Gargantua and Pantagruel

Francois Rabelais

• Publisher: Dover Publications
• Year: 2017
• ISBN:
  9780486820798
• Topic: Literatura
• Subtopic: Clásicos

First published in four volumes between 1532 and 1552, Rabelais' comic masterpiece chronicles the adventures of a giant, Gargantua, and his son, Pantagruel. More than four centuries later, the terms "gargantuan" and "Rabelaisian" are synonymous with earthy humor, a surfeit of good food and drink, and pleasures of the flesh.
This series of exaggerated fables was condemned upon its initial publication by the censors of the Collège de la Sorbonne. But beneath their bawdy, often scatological wit, the tales bear a deeper significance as the author's defense of daring and groundbreaking ideas. Using his ribald humor, Rabelais addresses timeless issues of education, politics, and philosophy. His parodies of classic authors as well as his own contemporaries offer a hilarious exposé of human folly and an enduring satire of history, literature, religion, and culture. This edition features the classic translation by Sir Thomas Urquhart and Pierre le Motteux.

THE THIRD BOOK

OF THE WORKS OF
MR. FRANCIS RABELAIS,
DOCTOR IN PHYSICK

CONTAINING THE HEROICK DEEDS OF PANTAGRUEL, THE SON OF GARGANTUA

FRANCIS RABELAIS TO THE SOUL OF THE DECEASED QUEEN OF NAVARRE

ABSTRACTED Soul, ravish’d with extasies,

Gone back, and now familiar in the Skies.

Thy former Host, thy Body, leaving quite,

Which to obey thee always took delight;

Obsequious, ready. Now from motion free,

Senseless, and as it were, in Apathy.

Wouldst thou not issue forth, for a short space,

From that Divine, Eternal, Heavenly place,

To see the third part, in this earthly Cell,

Of the brave Acts of good Pantagruel.

THE AUTHORS PROLOGUE

GOOD People, most Illustrious Drinkers, and you thrice precious gouty Gentlemen. Did you ever see Diogenes the Cynick Philosopher, if you have seen him, you then had your Eyes in your Head, or I am very much out of my Understanding and Logical Sense. It is a gallant thing to see the clearness of (Wine, Gold) the Sun. I’ll be judged by the blind-born, so renowned in the Sacred Scriptures; who having at his choice to ask whatever he would from Him who is Almighty, and whose Word in an Instant is effectually performed, asked nothing else but that he might see. Item you are not young, which is a competent Quality for you to Philosophat more than Physically in Wine (not in vain) and henceforwards to be of the Bacchick Council; to the end that opining there, you may give your Opinion faithfully of the Substance, Colour, excellent Odour, Eminency, Propriety, Faculty, Vertue, and effectual Dignity of the said blessed and desired Liquor.

If you have not seen him (as I am easily induced to believe that you have not) at least you have heard some talk of him. For through the Air, and the whole extent of this Hemisphere of the Heavens, hath his Report and Fame, even until this present time, remained very memorable and renowned. Then all of you are derived from the Phrygian Blood (if I be not deceived). If you have not so many Crowns as Midas had, yet have you something (I know not what) of him, which the Persians of old esteemed more of in all their Otacusts, and which was more desired by the Emperor Antonine; and gave occasion thereafter to the Basilisco at Rohan to be Surnamed Goodly ears. If you have not heard of him, I will presently tell you a Story to make your Wine relish: Drink then, so, to the purpose; hearken now whilst I give you notice (to the end that you may not, like Infidels be by your simplicity abused) that in his time he was a rare Philosopher, and the chearfullest of a thousand: If he had some Imperfection, so have you, so have we; for there is nothing (but God) that is perfect: Yet so it was, that by Alexander the Great (altho’ he had Aristotle for his Instructor and Domestick) was he held in such Estimation, that he wish’d, if he had not been Alexander, to have been Diogenes the Sinopian.

When Philip King of Macedon enterprised the Siege and Ruine of Corinth, the Corinthians having received certain Intelligence by their Spies, that he with a numerous Army in Battle Rank was coming against them, were all of them (not without cause) most terribly afraid; and therefore were not neglective of their Duty, in doing their best Endeavours to put themselves in a fit posture to resist his Hostile Approach, and defend their own City.

Some from the Fields brought into the Fortify’d Places their Movables, Bestial, Corn, Wine, Fruit, Victuals, and other necessary Provision.

Others did fortifie and rampire their Walls, set up little Fortresses, Bastions, squared Ravelins, digged Trenches, cleansed Countermines, fenced themselves with Gabions, contrived Platforms, emptied Casemates, barricado’d the false Brayes, erected the Cavalliers, repaired the Contrescarfes, plaister’d the Courtines, lengthned Ravelins, stopt Parapets, mortaised Barbacans, assured the Port-culleys, fasten’d the Herses, Sarasinesks and Cata-racks, placed their Centries, and doubled their Patrouille.

Every one did watch and ward, and not one was exempted from carrying the Basket.

Some polish’d Corselets, varnish’d Backs and Breasts, clean’d the Head-pices, Mail-Coats, Brigandins, Salads, Helmets, Murrions, Jacks, Gushets, Gorgets, Hoguines, Brassars and Cuissars, Corseletts, Haubergeons, Shields, Bucklers, Targuets, Greves, Gantlets and Spurs.

Others made ready Bows, Slings, Cross-bows, Pellets, Catapults, Migrames or Fire-balls, Firebrands, Balists, Scorpions, and other such Warlike Engines expugnatorie, and destructive to the Hellepolists.

They sharpned and prepared Spears, Staves, Pikes, Brown Bills, Halberts, Long Hooks, Lances, Zagages, Quarterstaves, Eelspears, Partisans, Troutstaves, Clubs, Battle-axes, Maces, Darts, Dartlets, Glaves, Javelins, Javelots, and Trunchions.

They set Edges upon Cimeters, Cutlasses, Badelans, Backswords, Tucks, Rapiers, Bayonets, Arrow-heads, Dags, Daggers, Mandousians, Poigniards, Whinyards, Knives, Skenes, Sables, Chipping Knives, and Raillons.

Every Man exercis’d his Weapon, every Man scowr’d off the Rust from his natural Hanger: Nor was there a Woman amongst them (tho’ never so reserv’d or old) who made not her Harnish to be well furbish’d; as you know the Corinthian Women of old were reputed very couragious Combatants.

Diogenes seeing them all so warm at work, and himself not employed by the Magistrates in any business whatsoever, he did very seriously (for many days together, without speaking one Word) consider, and contemplate the Countenance of his Fellow-Citizens.

Then on a sudden, as if he had been roused up and inspired by a Martial Spirit, he girded his Cloak, scarf-ways, about his Left Arm, tucked up his Sleeves to the Elbow, trussed himself like a Clown gathering Apples, and giving to one of his old Acquaintance his Wallet, Books, and Opistographs, away went he out of Town towards a little Hill or Promontory of Corinth called Cranie; and there on the Strand, a pretty level place, did he roul his Jolly Tub, which serv’d him for an House to shelter him from the Injuries of the Weather: There, I say, in a great Vehemency of Spirit, did he turn it, veer it, wheel it, whirl it, frisk it, jumble it, shuffle it, huddle it, tumble it, hurry it, joult it, justle it, overthrow it, evert it, invert it, subvert it, overturn it, beat it, thwack it, bump it, batter it, knock it, thrust it, push it, jerk it, shock it, shake it, toss it, throw it, overthrow it up-side down, topsiturvy, arsiturvy, tread it, trample it, stamp it, tap it, ting it, ring it, tingle it, towl it, sound it, resound it, stop it, shut it, unbung it, close it, unstopple it. And then again in a mighty bustle he bandy’d it, slubber’d it, hack’d it, whitled it, way’d it, darted it, hurled it, stagger’d it, reel’d it, swindg’d it, brangled it, totter’d it, lifted it, heav’d it, transformed it, transfigur’d it, transpos’d it, transplaced it, reared it, raised it, hoised it, washed it, dighted it, cleansed it, rinsed it, nailed it, setled it, fastned it, shackled it, fetter’d it, level’d it, block’d it, tugg’d it, tew’d it, carry’d it, bedash’d it, beray’d it, parch’d it, mounted it, broach’d it, nick’d it, notch’d it, bespatter’d it, deck’d it, adorn’d it, trimmed it, garnished it, gaged it, furnish’d it, boar’d it, pierc’d it, trap’d it, rumbled it, slid it down the Hill, and precipitated it from the very height of the Cranie; then from the foot to the top (like another Sisyphus with his Stone) bore it up again, and every way so bang’d it and belabour’d it, that it was ten thousand to one he had not struck the bottom of it out.

Which when one of his Friends had seen, and asked him why he did so toil his Body, perplex his Spirit, and torment his Tub? The Philosopher’s Answer was, That not being employed in any other Charge by the Republick, he thought it expedient to thunder and storm it so tempestuously upon his Tub, that amongst a People so fervently busie, and earnest at work, he alone might not seem a loytering Slug and lasie Fellow. To the same Purpose may I say of my self,

Tho’ I be rid from Fear,

I am not void of Care.

For perceiving no Account to be made of me towards the Discharge of a Trust of any great Concernment, and considering that through all the parts of this most noble Kingdom of France, both on this and the other side of the Mountains, every one is most diligently exercised and busied; some in the fortifying of their own Native Country, for its Defence; others, in the repulsing of their Enemies by an Offensive War; and all this with a Policy so excellent, and such admirable Order, so manifestly profitable for the future, whereby France shall have its Frontiers most magnifically enlarged, and the Frenches assured of a long and well-grounded Peace, that very little withholds me from the Opinion of good Heraclitus, which affirmeth War to be the Father of all good things; and therefore do I believe that War is in Latin called Bellum, not by Antiphrasis, as some Patchers of old rusty Latin would have us to think; because in War there is little Beauty to be seen, but absolutely and simply; for that in War appeareth all that is good and graceful, and that by the Wars is purged out all manner of Wickedness and Deformity. For Proof whereof, the wise and pacifick Solomon could no better represent the unspeakable Perfection of the Divine Wisdom, than by comparing it to the due Disposure and Ranking of an Army in Battle Array, well provided and ordered.

Therefore by reason of my Weakness and Inability, being reputed by my Compatriots unfit for the Offensive part of Warfare; and on the other side, being no way employed in matter of the Defensive, although it had been but to carry Burthens, fill Ditches, or break Clods, either whereof had been to me indifferent, I held it not a little disgraceful to be only an Idle Spectator of so many valorous, eloquent and warlike Persons, who in the view and sight of all Europe act this notable Interlude or Tragicomedy, and not make some Effort towards the Performance of this, nothing at all remains for me to be done. In my Opinion, little Honour is due to such as are meer Lookers on, liberal of their Eyes, and of their Purse parsimonious; who conceal their Crowns, and hide their Silver, scratching their Head with one Finger like grumbling Puppies, gaping at the Flies like Tithe Calves; clapping down their Ears like Arcadian Asses at the Melody of Musicians, who with their very Countenances in the depth of silence express their Consent to the Prosopopeie.

Having made this Choice and Election, it seem’d to me that my Exercise therein would be neither unprofitable nor troublesom to any, whilst I should thus set a-going my Diogenical Tub, which is all that is left me safe from the Shipwrack of my former Misfortunes.

At this dingle dangle wagging of my Tub, what would you have me to do? By the Virgin that tucks up her Sleeve, I know not as yet: Stay a little till I suck up a Draught of this Bottle; it is my true and only Helicon; it is my Caballine Fountain; it is my sole Entousiasm. Drinking thus I meditate, discourse, resolve and conclude. After that the Epilogue is made, I laugh, I write, I compose, and drink again. Ennius drinking wrote, and writing, drank. Æschylus (if Plutarch in his Symposiaes merit any Faith) drank composing, and drinking, composed. Homer never wrote fasting, and Cato never wrote till after he had drunk. These Passages I have brought before you, to the end you may not say that I live without the Example of Men well praised, and better prised. It is good and fresh enough, even (as if...