
- 288 pages
- English
- ePUB (mobile friendly)
- Available on iOS & Android
About this book
A hilarious, irreverent, and touching account of one seriously Christian girl's struggle to please any available savior.... K. Dawn Goodwin's holy crusade to be the Lord's sexiest spokesperson began at the tenderâbut far from innocentâage of seven. And while she always thought Jesus was kinda hot, even He could not quiet the avalanche of prepubescent lust and the burning wish for a man to find her, like Bathsheba, comely enough to spy on. Crucified by soulless pretty girls and cruel jocks whose mission it was to make her life hell on earth, adolescent Dawn, painfully obsessed with her own ugliness, found slivers of sweet relief in dry-humping the scrawniest guy on the wrestling team and scribbling bodice rippers starring her favorite teacher. But, Praise Jesus, at least her virginity was intact. Until college, where, thanks to a seriously sculpted Jew, Dawn's chastity crumbled like the Tower of Babylon. Her sex marathons kept her shouting, "Hallelujah!" but with her body image in apocalyptic disarray, her future husband unable to faith-heal her as promised, and the Bible threatening an extra-crispy afterlife, Dawn would have to face down her demons. Which was okay, because they were kinda hot too....
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Information
Table of contents
- Cover
- Back Cover
- Authors Bio
- Title Page
- Copyright Page
- Disclaimer
- Dedication
- Contents
- Acknowledgments
- Chapter 1: The Girl from the Show-Me-Yours State
- Chapter 2: Girl-on-Girl Socks
- Chapter 3: Relocating to Babylon
- Chapter 4: Church of Christ Barbie
- Chapter 5: In a Cabin Down by the River
- Chapter 6: Our God-Given Talents
- Chapter 7: Reflections of a Mirror Addict
- Chapter 8: Lunch on the Shitter (One Teenâs Walk with Christ)
- Chapter 9: Thespian Sex
- Chapter 10: In Wondershorts We Pray
- Chapter 11: The Art of Sucking
- Chapter 12: The Second Coming, Starring Sonny Crockett
- Chapter 13: Soul Mates Can Be Annoying
- Chapter 14: The Great Band-Aid in the Sky
- Chapter 15: Wonât the Real Savior Please Stand Up
- Chapter 16: Americaâs Next Top Girlfriend
- Chapter 17: Special Forces
- Chapter 18: After He Goes