The Everything Guide to Pregnancy over 35

From conquering your fears to assessing health risks—all you need to have a happy, healthy nine months

Brette Sember

• Publisher: Everything
• Year: 2007
• Print ISBN: 9781598692457
• eBook ISBN: 9781605502373
• Topic: Medicine
• Subtopic: Gynecology, Obstetrics & Midwifery

With more and more women waiting to start a family, it's encouraging to know that you can have a healthy pregnancy over 35-and into your 40s-if you make well-informed choices about your prenatal care. Whether you're considering parenting for the first time or starting over, The Everything Guide to Pregnancy over 35 covers the physical, emotional, and social implications of a 35+ pregnancy to help ensure the healthiest and happiest nine months-and beyond.

Packed with expert advice, plus helpful tips from moms just like you, this reassuring guide shows you how to:

• Improve your chances of getting pregnant after 35-including fertility treatment options
• Select the best care options-whether with a doctor or midwife
• Incorporate vitamins, proper nutrition, and exercise into your lifestyle
• Weigh the benefits and risks of prenatal testing
• Understand the changes happening to your body
• Prepare for labor, delivery, and recovery
• Assess financial and career considerations
• And, most importantly, welcome a new baby into your life!

With its supportive, straightforward approach, The Everything Guide to Pregnancy over 35 is the one book you need to dispel the rumors, understand the risks, and enjoy the rewards of this exciting time!

Chapter 1
Deciding to Become a Parent

Deciding to become a parent is one of the most significant decisions you can make in your life. For some women, it is something they have always known they wanted. For others, it is something they realize over time. Thinking about this decision can be emotional, and it can be even more complicated when you are over age 35. Do you really want to be a mother? Can you get pregnant? Can you have a healthy baby? These are all questions many women over 35 confront, work through, and find the answers to as well.

Evaluating If You Want a Child

Choosing to have a child is a complicated decision, one women have been dealing with ever since they were able to control their fertility. Not all women are meant to be or want to become mothers. Sometimes it may seem that society simply expects you to have a child. You've probably dealt with relatives and friends asking when and if you'll have children. By the time you reach age 35, the questioning can get a bit old!

Deciding whether or you not want to become a mother is a personal decision and one that you must make on your own or with your partner, if you have one. What's right for other women may not be right for you, and you must make a choice that will help you shape your life the way you want it.

Tick, Tock

When you are over age 35, you may feel pressured to make a decision and make it quickly. After all, you think, that biological clock is steadily moving forward. However, this is a decision that can't be rushed and must be made in its own time. You need to look at your life as a whole and evaluate what you really want, what will truly make you happy, and what elements of your life are non-negotiable. While it is true that women have a limited window of fertility, it is also true that women are having children at later stages of life now more than ever. The last thing you want to do is rush into something without examining your true desires.

What to Consider

Having a baby is a momentous occurrence that will influence every single area of your life. It is truly a life-changing event, one that most women who choose to follow that path find changes things for the better. Becoming a mother alters who you are forever and reconfigures your life permanently. Sound scary? It is a bit, but becoming a mother also changes your life in such a way that you simply can't and wouldn't want to imagine life without your child.

At this stage in your life, though, this is a choice that you want to think through completely.

As a parent, you will experience changes in all aspects of your life, including these:

• Finances
• Career
• Living arrangement/housing
• Free time
• Friendships
• Family relationships
• Long-term goals and plans
• Energy
• Emotions
• Health

You need to weigh the considerable impact a child will have on these areas of your life and decide if these changes are ones you want to have in your life. It's okay if you decide that you don't want to live a life with the changes a child will bring; many women make that same choice and live a happy and completely fulfilled life. You must make a decision that is right for you.

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Child-free living is a growing trend. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, in 1975, about one in eleven women were living a child-free life by the age of 44. But by 1993, that number had risen to approximately one in six. At that time, 34.9 million American families were child free, and only 33.3 million families had a child under the age of 18.

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Your Various Options

If you think you are interested in having a child, you have many, many options available to you. You can have a baby the traditional way, through a pregnancy with your partner. Traditional pregnancy doesn't work out for everyone, and you may decide you don't want to follow that route. There are other options available to you if you reach one of these conclusions. You can also adopt a baby, use insemination, use an egg donor, use a surrogate, or adopt an older child.

If you love children and want them to be a part of your life, there are other options and considerations. One choice is to become a foster parent. Foster parents provide loving homes for children who are removed from their parents' homes due to abuse or neglect. Foster parents care for the children until they are returned to their parents or until they are freed for adoption.

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Learn more about foster parenting through the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, online at www.davethomasfoundationforadoption.org or by phone at 800-275-3832. Get more information about Big Brothers/Big Sisters of America at their Web site www.bbbs.org and use their locator to find your local agency.

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There are also Big Brother/Big Sister programs that pair adults with kids who need guidance and friendship. Many schools have mentoring programs where adults help kids read, assist with homework, teach the basics of business, or just provide support. You might also consider a career change so that you could become a teacher and work with children every day.

Making Room in Your Life for a Child

If you decide that you do want to bring a child into your life, you already realize that you'll have to make some changes. Pregnancy brings many physical changes that immediately impact your life. Caring for a baby, toddler, preschooler, and child of any age brings its own challenges, rewards, and needs. You will always be changing and growing with your child throughout the years to come.

Here is a small snapshot of some of the changes you might find yourself making as you raise a child:

• Pregnancy: You may find yourself to be extremely tired at times and unable to do some of things you enjoy, like jogging or rock climbing. You'll surrender to the physical changes and buy a new wardrobe. Alcohol, cigarettes, certain fish and cheeses, and many medications will be off limits.
• Newborn: As you work to get your body back, you may find that it won't be entirely yours for quite a long time as you nurse, get up for nighttime feedings, and feel completely physically attached to your baby. Leaving her may be difficult, and you'll find that your living space explodes into a complete baby world.
• Older baby: You'll be shocked at how quickly your little one outgrows each size. You'll need a sitter if you want to head out to a movie. If you're back to work, planning for day care alone is not enough. You'll also need backup day care in case baby gets sick.
• Toddler: The days of spending an afternoon at the mall are long gone, since naptime cuts into the day. If you thought you were tired carrying a baby around, you'll soon find that toddlers require just as much energy and even more patience. Mealtimes can be complicated with picky eaters.
• Preschool: Play dates are a big part of your life and by now you know the theme songs to many children's television shows by heart. Your living area is probably overflowing with toys made up of many little pieces. Staying out late with your little one isn't an option since any bedtime later than 8 p.m. throws everything out of whack.

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What are the Mommy Wars?

The Mommy Wars are a difference of opinion among some women about the best way to raise children. Some mothers firmly believe that it is wrong for mothers to work and that all mothers should stay home with their children. Other mothers firmly believe that working while mothering is the best option. There is no right answer; each woman must make a decision about what is best for her and her family.

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Impact...

Table of contents

• Title Page
• Contents
• Top Ten Reasons to Have a Baby after Age 35
• Introduction
• Chapter 1: Deciding to Become a Parent
• Chapter 2: Avenues to Parenthood
• Chapter 3: Fertility
• Chapter 4: Preconception Planning
• Chapter 5: Staying Healthy During Pregnancy
• Chapter 6: How an Over-35 Pregnancy Is Managed
• Chapter 7: Risks
• Chapter 8: Prenatal Testing
• Chapter 9: Pregnancy Loss
• Chapter 10: Preparing Your Family for a Baby
• Chapter 11: Protecting Your Family
• Chapter 12: Feeling Good Throughout Your Pregnancy
• Chapter 13: Loving Your Pregnant Self
• Chapter 14: Commemorating Your Pregnancy and Newborn
• Chapter 15: Labor and Delivery
• Chapter 16: Cesarean Sections (C-Sections)
• Chapter 17: Recovery
• Chapter 18: Working and Parenting
• Chapter 19: Life As an Older Mom
• Chapter 20: Your Health after Pregnancy
• Appendix A: Helpful Web Sites
• Appendix B: Additional Resources
• Copyright