Men, Masculinities and Honour-Based Abuse

Mohammad Idriss, Mohammad Mazher Idriss, Mohammad Idriss, Mohammad Mazher Idriss

• Publisher: Routledge
• Year: 2019
• Print ISBN: 9781032082561
• eBook ISBN: 9781000027303
• Edition: 1
• Topic: Law
• Subtopic: Criminal Law
• Index: Law

This book explores the largely neglected relationship between men, masculinities and honour-based abuse (HBA). There is a common misconception that HBA – whether physical violence, emotional abuse or so-called 'honour' killings – occurs only against women.

This book addresses the gap in the current literature concerning the relationship between men, masculinities and HBA. With contributions from an international and interdisciplinary range of both academics and professionals, the book examines HBA and forced marriages specifically from male-victim perspectives, both in the UK and internationally. Providing a clear understanding of the main theoretical and sociological explanations of HBA against male victims, the book demonstrates that, although men are indeed the main perpetrators of HBA, state agencies must address the fact that many men are also victims.

This book is essential reading for students, academics, and practitioners alike.

Chapter 1
The ‘forgotten’ voices

Men, masculinities and ‘honour’-based abuse – an introduction

Mohammad Mazher Idriss¹

Background and evolution of the book

This book begins by introducing the forgotten voices of so-called honour-based abuse (HBA), violence and forced marriage – men and boys as hidden and silent victims. HBA is an incident or crime committed in order to protect or defend the honour of the family (Welchman and Hossain, 2005; Reddy, 2008; Idriss and Abbas, 2010; Gill et al., 2014; Julios, 2015). It involves abuse or violence used to control (predominantly) women who are perceived to have violated cultural norms and are thereby alleged to have tarnished their family’s honour (Reddy, 2008). As a social construct, it may occur when individuals perceive that a woman has shamed the family by behaving in a too Westernised way or engaging in relationships outside marriage (Gill et al., 2014). The idea of HBA is usually associated with women from ethnic communities (Reddy, 2014). More specifically, in the UK it is usually associated with women from South Asian and Muslim backgrounds (Anitha and Gill, 2015; Begikhani et al., 2015). Crimes such as assault, blackmail, coercive control, false imprisonment, forced marriage, kidnap and, in extreme cases, so-called honour killings may be committed to supposedly cleanse the family name of the perceived shame involved (Siddiqui, 2005; Gill et al., 2014). HBA thus represents a continuum of violence against women and girls (VAWG) (Kelly, 1988; Sev’er and Yurdakul, 2001; Gryzb, 2016). There is no separate criminal offence of HBA in England and Wales, and a range of legislation (e.g. the criminalisation of forced marriages) or common law offences may be used to prosecute perpetrators. This adds to the difficulty of understanding the picture on the prevalence of HBA, arguably leading it to remain largely under-reported and underestimated (Women’s Aid, 2016; Myhill, 2017). In relation to statistical information concerning the prevalence of HBA, there is lack of data of any value to give an exact measurement (Hall, 2014; Julios, 2015). Neither official Home Office reports nor the Crime Survey for England and Wales (CSEW) (ONS, 2018) contains data on the extent to which HBA (and non-fatal offences) is committed. This was also confirmed by the House of Commons Home Affairs Committee Report (HCHAC, 2008), though there have been unofficial attempts to quantify it. These statistics are however, at best, speculative. It is possible thousands of incidents of HBA go unreported, with some unofficially estimating that 17,000 women are victims of HBA in the UK each year alone (Brady, 2008). Despite these estimates, there is no certainty how many cases of HBA there are because it is a hidden crime and perpetrators attempt to conceal their crimes (Begikhani and Hague, 2013; Hall, 2014). Furthermore, there is a general risk of double counting because cases pass between various state agencies (HCHAC, 2008; Khanum, 2008). In relation to so-called honour killings, Amnesty International estimates that approximately 5,000 cases occur worldwide each year (Amnesty International, 1999; United Nations Population Fund, 2008). However, again this is considered to be an underestimate as it fails to take into account cases not reported, as well as those women taken back home to their ancestral countries and who have then disappeared (Hall, 2014). Estimates are also difficult because so-called honour killings are rarely reported to the police and families often cover their crimes by disguising deaths as accidents or suicides (Warrick, 2009). Amnesty International has not explained how it has methodologically reached its estimation, casting further doubt on the reliability of its statistics. While the London Metropolitan Police Service estimated in 2004 that there are approximately 12 to 15 so-called honour killings in the UK per annum, this is by no means certain (MPS, 2007; Brandon and Hafez, 2008; Gill, 2009; Gill, 2010). Overall, the inconsistent way in which statistical data is collected is one of the main reasons why it is difficult to determine with any accuracy the prevalence of HBA.

There are several reasons why I, as the editor, decided to embark upon a project that analyses the experiences of men. First, I wanted to produce another book as a follow-up to my 2010 co-edited book (with Tahir Abbas) entitled Honour, Violence, Women and Islam. That book, first conceived in 2007, had the principal aim of highlighting women’s victimisation across the world in the name of so-called honour, and we wanted to highlight that HBA is not purely an Islamic phenomenon. Rather, HBA is another example or manifestation of VAWG across the world, regardless of women’s ethnicity or where they live (Baker et al., 1999). Having edited and published that collection of essays in 2010, ten years ago, I thought that it was not only time to work on another book publication project, but that one was very much needed on men’s experiences of HBA and forced marriage. There is a growing wealth of research and data on HBA and VAWG since the 2010 book, yet what is distinctly absent is detailed analysis and consideration of men’s experiences as victims separate from women (Samad, 2010). Any discussion of male victims is either reduced to a few sentences or a short paragraph, or included within a footnote or addendum (see e.g. Gill et al., 2014: 3 and 7; Dyer, 2015: 16). As editor, I therefore wanted to work on this project to provide greater recognition of men’s victimisation, not as a counter to the discussion on VAWG, but to give better recognition to the subject that male victimisation deserves (Hogan et al., 2012). Inherited gender roles and stereotypes are burdensome and unjust to both women and men and must therefore be challenged (Honderich, 1995: 528). Although there is some overlap with the causes and responses to HBA with female victims, there are enough differences to justify studying male victims as a separate and distinct sub-group within the field. This book addresses this gap in knowledge and in doing so draws upon existing theories as applied to female victims, but develops its own methodology and theoretical standpoints to ensure that male victims are treated with the same degree of seriousness and sympathy as female victims. Another reason why I embarked upon this project relates to my personal interactions with male victims of HBA and forced marriages and my commitment to support all victims of abuse. In 2018, at Manchester Metropolitan University I conducted a series of HBA Roadshows across the country in front of key stakeholders, professionals, members of the public and survivors. I also produced a final report on a series of recommendations that was presented to Mr Pat McFadden MP and the House of Commons on 24 January 2019 (Idriss, 2018b). During the Roadshows, several male survivors discussed their experiences and their wishes for better recognition by state agencies as well as improved support for male victims at societal and government levels. This book is dedicated to all male victims of HBA, violence and forced marriages and is a contribution to wider discussions about how we can support all victims. This book, with its collection of chapters, focuses on HBA and forced marriage against men, providing new evidence and highlighting important implications for laws, policies, research and gender-neutral services, with the aim of seeking to highlight, recognise and create additional spaces and funding for male victims.

Similarities with VAWG – men as an important sub-group worthy of study

New evidence and details of male victimisation are beginning to emerge with policies, research and theory-building on male victims developing and slowly being drawn to the public’s attention. For example, the CSEW details long-term trends and attitudes towards domestic abuse experienced by women and men, estimating that 7.9% of women (1.3 million) and 4.2% of men (695,000) have experienced domestic abuse between March 2017 and March 2018 (ONS, 2018). A very recent high-profile case concerns Alex Skeel, who was abused for over three years by his girlfriend. A documentary about his abuse called Abused by My Girlfriend (BBC, 2019) appeared on the BBC, and his girlfriend was convicted of coercive and controlling behaviour and grievous bodily harm – she was sentenced to seven-and-a-half years in prison in April 2018 (Ritschel, 2019). However, though male victims of domestic abuse are beginning to be recognised in public policy and at the national level, research illustrates that many male victims are also perpetrators and that women experience a greater amount and more severe abuse from male partners (Hester, 2009). This can sometimes blur the line between male victims/male perpetrators in comparison to female victims, many of whom may use violent resistance against violent male partners, or defensive or retaliatory force rather than initiating violence themselves (Hester, 2009: 4). However, the CSEW’s estimation and Hester’s (2009) study specifically relates to domestic/intimate partner abuse and does not focus on male victims of HBA or forced marriages and who have not initiated abuse or violence themselves. In 2005, a Council of Europe study of forced marriages highlighted that in the UK, 15% of the victims who the Home Office had supported were male (Council of Europe, 2005: 24). This figure has since increased and according to recent statistics provided by the Forced Marriage Unit (FMU) on 24 May 2019, of the 1,322 cases that it dealt with in 2018, 75% concerned women and 17% concerned men (Home Office, 2019: 9); on 16 March 2018, of the 1,196 cases that it dealt with in 2017, 77.8% of cases that the FMU supported concerned women and 21.4% concerned male victims (the remaining victims chose not to disclose their gender) (Home Office, 2018). These statistics are not intended to reflect the prevalence of forced marriage in the UK, but to highlight the existence of male victimisation in approximately one-fifth of the FMU’s caseload. On 11 June 2018, the Council of Europe in another report further repeated its recognition of male victims when it said:

Forced marriage is a form of violence against women that entails serious violations of fundamental rights, and in particular of women’s and girls’ rights to physical integrity, physical and mental health, sexual and reproductive health, education, private life, freedom and autonomy. Men and boys who are victims of forced marriage face many similar violations of their rights. Neither culture, custom, religion, tradition nor so-called ‘honour’ can justify such violations.

(Council of Europe, 2018: 1)

With this growing attention to male victims across Europe, Yasmin Alibhai-Brown recently wrote a recent Sunday Times Magazine article on 25 November 2018 supporting the statement that it is not just women who experience HBA and forced marriages (Alibhai-Brown, 2018). She interviewed a male victim named Suhail Khan, who had been forced to marry a woman from Kashmir. Lucky Roy Singh was another male victim interviewed by Alibhai-Brown who, as a young gay Sikh man, fell in love with another gay Sikh man. His lover’s parents were liberal and urged them both to marry, but the mother-in-law told Lucky to dress as a bride in order to dupe guests into believing that this was a ‘normal’ heterosexual wedding (Alibhai-Brown, 2018). Things deteriorated for Lucky after the marriage, where he was pressured into a life of domestic servitude by his mother-in-law and was expected to stay at home, cook, clean and generally do as he was told. He has since published a diary called Take a Walk in My Big Indian Heels in which he explains that he became a ‘bride’ for the sake of ‘honour’ and Sikh culture (Singh, 2017). Lucky is not the only gay Sikh man to write a book about his experiences – Manjinder Singh Sidhu published Bollywood Gay: A Help Yourself Book to Living an Authentic Life (Sidhu, 2016) about coming out to his mother and the abuse from his own cousins after revealing his sexuality (Razzall and Khan, 2017). These accounts of HBA and forced marriages have been recounted elsewhere. During the HBA Roadshow 2018, several male survivors discussed their abuse before a public audience. One male survivor explained his experiences of HBA and its relationship to caste-based discrimination in the UK. As an Indian national, he married a British national in what was initially a love marriage, although both belonged to different castes. His parents did not approve of the marriage because his wife had been previously divorced, was significantly older than him and had teenage children of her own from her first marriage. Sadly, his wife became abusive towards him, coercively controlling him and his finances. He explained that his abuse was related to his caste – because he belonged to a lower caste, this somehow legitimised the abuse he experienced. His wife’s teenage children were also physically and verbally abusive. When he disclosed this to his parents back in India, they refused to support him because he had married outside his caste and a divorce would bring shame on the family. When the victim tried calling the police, he explained that no one came to assist him – over a period of two days, he made nine telephone calls to the police. He put his negative experiences down to social constructions that ‘men can’t be victims’ and so the police did not help him. When they eventually came to investigate, he was subsequently arrested because his wife had made counter-allegations against him. He has since left the relationship with the help of intervention from a support organisation that he had researched online. Fearing for his own safety if he returned to India because he married outside his caste, he has since applied for permanent residency in the UK. The support organisation explained that foreign nationals with no recourse to public funds (NRPF) based on their immigration status often apply for the Destitution Domestic Violence (DDV) Concession. The organisation commented that, in its experience, applications for DDV Concessions can take longer to process for men in comparison to women because the Home Office is more cautious of cases concerning men, who may be attempting to circumvent immigration laws by falsely claiming HBA in order to remain in the UK (Idriss, 2018b).

Another male victim who attended the Roadshows, a British national, also explained his experiences of forced marriage to a cousin from Pakistan against his will. He was pressured to get married because his father had become ill in hospital. His uncles emotionally blackmailed him by claiming that his father was ill because of his refusal to get married. The victim married in Pakistan but returned to the UK without his wife, having planned on delaying the necessary immigration papers that would bring his wife to the UK. Forced marriage is often used to facilitate immigration applications and to help facilitate migration to the UK. However, his wife was able to enter the UK via other family routes and so the male victim was forced to live with his wife. To escape his ordeal, he enrolled on a university course several hundred miles away. There, he ‘partied hard’ in order to ‘numb the pain’ (his words), consuming drink and drugs and generally behaving as ‘good Muslim boys’ should not. The summer periods when university ended were the most dreaded for him, as he had to go back home and live as man and wife. After graduation, he remained in the city where he had studied in order to be away from the family home. It was only then after some years that his marriage ended, as his family then realised that he was never going to return home. In some respects, the male victim enjoyed some freedom, as he was able to start university education and move away from home – these circumstances are seldom made available to female victims of forced marriage. However, the male victim added that had there been more male support services avail...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Half Title
• Dedication
• Title
• Copyright
• Contents
• Foreword
• Contributors
• Acknowledgements
• 1 The ‘forgotten’ voices: men, masculinities and ‘honour’-based abuse – an introduction
• 2 ‘Seeing the unseen’: male victims of forced marriages
• 3 Male victims of honour-based violence and abuse in England: who does what to whom – and why?
• 4 Men’s experiences of forced marriage: ain’t I a man?
• 5 Forced marriage of men with learning disabilities: risks, reasons and responses
• 6 Homophobic ‘honour’ abuse experienced by South Asian gay men in England
• 7 Honour beliefs and identity among British South Asian gay men
• 8 ‘You must keep your ‘honour’, a man without ‘honour’ is no man at all’: ‘honour, masculinity and violence in Afghanistan
• 9 The so-called honour killings of men by men in Turkey
• 10 A day in the life of a police officer working with male victims of HBA and forced marriages – some reflections
• 11 The Elm Foundation: the transition from a ‘women’s-only’ to a ‘gender-neutral’ domestic abuse organisation
• Index