Parentology

Everything You Wanted to Know about the Science of Raising Children but Were Too Exhausted to Ask

Dalton Conley

• Publisher: Simon & Schuster
• Year: 2014
• Print ISBN:
  9781476712666
• Subtopic: Marriage & Family Sociology
• eBook ISBN:
  9781476712673

An award-winning scientist offers his unorthodox approach to childrearing: “Parentology is brilliant, jaw-droppingly funny, and full of wisdom…bound to change your thinking about parenting and its conventions” (Amy Chua, author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother).

If you’re like many parents, you might ask family and friends for advice when faced with important choices about how to raise your kids. You might turn to parenting books or simply rely on timeworn religious or cultural traditions. But when Dalton Conley, a dual-doctorate scientist and full-blown nerd, needed childrearing advice, he turned to scientific research to make the big decisions.

In Parentology, Conley hilariously reports the results of those experiments, from bribing his kids to do math (since studies show conditional cash transfers improved educational and health outcomes for kids) to teaching them impulse control by giving them weird names (because evidence shows kids with unique names learn not to react when their peers tease them) to getting a vasectomy (because fewer kids in a family mean smarter kids). Conley encourages parents to draw on the latest data to rear children, if only because that level of engagement with kids will produce solid and happy ones.

Ultimately these experiments are very loving, and the outcomes are redemptive—even when Conley’s sassy kids show him the limits of his profession. Parentology teaches you everything you need to know about the latest literature on parenting—with lessons that go down easy. You’ll be laughing and learning at the same time.

Table of contents

• Cover
• Dedication
• Preface: “Parentology” Defined
• 1. What Not to Expect When You’re Expecting
• 2. Tying the Knot (and I Don’t Mean Marriage—or the Umbilicus)
• 3. But Maybe You Should Name Your Boy Sue: What’s Not in a Name
• 4. The Best Thesaurus Is a Human Thesaurus: How to Read to Your Kids
• 5. Practicing the Delicate Arts of Extortion and Bribery (How Else Are American Children Supposed to Catch Up to the Finnish People in Math?)
• 6. GET THEM THE PUPPY! GET THEM THE PUPPY!
• 7. Shut the F* Up, Dad! Discipline (or Lack Thereof)
• 8. Turn Your Feral Child into a Nice American Capitalist (You Know You Want To)
• 9. If It’s Organic, Don’t Panic—and Other Tips I Learned in Berkeley for Drugging One’s Kids
• 10. Go Ahead and Get Divorced—Your Kids’ Genes Will Never Notice
• Acknowledgments
• About Dalton Conley
• Sources for Additional Reading
• Notes
• Copyright