Praying with Eyes Wide Open

A Life-Changing Way to Talk with God

Kevin Harney and Sherry Harney

• Publisher: Baker Books
• Year: 2017
• Print ISBN:
  9780801014703
• eBook ISBN:
  9781493408597
• Topic: Theology & Religion
• Subtopic: Religion

Section Three: Praying with Hearts Wide Open

Nine
The Father Is Fond of You

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

1 JOHN 4:10

In a lifetime of data and learning, some lessons, pieces of information, and truths get missed. Important things simply get passed over and never settle into our full awareness. My husband, Kevin, is a bright man and a very serious student. When we married, he had graduated from a great college and was doing his master’s degree. But there were strange gaps in his education and knowledge base.

For instance, at that time he did not know how to read a map. In particular, he did not know that when you look at a map, up is north, down is south, right is east, and left is west. I thought everyone knew that, but Kevin had missed it. In addition, he hadn’t learned a number of simple grammatical oddities, lessons that I was teaching my second-grade class at the time—for example, the difference between to and too.

I am not seeking to be critical at all. I love my husband and respect his intelligence. But I was shocked to learn that a bright man in his early twenties had these gaps in his learning. Over the next couple of years, I taught him these things and other small lessons he had missed growing up.

A Massive Lesson Missed

It is nice to know that north on a map is upward. It is helpful to know that when using “too,” you should be able to replace it with “also” or “excessively.” But missing these things is not a spiritual tragedy. When I was in my early twenties, I discovered a lesson I had missed that was far more important than any of the things Kevin had overlooked.

I was raised by deeply devoted, loving, and sincere Christian parents. Their faith, then and now, is an example to me. I went to a Bible-preaching church Sunday mornings and Sunday evenings, and I was happy to go for the most part. I was often the last person to leave, because I loved Jesus and the people of God. I attended Sunday school with teachers who delighted to see children learn about Jesus and the Bible. I even attended midweek catechism classes and learned from them. All of this, and I still missed it!

I made a commitment to Jesus at five years old. I believed the Bible was true and the very Word of God. I read my Bible and did daily devotions. I attended Calvin College, a top academic school that took the Christian faith very seriously. I was immersed in a vibrant faith community and an extended family that loved Jesus. With all of this, and the flood of great biblical teaching filling my mind and heart, I have to humbly admit, I missed one of the most important lessons in the Bible. Sadly, I did not realize I had missed this truth until I was in my early twenties.

A Life-Changing Revelation

Early in our ministry I went to a leadership conference with my husband. We were serving a church in Glendora, California, and part of our training was ongoing education. On the second day of the event, we heard that one of the main speakers had to pull out of the event and he would not be coming to speak. Instead, a man named Brennan Manning would be filling in for him. We had never heard of Brennan, but God was about to use this man to teach me a truth that had eluded me for two decades.

Brennan was a passionate, quirky, wiry man who spoke from the depth of his heart in a way I had seldom heard. His message was about the relentless grace of God. He was committed to helping all of us understand that God is a loving Abba who cares more about us than we could imagine or dream.

In his message, he told a simple story that became a key to unlock my heart and allow me to receive a gift I had not yet fully understood or embraced. Brennan related an account of a priest named Edward Farrell from Detroit, Michigan, who went to Ireland to celebrate the eightieth birthday of his uncle Seamus. Early on the morning of the great day, Edward and his uncle went for a long walk along the shores of Lake Killarney. As the sun crept up and warmed the earth, his uncle stood still and gazed into the morning light for almost twenty minutes, saying nothing.

Then, unexpectedly, Uncle Seamus began to skip along the shore of Lake Killarney, his face radiant with a smile from ear to ear. When Edward Farrell caught up with his uncle, he said, “Uncle Seamus, you look very happy. Do you want to tell me why?”

“Yes, lad,” Uncle Seamus said, his face beaming even brighter and tears streaming down his cheeks. “You see, me Abba is very fond of me.”1

As I sat listening, tears began to roll down my face. They were tears of wonder, sorrow, and joy all mingled together. I realized that I had missed it. I could tell you that God loved me, I could quote Bible verses to support this fact, and I actually believed it! But I did not know that God was fond of me . . . that he liked me. I had not skipped in sheer joy because of the deep and personal awareness that the God of the universe delighted in me. I had never stood in awestruck wonder at the reality that I am a beloved and cherished daughter of God.

In that moment my tears were partly for what I had missed, but more than that, they were for the gift of what I had just found. This was a truth that must have been taught to me many times, but it had never sunk in. My husband had missed the lesson on how to use to or too. I had missed the heart of the gospel that I received as a five-year-old child. I had not recognized that I was God’s beloved.

From that day on, everything would begin to change. When my heart was captured by this truth, my prayer life began to change in beautiful and glorious ways.

God Loves Us and He Likes Us

The apostle Paul went through a process of discovering the love and delight of God. Though he had been a hater of the church and a persecutor of Christians, Paul received God’s amazing grace and was transformed. When our hearts open to receive the truth of God’s delight over us, we are compelled to communicate with this God. Listen to the passion of Paul’s prayer:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Eph. 3:14–19)

Paul fell on his knees in praise for God’s fatherly love. He lifted up supplication for the people of God. His deep desire was that followers of Jesus would grasp the greatness of God’s love. The language he used is striking. How wide, long, high, and deep is this love of God. It is a love beyond measure. It surpasses knowledge. It is as if Paul was saying, “May you comprehend the massive nature of God’s love for you, a love that can never be fully understood.”

When I began to realize that God not only loves me, he also likes me, my understanding of God grew. So did my awareness of who I am. I am a loved and cherished child of the Ruler of the universe. God is my Abba. This continues to transform my prayer life in four distinct ways:

1. I pray knowing that God is radically approachable. When I realized that God likes me, I began to believe that he likes being with me. I can enter his presence with confidence that his arms are wide open. I remember that while Jesus was hanging on the cross, bearing my sins and paying the price for my rebellion, the curtain in the temple was torn in two from top to bottom (Matt. 27:51). It was as if the very hands of God gripped the curtain and ripped it in half. This physical divider was the visual reminder that only the high priest could enter the most holy place, and then only once a year, to offer a blood sacrifice. This curtain was a symbol of separation. When Jesus offered salvation and grace as he died on the cross, the curtain was torn and the approach to the very presence of God was opened for all of his children.
2. I pray with growing hunger for an intimate relationship with him. When I am confident that God loves me and likes me, I seek a closer friendship with my Creator. I am not drawn to people who don’t like me. I am drawn to those who care about me. As I understand that the Father is fond of me, I hunger for a deeper relationship with him.
3. I pray feeling free to be who I am, even in my brokenness. I don’t have to pretend or put on a show for someone who loves me and likes me. I am free to be myself. What I have learned over the years is that this freedom to be who I am releases me to become who God would have me be.
4. I pray and my fears evaporate. Life is full of fear—fear of rejection, judgment, abandonment, and countless other things. When I live with a clear vision of how God sees me, fear runs for the back door and heads out of town. I am not talking about awe for God’s glory or even a holy fear of the Almighty God of the universe. I am talking about unreasonable fears that drive me away from God. I am talking about ungodly fears instilled by the enemy. When I embrace the perfect love of God, fear disappears like morning mist as the sun rises. The Bible teaches that “there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18).

The love of God for you and me is so great that the only picture that comes close to reflecting God’s heart is his beloved Son hanging on a cruel cross, bearing our sin and shame and offering us his righteousness (2 Cor. 5:21). No matter how much we think we understand this gift and comprehend God’s love, there is still more to learn. There is more to be received. There is always more!

A Right View of God

Our view of God affects every aspect of our life and faith. The great pastor and theologian A. W. Tozer penned these words:

What comes into our mind when we think about God is the most important thing about us. . . . Were we able to extract from any man a complete answer to the question, “What comes into your mind when you think about God?” we might predict with certainty the spiritual future of that man.2

If we view God as disinterested, we will not draw near him. If we view God as a kind but weak old man in the sky, we will not trust him to deliver in times of need. If we believe God is an angry judge looking for a reason to throw the book at us, we will run away and hide from him. But when we know that God loves us and is fond of us, we run to his arms with deep trust and confidence that he wants the best for us. This leads to prayer at all times and in all places.

God’s Love for the World

In the Gospel of John, right after Jesus’ encounter with Nicodemus, we read these words:

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. (John 3:16–18)

God’s love extends beyond those who are already in the church and part of his family. God’s love is big enough for the whole world.

Kevin and I have spent over thirty years serving the local church. We have also spent these years training and helping other churches, denominational leaders, and international leaders as they seek to be outwardly focused and develop a culture of evangelistic faithfulness. We use the term “Organic Outreach” (see organicoutreach.com). This is the practice of sharing God’s love and good news naturally. We believe that God’s heart for the world should move our hearts to action. We believe God’s love for the world should move us to passionate and persistent prayers for those who are still far from Jesus.

Henry’s Story

Deb was the last of five children born to Henry and Betty. She grew up in a caring family that had no Christian faith. Her father, Henry, was a farmer and loved to share his produce with friends and neighbors. Deb loved her family and felt very loved by her parents.

When Deb met Bruce, they fell in love, got married, and started their own family. Bruce was a Christian, and Deb soon discovered the love and grace of Jesus. She received the Savior, joined a local church, and began growing in her newfound faith. When she told her father she had become a Christian, she thought he would be happy for her. Instead, he said, “You can do what you want, but I think you are making a mistake.”

These words broke her heart and motivated her to begin praying for her father. Months and years passed and Henry showed no sign of opening his heart to God’s love and grace. Deb would find...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Copyright Page
• Endorsements
• Dedication
• Contents
• Acknowledgments
• Introduction
• Section One: Praying with Eyes Wide Open
• Section Two: Praying with Ears Wide Open
• Section Three: Praying with Hearts Wide Open
• Section Four: Praying with Lives Wide Open
• Notes
• About the Author
• Back Ads
• Back Cover