The Everything Getting Pregnant Book

Professional, Reassuring Advice to Help You Conceive

Robin Elise Weiss

• Publisher: Everything
• Year: 2004
• Print ISBN: 9781593370343
• eBook ISBN: 9781440522796
• Topic: Medicine
• Subtopic: Gynecology, Obstetrics & Midwifery

For many couples, getting pregnant can be a harrowing and emotionally draining experience. In fact, one in every six couples of childbearing age has a problem conceiving. The Everything Getting Pregnant Book is a one-of-a-kind fertility book that outlines the steps to follow when planning for a pregnancy, such as discontinuing birth control methods, exercising, and eating well. This exhaustively researched guide also provides explanations of a wide-range of fertility treatments available today, what they entail, and their success rates - allowing parents to choose their treatment wisely.
The Everything Getting Pregnant Book helps readers understand:

• Assisted Reproductive Technology
• Fertility surgery
• Low-tech fertility aids
• Male and female factor infertility
• Medication therapy
• Menstrual cycle basics

Whether couples are thinking about pregnancy and want to plan ahead or are already trying and have not yet met with success, The Everything Getting Pregnant Book will have them getting up for 3 A.M. feedings in no time.

Chapter 1

Deciding to Have a Baby

The decision to have a baby is a very big one. There are many tough questions to ask yourself and your family. For instance, you need to look at your physical and mental health before making this decision. You may even need to address some financial issues. While the decision can be made on the spur of the moment, it’s best to plan ahead.

Are You Emotionally Ready?

As the old joke goes, “I won’t become my mother.” As everyone knows, these are famous last words.

Having a child is mentally and emotionally taxing. You will have new physical worries about your new baby and your body. You need to look at all the relationships around you as you begin to contemplate this journey.

Your Husband or Partner

You and your husband or partner have probably already thought about the kind of parents you want to be. Do you want to be the same type of parents you had? Do you want to be different? More importantly, how do the views you have match up with the ideas held by your partner?

The two of you need to be in the same place on the decision to have a child for the smoothest ride down the aisle of babes. If you and your partner see eye to eye on the decision to have a baby you’ve crossed a huge hurdle. Though not the only hurdle in your way, it is a large one.

Another hurdle that can be a real eye-opener if you and your partner haven’t discussed it is that of how to raise your children. This topic delves into many personal aspects of your life and your very essence of being. For example, what religion will you raise the child? How do you feel about discipline? Where will you live?

These may seem like no-brainers to you. Perhaps you feel you’ve already had these discussions with your partner. Even so, it can’t hurt to revisit the issues that are most important to you. And if you come across conflicting views don’t panic! It’s not the end to your child-bearing years. You haven’t ended before you’ve begun. Simply sit down and try to reach a compromise.

A compromise doesn’t have to mean perfect agreement. Perhaps you really want to move to the suburbs but your husband wants to stay in the city close to his job. Talk about the real issues under the surface. Is he worried about the commute? Is he worried about money? Are you concerned about crime and city schools? Perhaps there is a compromise you can make to satisfy all of the needs that are really important. The only way to find out is to talk about it.

Only 50 percent of pregnancies are actually planned ahead of time. That means that 50 percent of the people who are parents made these decisions along the way. Do not fear all is lost if you find yourself on opposite sides of the table on parenting issues.

Find a time that is calm and not hurried to hash things out. Don’t choose breakfast or dinner times but rather make it a quiet and comfortable discussion. Use “I” statements when stating how you feel. For example, “I am worried about living in the city with a new baby.” Rather than, “You don’t care if we raise the baby in the noisy city.”

Try not to discuss everything all at once. One or two major topics are about all anyone can handle in an evening. Also try not to make rash decisions or make compromises you can’t live with. Offer to sleep on it or to do more research. Use your network of friends and family to figure out how you wish to parent. Read books, talk to neighbors, and watch others as they raise their kids. You’ll navigate the paths ahead of you more easily than you thought if you talk it out.

It’s much easier to see both sides when you are sitting down and calmly and rationally discussing issues. Take a piece of paper and one of you should mark down the pros and cons of each of the ideas discussed. Seeing what you are discussing on paper can often clear up misunderstandings and give you a better idea of where your spouse stands on the issue. This better understanding often leads to agreement on information and future decisions. It also teaches you great conflict resolution skills! Try to use these quiet, nonthreatening tactics each time you address any issue that is important to you.

Your Parents

You may be concerned with how your parents will view you as a parent. If so, you are likely to see them partially as role models and partially as adversaries in the process of child-rearing. They will have advice that you may want to take, but they may also have advice that is simply not right for your family.

It’s okay to not raise your baby the same way either of your parents raised you. Just be aware that this can lead to some hurt feelings along the way. Explain to your parents and in-laws that you are doing what you feel is right for your baby given the information that is available today. Try not to let differences in parenting styles take center stage in your conversations.

Other Children

Subsequent children are a whole new ball game! Your other bundles of joy are getting older. They might think a new sibling is the neatest thing since sliced bread, or it could be the worst thing to happen in their lives. Prepare them with the information they need to know. You should offer age-specific information all along the way, from even the youngest child on up. Information can be in the form of books, videos, and exposure to other babies and small children. The older the child the more they will be able to grasp the concept of a new baby and the earlier you can talk to them about this. Younger children have very little concept of time and therefore have complications with being told too soon. It’s also wise to tell them only the information that they are asking for and not more information than they are ready to handle. If you’re unsure of the question that they are asking, try to probe them for more information about their question.

Check out local hospitals, birthing centers, and other educational centers for tips on preparing other children for a new baby. Many offer free sibling preparation classes. These classes usually discuss sibling rivalry, what having a new baby in the house is like, and the basics of baby care. It may also include a tour of the nursery.

Friends

Having a baby changes everything when it comes to your friends. If you have friends without children, you can expect more changes to your relationships with them than with your friends who already have children of their own. You simply are going through two different stages of life and this gap may enter into your relationship with your single or childless friends.

If you are having your first child, you will likely find that you will grow closer to your other friends with children in many cases. This may be because you have more in common, which can be nice.

However, you may find that you develop a parenting style that is radically different from that of your friends and you or your friends may find this different style threatening. What you need to remember is that parenting styles are a very personal choice. You need to do what works for your family and that may not be what works for your friends and their families. Reserve judgment, however, as all parents encounter challenges that will throw them from time to time.

If you are the first person in your social group to have a baby, then you might find that your friendships become more strained. This is truer after the baby comes than before. While your friends will be happy for you, they will often feel as if you are changing in a way that excludes them from the picture.

You can assure them that while you may be more limited in what you will be able to do, you will still be able to go out with them occasionally. You might also assure them that you will be perfectly capable of conversing about something other than your new baby! Having a baby doesn’t change who you are; it adds a new dimension.

Physical Fitness: A Whole New Definition

Physical preparedness for your new baby means looking at your lifestyle and deciding what is baby-friendly and what is not. It means making changes in how you live your life for a healthier pregnancy and baby.

You will likely want to look at your home. How old is your home? Do you have any lead paint? Do the slats between your stair railing meet safety requirements? Going through your house and looking for obvious and not-so-obvious problems and health hazards is really important to the safety of your new child.

Your car needs a checkup! Does your car measure up for the baby-to-be? Do you have room to add another person safely with a seat belt? How old is your car? Do you have an appropriate amount of car insurance? These are all things you’ll want to consider when you’re planning to have a baby. Do some research now so you’ll know what things you might need to be ready for a new addition to your family.

The fact is that smoke detectors save lives. There are two different types of detectors that can save your life: ones that detect smoke and ones that detect heat. Buying and installing both are great ways to protect your family.

Fiscal Responsibility: Family Style

While children do cost money, you can have a baby without being a millionaire. Having a baby does not have to break your bank. Planning ahead can really help you save money and become more fiscally responsible.

Health Insurance

The first thing that needs a checkup is your health insurance. You will want to know what is currently covered. Many employers offer plans that do not include maternity coverage, and people may choose these because they are not planning a pregnancy. Make sure that your plan does cover maternity care, and that you change your policy accordingly during an open enrollment period.

Once you’ve established that maternity coverage is intact or make arrangements to be covered, you can begin to find out what the coverage includes. You will want to know if it covers birthing centers or home birth in addition to a hospital birth. Will the coverage include any type of practitioner? For example, if your pregnancy became high risk would it cover a perinatologist, a doctor who specializes in high-risk pregnancies? Would it cover a certified nurse midwife, a nurse who takes care of low-risk pregnant women, if you wanted to go that route?

It is nice to have a flexible plan that allows you to select the practitioner of your choice. It is also desirable to have the opportunity to choose a facility from a wide range of choices rather than having to select from only one or two hospitals.

Coverage for well-baby care is something else you will absolutely need. This covers the normal care of well children to ensure that they are growing at a developmentally appropriate rate, and are receiving their vaccinations or immunizations in a timely manner. Beginning from your first visit right after birth until the age of one, there are at least six to eight visits made to your child’s pediatrician or doctor for well checkups. This does not include v...

Table of contents

• Cover Page
• Title Page
• Copyright
• Contents
• Top Ten Ways to Prepare for Pregnancy
• Foreword
• 1: Deciding to Have a Baby
• 2: Body Basics: Preparing for Pregnancy
• 3: Menstrual Cycle Basics
• 4: Sex: Procreative Recreation
• 5: Boosting Your Odds of Conception: Fertility Charting
• 6: Low-Tech Fertility Aids
• 7: Am I Pregnant?
• 8: Facing Fertility Problems
• 9: Male Factor Infertility
• 10: Female Factor Infertility
• 11: Pregnancy Loss
• 12: Secondary Infertility
• 13: Choosing a Fertility Specialist
• 14: Your Fertility Workup
• 15: Insemination as Treatment
• 16: Medication Therapy
• 17: Fertility Surgery
• 18: Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART)
• 19: Egg Donation
• 20: Third-Party Reproduction
• 21: Financing Fertility
• 22: Fertility Support
• 23: Congratulations! You’re Pregnant!
• Appendix A: Resources
• Appendix B: Basal Body Temperature Chart