Networking for People Who Hate Networking

A Field Guide for Introverts, the Overwhelmed, and the Underconnected

Devora Zack

• Publisher: Berrett-Koehler Publishers
• Year: 2010
• eBook ISBN: 9781605099415
• Topic: Business
• Subtopic: Business Skills
• Index: Business

Shows how the networking-averse can succeed by working with the very traits that make them hate traditional networkingWritten by a proud introvert who is also an enthusiastic networkerIncludes field-tested tips and techniques for virtually any situation Are you the kind of person who would rather get a root canal than face a group of strangers? Does the phrase "working a room" make you want to retreat to yours? Does traditional networking advice seem like it's in a foreign language?Devora Zack, an avowed introvert and a successful consultant who speaks to thousands of people every year, feels your pain. She found that most networking advice books assume that to succeed you have to become an outgoing, extraverted person. Or at least learn how to fake it. Not at all. There is another way.This book shatters stereotypes about people who dislike networking. They're not shy or misanthropic. Rather, they tend to be reflective—they think before they talk. They focus intensely on a few things rather than broadly on a lot of things. And they need time alone to recharge. Because they've been told networking is all about small talk, big numbers and constant contact, they assume it's not for them.But it is! Zack politely examines and then smashes to tiny fragments the "dusty old rules" of standard networking advice. She shows how the very traits that ordinarily make people networking-averse can be harnessed to forge an approach that is just as effective as more traditional approaches, if not better. And she applies it to all kinds of situations, not just formal networking events. After all, as she says, life is just one big networking opportunity—a notion readers can now embrace.Networking enables you to accomplish the things that are important to you. But you can't adopt a style that goes against who you are—and you don't have to. "I have never met a person who did not benefit tremendously from learning how to network—on his or her own terms", Zack writes. "You do not succeed by denying your natural temperament; you succeed by working with your strengths."

index

A

Ability vs. preference, 104

acceptance, networking opportunities, 96

action bingo, 138

activity, networking preferences for extroverts, 36

airplane anecdotes, 118–121

ally, attending networking event with, 62

appearance, checking prior to networking event, 63

approachability, at networking events, 65

arm folding exercise, 82–84

“as if” reframes exercise, 129–131

assessment, 11–19

interconnectivity, 19

mental elasticity, 12–13

Notes From the Field: breakfast networking, 12

reactions to results, 17–18

strength of preference, 16–19

Take Action! personal inventory to thrive, 90–93

temperament questionnaire, 14–15

associations, name recollection, 140

attending network events, forcing yourself, 60–70

attention, name recollection, 140

attire for networking event, 61–63, 65

auditorhy approach to name recollection, 141

B

balanced approach to life, as outcome goals element, 149

behavior. See also specific networking behaviors and choices.

behaving out of type, platinum rule, 81–86

of lively introverts, 135

Take Action! “as if” reframes, 129–131

bingo, 138

Blink: The Power of

Thinking Without

Thinking (Gladwell), 103

brainstorming, 134–135

breakfast networking, 12

breaks for recharging, at networking events, 66–67

breath, checking prior to networking event, 63

business cards, 64, 67

business travel, 117–131

airplane anecdotes, 118–121

Notes From the Field: e-mail, 119

Notes From the Field: lunch, 122

pace, 124–125

pause, 118–122

planning for I-time, 122–124

process, 122–124

reframing, 124

Take Action! “as if” reframes, 129–131

Take Action! making conversation, 125–129

C

calibration, 114

calm, networking preferences for introverts, 36

catastrophic thinking, 40–41

centroverts. See also sparkling new rules for networking; specific topics.

assessment of preference, 14–19

behaviors of, 23

defined, 16

classes networking opportunities, 95

silence in, Notes From the Field, 52

clothing and attire for networking event, 61–63, 65

cognitive dissonance, name recollection, 142–143

colleague, attending networking event with, 62

collecting others, as extrovert approach, 36, 50–51

comfort zone, for introverts, 27–29

comments, making conversation, 128

companion, attending networking event with, 62

connecting with others fo...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Dedication
• Contents
• Introduction This Book Is Required Reading
• One Welcome to Your Field Guide
• Two Assess Yourself
• Three The Destruction of Stereotypes
• Four Why We Hate to Network
• Five Sparkling New Rules That Work
• Six Networking Event Survival Kit
• Seven Good-bye Golden Rule
• Eight Networking Without a Net
• Nine The Job Search
• Ten Business Travel
• Eleven Creating Events That Work for All
• Twelve Defining Outcomes, Achieving Goals
• Conclusion See Ya Later, Alligator
• Acknowledgments
• About Only Connect Consulting
• Index
• Your Fearless Author