value them.

2. Tell the truth about the obstacles you face in granting their requests.

3. Show you care enough to look into their requests and to stand up for them.

4. Ask, “What else?”

Here’s how the discussion between Charlie and Ken could have gone if Ken had asked for a raise.

Following Charlie’s question about what will keep him, Ken replied immediately, “A 20 percent raise will do it!” Now, some managers will say things like “Are you kidding? You’re already at the top of your pay range.” That response shuts down the dialogue and makes a key employee feel less than key. Charlie was ready for this possibility, though. Here is how he could have responded to Ken’s request for a raise, using the four-step process.

1. “You are worth that and more to me.

2. I’d love to say yes, but I will need to investigate the possibility. I’m honestly not sure what I can do immediately, given some recent budget cuts.

3. But I hear your request. I’ll run this up the flag pole and get back to you by next Friday with some answers and a possible time line for a raise.

4. Meanwhile, Ken, what else matters to you? What else are you hoping for?”

Ken might have responded with his interest in getting to know the senior team— and Charlie was ready to act on that one immediately.

Research shows clearly that people want more from work than just a paycheck. When you ask the question “What else?” we guarantee there will be at least one thing your talented employee wants that you can give. Remember to listen actively as your employees talk about what will keep them on your team or in your organization.

GO TO
________________
Understand
page 206

What If You Ask What They Want and They Say, “I Don’t Know?”

Remember that this is not an interrogation—it’s a conversation, and hopefully one in an ongoing series of conversations. It’s okay not to know. Some people will be surprised by your questioning and need some time to think about it. Let them think, schedule another meeting, and set the stage for an ongoing dialogue about your employees’ wants, needs, and career goals. Engaging and keeping your talent is a process, not an event.

What If They Don’t Trust You Enough to Answer Honestly?

Discussions like these build trust. Ironically, discussions like these require trust. If your employees are afraid to answer your questions for any reason, you may need to build a trusting relationship with them before you can expect honest, heartfelt responses. Try to discover why trust is missing in the relationship, and purposely act in trust-building ways. Seek help from colleagues, human resource professionals, or coaches.

What If They Question Your Motivation or Smile and Say, “What Book Have You Just Read?”

Be honest. If you’re not in the habit of having dialogues like these, it could feel strange—for you and perhaps for them. Tell them you did read a book or attend a course about engaging talent, and you did it because they matter to you. Tell them you honestly want to hear their answers and you want to partner with them to help them get what they want and need. You might even choose to admit that the love ’em approach sometimes feels awkward, even uncomfortable (like a new pair of shoes). That “name it to claim it,” forthright action can be just what’s needed to build trust with the talent you hope will stay and play on your team.

To Do

Ask each employee what will keep him or her at your company or your department.

Make a note in your computer or smartphone for every employee’s answer.

Every month, review the notes and a...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• A Proven Approach to Leading
• How to Read This Book
• 1 Ask What Keeps You?
• 2 Buck It Stops Here
• 3 Careers Support Growth
• 4 Dignity Show Respect
• 5 Enrich Energize the Job
• 6 Family Get Friendly
• 7 Goals Expand Options
• 8 Hire Fit is It
• 9 Information Share It
• 10 Jerk Don’t be One
• 11 Kicks Get Some
• 12 Link Create Connections
• 13 Mentor be One
• 14 Numbers Run Them
• 15 Opportunities Mine Them
• 16 Passion Encourage It
• 17 Question Reconsider the Rules
• 18 Reward Provide Recognition
• 19 Space Give It
• 20 Truth Tell It
• 21 Understand Listen Deeper
• 22 Values Define and Align
• 23 Wellness Sustain It
• 24 X-ers and others Handle with Care
• 25 Yield Power Down
• 26 Zenith go for It
• Calling All Managers of Managers
• Notes
• Acknowledgments
• Index
• About the Authors
• Beyond the Book