SAMâS DREAM
One day there is no day because there is no day
before, no yesterday, then a now, & time, & a cell
divides and you, you are in time, time is in you, as
multiplying now u slip into our stream, or is it u grow
a piece of stream in us, is it flesh or time you grow,
how, is it an American you grow, week 28, when we
are told dreaming begins. Welcome. Truest stranger.
Perhaps one of the last conceived & carried in womb.
Father and mother singular and known. Born of
human body. Not among the perfected ones yet. No. A
mere human, all firsthand knowledge, flying in as if
kindlingânatural. The last breath before the first
breath is mystery. Then u burn into gaze, thought,
knowledge of oblivion. Rock yourself. Kick so I can
feel you out here. Push your hands against the
chamber. The world is exhausted. I moisten my lips
and try to remember a song. I have to have a song to
sing you from out here. They say you now hear vividly.
This could have been a paradise my song begins. No,
this is, was, is, never will be again, will be, we hope
desperately wasnât a dream, maybe in your dream
now there is a clue, can you dream the clue, you who
are dreaming what having had no life to dream of,
dream fromâwhat populates youâbloodflow and
lightswirl, stammering of ventricles, attempts at
motion, absorbings, incompletions, fluiditiesâdo you
have temptation yet, or even the meanwhileâsuch a
mature duration this meanwhile, how it intensifies
this presentâor neverthelessâno beyond of course
in your dream what could be beyondâno
defeat as so far no defeatâcells humâno partiality
as all grows in your first dream which is the dream of
what you areâis that rightâno attempt as there is
no attempting yetâno privacyâI laugh to myself
writing the wordâoh look at that wordâno
either/orâbut yes light filtering-in, root-darknesses,
motionâand the laughter, do you hear it from us out
here, us, can you hear that strain of what we call
sincerityâOh. Remain unknown. Know no daybreak
ever. Dream of no running from fire, no being shoved
into mass grave others falling over you, dream of no
bot, no capture filter storeâno algorithmic memory,
no hope, realism, knowing, no quest-for, selling-of,
accosting violently to have, no lemon-color of the end
of day, no sudden happiness, no suddenly. It is much
bigger, fasterâtry to hear outâthis place youâre
being fired intoâother in itâjudgment of otherâ
logic, representation, nightmareâhow to prepare
youâwhat do you dreamâwhat must I singâit says
you cry in there & laughâout here a late October
rain has started down, soon you shall put your small
hand out & one of us will say slowly and outloud rain
and you will say rainâbut what is that on your hand
which falling has come round again in the forever of
again to reach your waiting upturned hand. I look up
now. Clouds drift. Evaporation is a thing. That our only
system is awry a thing. That u will see rains such as I
have never seen a thing. Plain sadness, this hand-knit
sweater, old things, maybe u shall have some ofâin
this my songâin my long song not telling u about the
paradise, abandoning my song of whatâs no longer
possible, that song, it is a thing. Oh normalcy, what a
song I would sing you. Child u shall god willing come
out into the being known. First thing will be the
visible. Thatâs the first step of our dream, the dream of
here. You will see motes in light. And lights inside the
light which can go out. A different dark. And spirits
wind exhaustion a heavy thing attached to youâyour
entityâas u enter history and itâso bright, correct,
awake, speaking and crying-outâbegins. And all the
rest begins. Amazing, you were not everything after
all. Out you come into legibility. Difference. Why
shouldnât all be the same thing? Itâs a thing, says the
stranger nearby, itâs a new thing, t...