1
Iām Pedaling as Fast as I Can, But Itās Not Fast Enough!
11 The California Zephyr was at full speed when Pete verbalized the thoughts he was having about what Kip had just said. āI agree accountability is a big issue, but I donāt think you can get people to be accountable without sensible controls in place.
āKip, if youāre suggesting in any way that I should ease up on my managers and staff, youāre crazy. And Iām not saying this to be tough. Iām saying it to be realistic. I have no experience that suggests that giving up control will get me or my company to the finish line.ā Pete realized that he might be coming on a little too strong, but he needed to let Kip know that he wasnāt from the āletās all hold handsā school of leadership.
āPete, at one point in my career Iād have agreed with you,ā said Kip. āIn fact, it literally took a heart attack to change my mind on the whole subject. Before that life-changing event, I prided myself on being a tough, but fair, boss. I thought leadership meant that you played the game like the legendary Lone Rangerāfighting the bad guys single-handedly. I was just fifty-three years old and the CEO of National Stores. Perhaps youāve heard of them?ā
Pete answered. āOf course Iāve heard of National Stores. We have one in the mall near our house.ā12
Kip continued. āLike the Lone Ranger, I was playing the only role I knew how to playāthe guy with all the silver bullets! I was the visionary leader with the white ten-gallon hat, full of my own self-importance. I was the main man.
āPete,ā Kip added with a smirk, āI was full of it! I was on top of the heap yet shaking in my boots for fear that the bubble would burst at any moment. I was secretly miserable and afraid to admit my fears, even to my wife until my heart attack.ā
āWhatās this about a heart attack?ā asked Pete with concern.
āWell, Iād been CEO of National Stores for about three years after a thirty-year climb to the top. I was working between eighty and one hundred hours per week and was on the road constantly. My wife and family had become strangers to me. I was missing the best years of my life and didnāt even know it. When I wasnāt visiting one of our stores trying to put out a fire, I was negotiating with our bankers to restructure our debt.
āPete, I had so many balls in the air, I couldnāt see the sky let alone smell the roses. I was out of touch and in a tailspin.ā
āIt sounds like more of a death spiral to me,ā commiserated Pete with a laugh. He realized now that he was not alone and that Kip had survived the ordealāmaybe he would, too.
Kip didnāt miss a beat. āLike you, I was under a great deal of pressure from our board to improve our companyās slumping performance.ā Kip recognized that what he was saying was having an impact on the younger man.
āYour story sounds all too familiar,ā said Pete uncomfortably.
āHopefully, this part of my story youāll never experience.ā Taking a deeper breath, Kip paused. This was hard for him to talk about. āIt was on a Monday morning, twenty-one years ago in early November. I was getting out of bed when I felt chest pains. It felt like an NFL linebacker was sitting on meāI was suffocating. Iād just had my company physical, and the doctor had asked me some pointed questions that Iād blown off.
āLooking back, I can see he was asking me if I needed help, but I didnāt hear himāI wasnāt listening. My test results were marginal. Thatās another way of saying, āHello, youāre on thin ice.ā The numbers indicated that I was a middle-aged guy whose body was showing the effects of a lot of stress. But I thought I was Superman.ā13
Pete knew exactly what Kip was talking about. āYeah, my wife is always on my case about taking some time for me. I used to love to run, but since my knee surgery, itās been hard to find the time to work out.ā
Kip nodded and went on. āWell, that morning my wife, who normally would have already been on her way to work, was still home. She must have sensed something. I insisted that it was just indigestion, but she called 911 anywayāthank goodness! I donāt know what would have happened if Iād been in some lonely hotel room or the only one at home that morning.
āLucky for me, the attack was a mild one. But before I was released from the hospital, my doctor was blunt. No, he was brutal. He said, āEither change your lifestyle or plan on an early grave.ā That got my attention!ā
āI imagine it would,ā said Pete with a grimace. āI must admit that Iām beginning to be concerned with my pace and whether I can keep it up forever. Sometimes Iām not sure I can pedal any faster.ā
Kip nodded in understanding and went on. āThe business depended on me, or at least I thought so at the time. And frankly, I didnāt see anyone on my staff who was ready to take on my responsibilities, let alone the pressures. More important, I wasnāt ready to let go because I loved being in charge. Yet I knew if I didnāt give my staff the freedom to help me carry the load, the job would kill me. I knew this, but I had no alternative. At least, thatās what I thought at the time.
āPete, something had to give, and it was me. My heart attack had forced me into a dilemma: Either hold onto control and face the consequences to my health, or give my staff the reins.ā
āSo what did you do?ā asked Pete.
āWell, first, I went through the denial phase,ā explained Kip. āThen I got angry, like it was the darn doctorās fault. But I eventually realized that if I had problems, it was me who would have to change. So hereās what I did. About a week after I got out of the hospital, I called my executive team together at my home and explained my situation.14
āI told my staff things needed to change, and, more important, I needed to change. I said that the biggest changes needed to come from me, not from them. Frankly, Pete, at that point, I had nothing to lose; I was already losing my business, I was losing my health, and, worst of all, I was losing my family. I admitted that I didnāt know if I could give up control. I admitted my vulnerabilities to the men and women who had depended on me.
āEvery one of them reacted in a way I hadnāt expected. They already knew! I mean, they knew I was in a death spiral. The only surprise to them was that I had lasted as long as I had.ā
For some reason, Pete thought this was funny and laughed. āKip, I couldnāt help but laugh. If what you are telling me wasnāt so serious, it would be funny.ā
Kip nodded and smiled. āYouāre absolutely right. Looking back on the whole mess that I had created makes me want to laugh and cry. But at the time, I was taking myself pretty seriously.
āI asked my people why theyād never spoken to me about it. And do you know what they said? They were afraid of me. They were afraid of my anger and afraid of being fired.
āThey knew what needed to be done at work and knew how to address many of the recurring problems, but they were afraid to share them with me. At that moment I realized that I was both the problem and the solution.
āThe problem was my controlling behavior, and the solution was to let go of control. But letting go of control was totally alien to me. My challenge was to trust the people around me, something that was not natural for me.
The problem was my controlling behavior, and the solution was to let go of control.
āOf course, thatās what shouldāve happened years earlier. But I had learned from my boss, and he had learned from his. The only role models I had were control freaks. And I was the best control freak you ever saw.ā15
āFunny you say that,ā said Pete. āThat phrase keeps coming up all around my company. Our people take pride in being control freaks. I think itās kind of crazy, but it seems to be the rule.ā
Kip nodded in understanding. āPete, we would literally have gone out of business, not because we didnāt have the talent or the creative ideas. No, weād have gone out of business because of my stubbornness.ā
These last words cut deep into Peteās heart. He resonated with these words and didnāt like where they led.
The sun shone high overhead and reflected off the carpet of snow into the train compartment. Compartment 417-C had become a confessional as two strangers shared their innermost secrets, their vulnerabilities, and their fears. The wheels of the train clacked along the tracks. The steady rhythm supported the conversation by filling in the pauses.
2
The Courage to Make the Change
17 Kip continued relating his story because he felt he had to. āMy brother, who was an alcoholic, hit rock bottom in the late seventies,ā he said in a matter-of-fact voice. āI remember the call from my older sister that one cold fall night. She said heād wrapped his car around a tree. That was his wake-up call. He joined AA shortly after.
āAlcoholics Anonymous was the best thing that ever happened to him and his family. The lessons my brother learned and that I learned after my heart attack were similar. First, admit you have a problem, then accept the fact that itās within your power to make the changes you need to make.
āSure, youāll need help. No one can do it all by himself. But you must take the first step.ā Kip was trying to be direct but respectful with his fellow CEO.
āWhen I admitted to my staff that I had a problem, I gave myself choices, and that was a great gift. Believe me, Pete, you have lots of alternatives, and I donāt mean fancy programs or silver bullets.ā
Pete was intrigued. In fact, he was moved. āI can pretty much guess the changes you made in your personal life, but what alternatives did you explore at work?ā he asked.
āI first started exploring alternatives with the people who were most affected by my behavior,ā Kip replied pointedly. āOur first attempts at change were sincere but flawed. They were flawed because I was still looking for a program. I thought if I could find the right program, our problems would disappear.18
āWe tried total quality management (TQM). Remember in the mid-eighties it was the rage, and it made sense at the time. And we enrolled our people in personal improvement courses; I even took on a personal coach. I brought in consultants to help us design a new incentive program, we installed a customer service initiative, and we outsourced our help desk facilities. We tried every program we thought was reasonable. Still, we saw no real sustainable improvement to our bottom line. And our people didnāt seem to be any more accountable.ā
Kip could see that Pete was engrossed in what he was saying. The last thing he wanted to do was to bore anyone with his ideas.
Pete looked at Kip and asked, āOK, so what did you finally do?ā
āOne afternoon as I was driving home after another frustrating day, it came to me. I was so excited about the idea that I stopped my car on the side of the road and called the one senior staff member whoād always tell me when I was off baseāmy retail operations vice president, Jennifer Bailey. This was before cell phones. I can recall the experience to this day. I had to speakāno, I had to shout to be heard on the pay phone by the side of the highway.
āImagine the scene: Iām telling her about my great epiphany as Iām shouting into this phone while holding my hand over my left ear as the trucks whizzed by.ā Kip chuckled as he related the story.
āWhat did she say?ā asked Pete.
āI thought sheād laugh, but she didnāt. Jennifer Bailey, the one person I knew who would tell me flat-out if I was all wet, said, āWhat took you so long to figure it out?ā Pete, that was the beginning of my journey.
āIt seemed simple standing out on that highway and talking to Jennifer, but what happened over the next several years wasnāt easy. Frankly, it turned out to be the hardest three years in my business career. But it saved me, it saved our business, and it saved my relationship with everyone I cared about.ā19
Pete sensed that this man was about to tell him something important. āWhat was your epiphany?ā he asked with anticipation.
āPete, what I told Jennifer was simple. āPeople work better when theyāre free to do it their way.ā That was my epiphany.
āDid I want my staff to live in fear that they would say or do something wrong? Or did I want them to be free to do their job as they saw fit, to the best of their abilities?
Did I want my staff to live in fear that they would say or do something wrong?
Or did I want them to be free to do their job as they saw fit, to the best of their abilities?
āThe epiphany was an either/or choice. Choosing freedom would strip all of our control-ba...