SOME PROBLEMS FOR THE MOOSE LODGE
Some Problems for the Moose Lodge was first performed on November 8, 1980, as part of an evening of three short Williams plays titled. Tennessee Laughs, at the Goodman Theatre in Chicago. It was directed by Gary Tucker; the set design was by Joseph Nieminski; the costume design was by Ellen Ryba; the lighting design was by Robert Christian; and the sound design was by Michael Schweppe. The cast, in order of appearance, was as follows:
| CORNELIUS MCCORKLE | Les Podewell |
| BELLA MCCORKLE | Marji Bank |
| CHARLIE MCCORKLE | Scott Jaeck |
| EMERSON SYKES | Nathan Davis |
| STACEY | Cynthia Baker |
| JESSIE SYKES | Rachel Stephens |
| DR. CRANE | Leonard Kraft |
The curtain rises upon an empty living room with a staircase that ascends to a landing where it proceeds in another direction to an unseen story above.
It is a living room that has been lived in by at least two generations. The standing floor lamp with its faded silk shade, dingily fringed, establishes the period in which the room was first furnished for living.
A mantle clock ticks rather loudly for half a minute before there is the sound of persons about to enter the house: the sounds are not vocal but mechanical. An old dog is roused from slumber by these sounds and approaches the door. It swings open to admit Cornelius and Bella McCorkle. They are a middle-class, late-middle-aged couple. He is thin with wispy hairs. She is clumsily gone to fat with an apologetic air; they are very used to each other, with the usual attritions of feelings.
Cornelius sets down the luggage with an exhausted grunt and an indignant glance at Bella whose cardiac asthma has incapacitated her for carrying anything much beside her excess weight. she appears to be dazed until approached by the old dog who licks at her hand.
CORNELIUS: Come on Bella before it starts raining again.
BELLA [to the dog]: Hello, Sweet Boy. Want out in the yard?
CORNELIUS [exhaustedly]: He oughta stay out in the yard. I been tellinā you for years that dog is a yard dog, Bella, heās full of ticks and fleas, infests the furniture with āem.
BELLA [also exhausted]: Sweet Boy is been with us for years. Heās family to me.
CORNELIUS: All right, if you want to claim relations with a flea-bitten ole mongrel, you do that. But Iāll be damned if Iāll acknowledge him as an in-law if you do.
BELLA [sniffling]: This is no kind of conversation to have when we just git back from Memphis where we buried our first-born child.
CORNELIUS [softening with exhaustion or possibly even pity]: Bella, the dog is at the door to go out like you sensibly suggested, so why donāt you let him go do it? [Bella lets Sweet Boy out.] Now shut the door, a sharp windās blowinā in, not good for arthritis. Whatās the diffārence between osteo-arthritis, as the Memphis specialist called it, and regular arthritis? I ast him. He didnāt explain.
BELLA: Maybe age was the only explanation. Itās started raininā again. Heāll want back in as soon as heās done his business in the yard.
CORNELIUS: Smells to me like heās made some business transactions in the house.
BELLA: On the papers I spread out beside his feed-bowl in the kitchen.
CORNELIUS: The stink of it makes me sick. [Cornelius crosses off by swinging upstage door to kitchen. Bella gasps slightly as she notices a muddy pair of boots by the fireplace.]
BELLA: Cornelius!
CORNELIUS [returning from kitchen with can of beer]: Now what?
BELLA: Look at whatās by the fireplace! Charlieās boots; heās back!
CORNELIUS: Been fired again, I guess.
BELLA: This late he must be asleep. Iāll call him but not loud. [Goes panting up to landing and calls softly.] Charlie? Charlie?
CORNELIUS: Bella, youāve been warned to move slow. Now you run up those stairs like a mountain goat.
CHARLIEāS VOICE ABOVE: āYeh, Mom, are you back?
CORNELIUS: Hears you call him and asks if you are back.
BELLA: Sweetheart, come down here, baby!
[Two voices, one male and one female, are heard above.]
CORNELIUS: Heās got him a woman up there, brought some hooker here with him.
BELLA: Cornelius, be nice, he didnāt expect us this early.
CORNELIUS: This early is late, twelve twenty-five.
[After a slight pause their younger son Charlie, about twenty-five, appears on the landing in shorts.]
BELLA: Baby, baby, seen your boots by the fire, I knew you were home! [She embraces him, sobbing.]
CORNELIUS: Whatās detaining your lady-friend upstairs?
CHARLIE [detaching himself from Bella]: āAw, yeh, her, Stacey, my steady from Yazoo City. Come down anā meet my folks.
STACEY [from above]: Just a minute, hon.
CORNELIUS: Gettinā into her cloāse?
CHARLIE: Both of us was so tired we went straight to bed.
CORNELIUS: I bet.
CHARLIE: How was the funeral, Mom? Did it go off all right?
CORNELIUS: Yeh, perfect. Grave dug. Body interred.
BELLA: Weāll talk about it tomorrow. I canāt discuss it tonight. āYou all had supper? Want me to fix you some food? How about an omālette? Havenāt checked the ice-box but think thereās eggs.
CORNELIUS: Still calls the fridge an ice-box.
CHARLIE: That would be wonderful, Mom.
BELLA [crossing upstage to kitchen door]: With cheese and tomatoes anā bacon. [She exits to kitchen.]
CORNELIUS: So you lost another job, huh?
CHARLIE: That job was misrepresented to me completely.
CORNELIUS: You mean you found out it involved some work?
CHARLIE: I donāt object to work.
CORNELIUS: As long as you donāt have to do it.
CHARLIE: āYālook tired, Pop. Howāre you feeling?
CORNELIUS: Tired.
[Stacey, Charlieās girl, appears on the landing, silently, unnoticed. She is obviously pregnant but her face has a childish appeal. She appears to be still engaged in dressing. Charlie notices her and gives her a warning signal to remain out of sight till more completely appareled. Cornelius lumbers to easy chair and flops exhaustedly into it, massaging his belly, still oblivious of Stacey who has retreated into shadow on landing.]
CHARLIE [with a nervous cough]: You all had a long trip? Seem to be sorta done in.
CORNELIUS: Wouldnāt think it possible you could spend six hours getting from here on the Gulf Coast up the river to Memphis but the actual flyinā time was about two hours or one and a half and the rest was settinā on our asses in the New Awleuns airport. [Warming up.] They announced three delays on that plane. Each time one was announced your Mom says, āWell, I reckon Iāll have some more coffee.ā
CHARLIE: Thatās a good deal of coffee with her heart condition anā pressure.
CORNELIUS: It was less coffee than food. I looked through the window at her and the first time she ha...