Saying Goodbye

• Publisher: Wild Goose Publications
• Year: 2014
• ISBN:
  9781849522922
• Topic: Teología y religión
• Subtopic: Rituales cristianos y práctica

A resource book for anyone who is planning a funeral. You may be a family member or a friend of someone who has died. You may be planning your own funeral. You may arrange and conduct funerals professionally. Here you will find an abundance of words and ideas for celebrating a life in ways that are personal and honest.

Funerals of adults

Funeral at a crematorium

Music

Scripture passages: spoken as people walk in carrying the coffin; not all the passages will be used:

God’s love is not exhausted, nor has God’s compassion failed. (Lamentations 3:22)

God cares for you, so cast all your anxiety on God. (1 Peter 5:7)

God is our refuge and our strength, a very present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)

Peace is my parting gift to you: my own peace, such as the world cannot give. Set your troubled hearts at rest, and banish your fears. (John 14:27)

I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had vanished. I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God … and I heard a loud voice proclaiming: ‘Now God has his home with humankind. He will dwell among them and they shall be his people and God himself will be with them. He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes. There shall be an end to death, and to mourning and crying and pain, for the old order has passed away.’ (Revelation 21:1–4)

Opening:

Friends, we are here to mourn and celebrate the life of N.

We have a job to do today, and a longer task to get underway.

First, to acknowledge the shock of N’s death.

Then we should take the time and space we need to say goodbye.

We seek the Good News of God at work in the ____ years

it was given to John to share with us.

And then we seek to find healing and peace

to enable the bereavement process to move on.

Let us share the quiet of this place …

Let us pray:

Enfold us, Lord, within your comforting arms.

Help us to feel at home, even though we are hurting.

Help us to know that we are not alone,

that we need have no fear of being human,

of showing how we feel,

for you know the pain of our loss.

Enfold us with courage.

Help us not to hold back the questions, the hurt or confusion.

May we know that through your grace

we may find rest within the circle of your love.

Hymn or song

Reflection by a family member or a friend

Reading/s from scripture

Address

Prayers for those who grieve:

Almighty and intimate God, you start where we are:

with doubts, with faith, with anger, with resignation,

and you surprise us when you accept in us

what we cannot even acknowledge to ourselves.

You know us better than we know ourselves,

and, by your grace, all things may be healed.

So we pray:

Make your peace

in us and amongst us,

that we ourselves may be made whole,

through Jesus Christ,

our Saviour and our friend.

Silence

Help us to confess any hurt or wrong we feel we have done to N,

or to let go of any hurt or wrong we feel she/he has done to us.

Help us to know that we are forgiven, that we need carry burdens no longer,

for Christ calls us to forgive others and to forgive ourselves, for God forgives us.

Silence

Living, loving God, give us joy deeper than sorrow

as we thank you for all your children,

and especially for N,

whom we now commit into your care and keeping,

knowing that she/he is safe and surrounded by the warmth of your love.

Silence

Let us pray for N’s family and friends, and for all who cared for N.

May they be enabled to grieve now, but not as those without hope.

For you offer peace, joy, healing:

gifts that no one, and no grief, can take away.

Help us to cope with the pain and to remember with joy.

Though we may feel very alone – God is with us.

Though we may feel overwhelmed – God is with us.

Though we may wonder how we will cope – God is with us.

God is in our past and in our future,

in our fears and in our hopes,

in our tears and in our laughter.

God surrounds us and enfolds us with love, light and peace.

We trust that beyond absence there is a presence.

That beyond the pain there can be healing.

That beyond the brokenness there can be wholeness.

That beyond the anger there may be peace.

The Lord’s Prayer (said together; allow for a variety of forms)

Poem

Hymn or song

Committal:

Invite people to come and lay a hand on N’s coffin to say goodbye.

After all have come, lay a hand on the coffin and say:

So we send you forth, N,

upon your journey from this world:

set free in the love of God the life-giver,

in the compassion of Jesus,

who walks with you,

in the power of the Holy Spirit,

who enfolds you and us

here and now.

God of all hope –

living God above us, beneath us, behind us and before us –

having commended our friend N to your care,

we commit her/his body to be cremated –

earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust –

placing our trust and confidence

in the mercy and love of God

and in the solidarity and new life of his Son Jesus Christ,

our Lord who died,

was buried

and rose again

to live for us.

And we take comfort in the Holy Spirit

who is with us here and now,

and in all that lies ahead.

Lord, we do not know whether our days will be many or few.

Help us to put into each day’s living something of worth and kindness,

integrity, courage and love.

These are the signs of your Spirit at work among us.

So Lord, we hold out to you all who have gathered here today.

May those who have suffered loss know the comfort of friendship and love.

And may this time of grief and mourning lead to a time of healing and peace.

For with you all shall be wel...