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Part I
Foundation and Theory
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1 The Eternal Bond
Understanding the Importance of
the HumanâAnimal Bond and its
Impact on Pet Loss
Aubrey H. Fine
Does it ever get easier? Will the pain and empty feelings ever subside, or at least appear more manageable? These are common questions frequently asked and considered when people experience the loss of their beloved companion animal. So, I rhetorically ask, why do most people consider getting another pet knowing that perhaps their heart will be broken once again? The answer for many is truly simple. The love that you receive from this relationship is so significant that you are willing to have your heart broken once again.
Over the past 40 years, my heart has been broken several times because of the losses that I have experienced. Goldie was our first Golden Retriever, and he changed my life. I fell in love with him the first time I saw his puppy eyes. Although I had other small animals as pets, I never had a dog. In fact, as a child, I grew up afraid of them. As an adult, I became more infatuated with golden retrievers, and they would become my breed of choice. From the first moment I met Goldie, our relationship was unbreakable. He became my running and riding buddy and was a big brother to my growing children. It was so much fun watching them romp in the fields near my house. Goldie went with us everywhere. Memories of those years will be etched in my mind for a lifetime.
However, we donât stay young forever, and as Goldie aged, he began to slow down. He didnât have many health impairments in his early years, but, when he was about 11 years of age, he developed brain cancer. It was at that time we realized that his life was coming to an end. I must confess, it was very difficult to let go, although, in my mind (not my heart), I knew it was in his best interest. I still vividly recall the afternoon we put Goldie down. We had scheduled a home visit with a veterinarian about four days earlier. When he arrived, I was devastated. I was not ready to let go of my beloved friend. In fact, the night before Goldie was to be put down, I remember barbecuing him steak and letting my wife know I was going to spend the night sleeping next to him (just like a little boy). At some point in the evening, I felt him gazing into my eyes, almost trying to tell me that it was OK to let him go. He even got up a few times to move away for a short time. When the veterinarian finally arrived the next day, he noted that he could give Goldie a short physical to be sure that our assessment was accurate. Quickly, the reality sunk in and it was clear that euthanasia was definitely appropriate. My eyes welled as we made the final decision. In my mind, I went through all of the stages of KĂŒbler-Rossâs grief. I would have bargained to the end of time not to let this occur, but reality did hit. The veterinarian was very comforting and explained everything that was going to happen. Goldie laid his head on my lap and after the injections were given, slowly closed his eyes and began to stop breathing. The veterinarian left me with Goldie for a while. I wept as I gently stroked his warm, soft fur. When the veterinarian returned, he told me that he would take Goldie to be cremated. As I watched Goldie being carried to his car, I remember standing there holding onto his collar and dog tags. His body was leaving, but his soul would be etched into my heart forever.
Although seemingly a cliché, the adage nonetheless is true and apropos: time heals all wounds but never erases the scars. So, as time went on, my heart lightened, and I eventually became ready for another pet to love. I must be clear that new pets are not replacements or substitutes! You never replace someone; instead, you find and embrace another soul with whom you can connect.
Years later, we adopted another Golden Retriever whom we named Magic. Magic became our familyâs âForever Dog.â There are many reasons why she deserved that accolade, but perhaps it was most related to the time in our lives that we got her. We got Magic two days before my wife Nya was diagnosed with breast cancer. Magic just jumped right into our family and the relationship she had my wife Nya was astonishing. They were always together. Magic lifted Nyaâs spirit, perhaps because she was so tiny and adorable and always seemed to be right next to her. There was a time during my wifeâs recovery when she looked at me and said, âI know now why we got Magic when we did. Magic is keeping me busy and brings me joy. She is helping me heal.â And so right she was with that impression. What was so special to witness was that every evening they could be found holding hand and paw together. It was their special moment which they repeated daily for almost 12 years.
Losing Magic was devastating! Even though we had prepared ourselves for the couple months that she was ill, because of our connection, it was very difficult. Magic too was battling cancer and unfortunately it was winning the battle. We became her best advocate and put her welfare and quality of life as our top priority. It needed to be about her, not us! We elected not to have her endure any invasive procedures because a healthy prognosis was not there. However, our role was to monitor and evaluate her quality of daily life. When we believed that the quality of her life was unduly influenced by her illness, we would have to make that decision. It was only the last 24 hours of her life that she had a noticeable decline. We were told that it could happen quickly and her decline was evident. At dinnertime, she got up to eat and fell down. We knew quickly that her end was nearing, and it was time to say goodbye to our beloved friend. Nya actually realized that the end was coming earlier in the day before everything seemed to fall apart. Magic was always an early riser, and on that Monday she slept in. It was at that moment I realized how painful it was for Nya as I watched tears drop out of her eyes. She had beaten her battle with cancer, but she felt helpless that she could not help her buddy anymore. It was 6 oâclock that evening that Magicâs body began to give out.
Early the next morning, we took our final drive with Magic. Although Nya accompanied us to the veterinarian, she didnât feel comfortable entering. I understood her feelings and respected them, although I have to admit that I called her twice while inside asking her if she had changed her mind. The outcome wasnât any different from the one I experienced 30 years earlier when Goldie passed on. It was hard for both of us because of the strong connection that we had with Magic. Both Magic and Goldie were integral parts of our family and it was hard to let go.
Itâs been close to a year and a half since Magic passed away, but there hasnât been a day that has gone by that I havenât thought about her, sometimes reflecting for a moment or shedding a tear. More often, as I think of times gone by too quickly, I smile and give thanks! Thanks for having her and all of my pets in my life. They have completed and made our days richer!
The goal of this chapter is to help conceptualize why the humanâanimal bond is so significant and unique. Attention will be given to these humanâanimal interactions, and provide information on the physical as well as psychosocial benefits of having animals in our lives. Finally, the chapter will provide a framework by which to better understand the various theories used to explain our bonds with other living beings. This foundation should be helpful in explaining why we have such a strong connection with our companion animals and develop these eternal bonds. In essence, our relationships with animals have evolved from having them live in the backyards of our homes or in our garages to now sleeping in our bedrooms and sharing our homes. Over the past 50 years, science has begun to catch up with what people have known intuitively for centuries â animals are good for our well-being, and they contribute tremendously to our quality of life.
Why We Love Animals
Over the years, pet ownership has grown in America. According to the 2017â2018 American Pet Products Association (APPA) National Pet Owner Survey, 68% of households own a pet, which equates to about 84.6 million homes. In fact, in 1988 when the first survey was conducted by APPA, only 56% of US households owned a pet, so we have seen a modest growth of about 12% in close to 30 years. Dogs are in approximately 60.2 million US households, while cats are in 47.1 million US households. Although cats are in fewer homes, there are more cats than dogs in the United States. There are 89.7 million dogs in our homes while there are 94.2 million cats.
Pets are now intimately connected with us, and we graciously and lovingly share our homes (bedrooms, kitchens, living areas) with them. No longer are they confined to the outskirts of homes (backyards, garages). They have become an integral part of our daily lives. People are now spending a great deal of their discretionary funds on pet keeping to ensure the quality of life for their animals. Demonstrating our commitment to our pets, our pets are now more pampered than ever before. Expenditures, including items like food, supplies, boarding, grooming, and veterinarian care, were estimated to be over $70 billion in 2017 (APPA, 2018). In essence, our relationships with our pets involves not only our heart, but also our pocketbooks. Many talk to their pets like fellow humans and attribute to them several human qualities such as reasoning, cognition, emotion, and perception. The science of canine cognition has been literally transformed in the past two decades and has unearthed new insights. Research into canine cognition has provided new insights into dog behavior and cognition. For example, Horowitz (2009) explained that dogsâ strength in communicating with humans is related to their predisposed ability to look at our faces for critical information, for reassurance, and for guidance. These traits are a definite asset for their interaction with humans because they enable dogs to be keen observers of our reactions. Research suggests that dogs uniquely obtain information from facial cues and can use auditory as well as visual information to identify emotions in both canines and humans (Albuquerque et al., 2016). Furthermore, research has demonstrated the importance of mutual facial gazing in the bond between humans and dogs. For example, Nagasawa, Kikusui, Onaka, & Ohta (2015) argue that mutual gaze, a behavior signifying attachment between mother and child, is found in relationships between humans and their pet dogs. More current research now suggests that dogs are also capable of understanding human words. Andics et al. (2016) report that some dogs are able to recognize more than 1,000 human words. Their research found that regardless of how the words are pronounced, dogs process meaningful words in the left hemisphere of their brain.
Fine and Beck (2015) point out that it is apparent that dogs have been bred to co-exist with their human counterparts to fulfill many roles, including herding, guarding, hunting, fishing, and companionship. In fact, they suggest that the supportive nature of animals has played a tremendous role in human lives and believe that this could be one of the major reasons for their domestication in their use as pets. Fine (2014) points out that we established positive interactions with animals ever since we began domesticating them to co-exist with us â over 30,000 years ago. In most cases, humans befriended animals and welcomed them into their lives for a variety of reasons, including security and companionship. In a discussion with Temple Grandin (2013), she noted that she believed the animals that were the most intuitive, cooperative, helpful, and friendly to their human counterparts were those most welcomed into human circles. Those animals that lacked some of these traits were less likely to be accepted by humans. Furthermore, research also points out that pets can facilitate our social relationships with others. For example, we more easily connect with neighbors who have pets with whom we can interact. Animals are easier to talk to than people, or they act as a bridge into an introduction (Fine, 2014).
What is The HumanâAnimal Bond?
The American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) defines the humanâanimal bond:
as a mutually beneficial and dynamic relationship between people and other animals that is influenced by behaviors that are essential to the health and well-being of both. This includes, but is not limited to, emotional, psychological and physical interactions with people, other animals, and the environment.
(JAVMA, 1998, p. 1975)
In many ways, the metaphor humanâanimal bond (HAB) captures the spirit of the infantâparent bond (Fine, 2014). Beck (1999) noted that the term âbondâ was borrowed from the terminology used to describe the relationship between parents and their children. In fact, Beck (1999) points out that the first âofficialâ use of the term âhumanâanimal bondâ appeared in the Proceedings of the Meeting of Group for the Study of Human-Companion Animal Bond in Dundee, Scotland, March 23â25, 1979. An animalâs dependence on humans appears to be a critical factor in establishing and sustaining this bond. Many individuals recognize their responsibility to their pets and how much their pets depend on them. Legally, animals are considered property, but most people view their pets as companions and family members (Fine, 2014). In essence, our healthy relationships with pets have a profound influence on both human and animal health and behavior.
The Physiological and Psychological Benefits of Humanâ Animal Interactions
Ever since the pioneering research by Erica Friedmann and her colleagues (1980, 1993) demonstrated that pet ownership was associated with better recovery in patients discharged from a coronary care unit, there has been great interest in studying the impact of the humanâanimal interactions on human health. Fine (2014) identified a plethora of studies that have highlighted the value of these interactions on human health. Studies have revealed numerous outcomes, including the impact of stroking a pet on heart rate (McGreevy, Righetti, & Thomson, 2005; Shiloh, Sorek, & Terkel, 2003; Vormbrock & Grossberg, 1988), the presence of a pet dog or cat and its impact on heart rate and blood pressure in stressful situations (such as completing mental arithmetic) (Allen, Blascovich, & Mendes, 2002), petsâ impact on reducing feelings of loneliness and isolation (Headey, 1998), and how walking with a dog impacts opportunities to initiate and sustain conversations with strangers (McNicholas & Collis, 2000). Furthermore, in research conducted by Purewal et al. (2017), they found evidence for childhood pet ownership and a wide range of psychological health benefits. The study suggested that pet ownership provides support for increased social competence as well as enhancement of childhood social networks.
Further research points out that during interactions with a perceived friendly dog, cortisol (stress hormone) levels decrease significantly, and both humans and dogs experienced an increase in oxytocin, an endorphin that promotes a sense of happiness (Odendaal & Meintjes, 2003). It is evident that the presence of and the interaction with a companion animal makes people feel less stressed and anxious and increases feelings of security (Fine, 2014). Findings from research stu...
