In an ideal world, weâd all be able to afford our own pad â a bijoux space that reflects our personality and offers us a sanctuary from the rest of the world. Or for the more pragmatic, a facilitation point for dressing/sleeping/watching TV and, when lucky, the occasional romantic encounter. A place where neat-freak tendencies can be indulged, or for others of a less orderly persuasion, somewhere to leave all their worldly possessions strewn everywhere with no fear of nagging.
However, the stark reality these days is that it can take a while to get a foothold on the property ladder, and therefore compromises must be made in the short term. Becoming a flatmate or, conversely, letting out a spare room to bolster cash flow so that the mortgage or rent can be paid, are ideal alternatives to living with your parents. Or squatting.
In fact, chances are, if youâre reading this, are under thirty and live in one of the UKâs major cities, itâs highly likely that you are living in a house or flat share set-up. In fact, according to www.spareroom.co.uk, one in eight flat sharers is actually over forty. Given the rise in rents and property prices over the last ten years, there has been a startling increase in âprofessional rentersâ â people who need to balance the career advantages of living in a city with the sky-high costs of urban housing. At the same time, thereâs been a proliferation in property owners with crippling mortgages who need to rent out a room or two for a period of time to boost their income. So letâs get it straight now: house or flat shares are not just for students.
In fact, itâs estimated that by 2020 two out of five of all private households will enter into private sharing arrangements: households made up of people living together who are not related or in a relationship.
So, whether youâre a student or a professional sharer, there are rules to be observed â some official, some unofficial. And there is truth in the old saying âYou donât know anyone properly until youâve lived with them.â From experience, I can tell you that having a mate who is great fun to go shopping or out on the town with is one thing, but sharing a property together is quite another, especially if you have different approaches to domestic bliss.
One of my earliest experiences of sharing was with a friend who, on the face of it, was ideal flatmate material. Always perfectly dressed with an immaculate manicure and blow-dry, I assumed sheâd have a similar approach to housekeeping.
How wrong could I be?
Like a one-woman Hurricane Winnie, she could decimate a room in ten minutes. I havenât seen such a talent before or since. Yes, she was a joy to be around, but her penchant for noisy nocturnal activities became a little too much â and that was only in the first week. By month two, she had developed her own âcodeâ for when she was entertaining at home: a bra hung on the front door. If I saw the lingerie on display, then I knew there was a fair chance Iâd find her and some beau in flagrante delicto, either over the kitchen counter or on the lounge floor. Not quite the warm welcome I was expecting.
Clearly, when looking for a house share or advertising a room for rent itâs reasonable to outline a few ground rules to make sure all parties are on the same page. Otherwise, like me, you may just find yourself in a situation where you have to have that uncomfortable chat with your flatmate about her handcuffs being left on the dining table. Not great when my mother decided to drop in for an impromptu visit. And yes, dear reader, that really did happen.
If approached well, sharing a house or flat can be great â someone to go halves on the chores and split the bills with, and perhaps, if youâre lucky enough, to lend you clothing/money/a shoulder to cry on in a crisis.
So, how does one go about finding that elusive perfect flatmate? What are the golden dos and donâts?
1. Where to look
Back in the good old days, finding a flat or house share usually meant scouring the classified section of your local paper or looking on the notice board in the local Post Office or newsagent. Trying to ascertain from a forty-word advert where exactly the property was, if it was habitable, and if you would actually want to share with the individual in question was a little tricky. Much time could be wasted visiting hovels that didnât meet your expectations.
Now, however, life is easier. A plethora of websites â not dissimilar to online dating, one might suggest â are available that provide full details and photographs of countless properties, along with descriptions of potential flatmates. Those seeking a room can also post their profile and property criteria and await automatic matching.
The main sites, including www.spareroom.co.uk,
www.easyroommate.com and www.flatmaterooms.co.uk all work in a slightly different way, but generally itâs free to join, then you pay to upgrade in order to either enhance your profile (as a lodger) or property listing (as a landlord), as well as to access any advanced features. Expect to spend between twenty to forty quid, depending on how long you run your ad for. As it means that you are likely to find your next abode or lodger without leaving the comfort of your duvet or desk, Iâd suggest itâs probably money well spent.
One thing I would mention though â donât forget that everyone will be trying to portray themselves in the best light. So, for example, if someoneâs profile says that they are a âlight smokerâ, on meeting them qualify exactly what that means. If you canât stand the whiff of Marlboro Lights and think that two a week is an excessive habit, yet your potential flatmate has just cut down from seventy a day to fifty, that slight difference of opinion is going to become a wide gulf very quickly indeed.
By all means be honest about what you can and canât tolerate â just be polite about it and donât come across as judgemental. Also, be truthful about your budget in your profile; if you can afford to pay ÂŁ500 a month, but that has to include all bills, say so. Better to be upfront so that you only look at rooms you can afford, rather than falling for a great room with someone you think you could really get on with, only to realise that you canât afford it.
If you are placing an advert for a room that is available, above all make sure the photos you use are an honest representation to avoid wasting everyoneâs time. No Photoshop or quirky Instagram filters here, thank you. If the room has an en-suite, or comes with secure off-road parking or any other unusual features such as a private balcony or a river view, take pictures of that as well.
If you employ a cleaner, and the rent covers a contribution towards the costs, thatâs worth mentioning too. Most sites have features that show the location of the property in relation to transport links, as well as a form you can complete that shows how much the bills are etc.
Should this particular route feel a little too clinical (or scary) donât forget the good old-fashioned âword of mouthâ method â for that read âFacebookâ. Even a friend of a friend of a friend could have some kind of recommendation, and itâs some comfort, even if small, to know that the individual in question isnât a complete stranger.
Better still, if they are on the worldsâ largest social network, you can even (within reason) have a bit of an online stalk to find out who else they know and what they get up to in their spare time. Donât forget, though, the reverse also applies.
Top tip: Unless you know the person exceptionally well and socialise with them regularly, avoid sharing with someone you work with. Everyone needs time apart, and having to deal with the person who used all the hot water or bog roll that morning in the office doesnât exactly make for a good professional relationship.
Also, the temptation to gossip to your co-workers about your flatmateâs bad habits or love life may prove irresistible, particularly if theyâve really hacked you off and you need to moan to someone. I speak from experience. Likewise, itâs not a great idea to take âhumorousâ pic...