Does My Bomb Look Big in This?

Nyla Levy

• Publisher: Methuen Drama
• Year: 2019
• Print ISBN: 9781350134607
• eBook ISBN: 9781350134621
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Media & Performing Arts
• Subtopic: British Drama

Yasmin Sheikh feels torn in the city she used to call home, but Aisha sees a different London to her best friend. When Yasmin suddenly disappears to Syria, Aisha embarks on a mission to uncover the truth and decide whether there is any hope in Yasmin's new-found world. First conceived in 2016 after being cast in roles as a 'jihadi bride' or 'terrorist girlfriend' and generally dissatisfied with the narrative being told, Nyla Levy ran research workshops with school children and interviewed muslim community leaders as well as terrorism defence solicitor Tasnime Akunjee. The result voices the complexities of the choices made by disaffected youth, their vulnerability, and how the decisions made can changes lives, communities and countries forever. With fierce wit and disarming honesty, Does My Bomb Look Big in This? cleverly unveils a human story behind the headlines and questions how close or far we are from multicultural harmony.

Scene One

Results Day – 18 August 2016

Lights down on stage: BBC News intro music begins playing.

News Reporter enters, prepares to go live. Vocal warm-up. TV pout face etc.

News ReporterGood morning, and thank you for joining us today as the nation wakes up on GCSE results day. This is a monumental day which hundreds and thousands of students across the UK have been waiting for. But one student who won’t be collecting her results today is Yasmin Sheikh, the schoolgirl who has caused quite some controversy in recent weeks, with the Home Secretary dubbing her ‘Terror Baby’.

As you can see I am outside her school, Mitcham High, who have refused to comment on the situation. There is a noticeable police presence today. However, the general atmosphere here, as her peers begin to gather, is filled with the usual anticipation and excitement of any other school on results day. But the question still remains: will Yasmin Sheikh, the South London schoolgirl, be coming home?

Aisha enters and finds her envelope on the table.

News ReporterWe’ll be reporting back within the hour. Until then, back to you in the studio.

News Reporter takes earpiece out.

News Reporter exits.

AishaI dunno why they’re filmin this? She ain’t here so, what’s the point? I dunno what’s goin on today. I’m just ganna tell you everything I know about Yasmin // leaving so you see for you.

Morgan// Why bovva? She ain’t comin back . . .

AishaMorgan. . .!

MorganWhat? Said in the papers ‘no sign of Terror Baby’.

AishaShh!

MorganWhat?

AishaDon’t call her that . . .

MorganWhat? Terror Bab –

AishaShhhh! Morgan can you just go?

MorganYou’re so borin man . . . (Eying up Aisha’s envelope.) Oi, what d’you get?

AishaDidn’t look yet.

MorganNeither. Waitin till I’m in the park init, can’t be near the feds when I crack this open . . .

She gives Aisha a peek at a bottle of Smirnoff in her bag.

Aisha’K . . .

Morgan snatches Aisha’s results out of her hands.

Aisha// Give it back!

Morgan// Shiiit . . . Glad I never copied off you!

AishaPiss off.

MorganYou’re the one who’ll be needin to get pissed. Sure you don’t want some of this?

Aisha// No!

Morgan// Ah nah wait it’s halal ain’t it? Or haram? Wot d’you lot say, haram/halal/halal/haram?

AishaMorgan seriously shut up sayin those words!

MorganWhy? Is it haram to say halal?

AishaIt’s not a fuckin joke! They’ll stick me on the programme okay?!

MorganOhmydayz you’re such a buzz killington. N e way wotevz. After this assembly I’m gettin mash up . . .

She exits.

Aisha (to audience) Oh yeh we’re having some big leavers talk but they’ve got the paparazzi and police here so it’s just a bit weird . . . Look I’m just ganna tell you everything I know in case somethin happens okay?

Morgan re-enters.

MorganWhatd’you mean?

AishaThought you’d gone?

MorganWhat you talking about ‘somethin happenin’ to you?

AishaShh!

MorganTell me or I’ll start Allahuakbar-ing –

AishaNo.

MorganALLAAAA –

AishaFine! Just sit down an’ shut up.

Morgan sits.

Aisha (to audience) I just know . . . The school have their (whispers the word ‘Prevent’) Prevent ‘quotas’ to fill . . . If you get wot I’m saying . . .

MorganWell I ain’t shook, I didn’t do nuffin . . .

AishaActually. . . Thinkin about it . . . You’re to blame for half ...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• About the Writer
• Writer's Note
• Thank You
• Tamasha
• Creative Team
• Contents
• Scene One
• Scene Two
• eCopyright