The Ultimate Cure for Depression

Leveraging Science and Faith for Total Healing

Joy Kwakuyi

• Publisher: Morgan James Publishing
• Year: 2020
• ISBN:
  9781642797725
• Topic: Medicina
• Subtopic: Enfermería psiquiátrica y de salud mental

The Ultimate Cure for Depression is the first step to winning the battle against depression as Dr. Joy Kwakuyi presents the journey to permanent victory.

With more than ten years of experience in the mental health field and thirty years in Christian ministry on three continents, board-certified psychiatric nurse practitioner and pastor Dr. Joy Kwakuyi provides an authoritative guide to achieving victory over depression and becoming fulfilled in life within The Ultimate Cure for Depression. Throughout the pages of The Ultimate Cure for Depression those who are affected by depression learn how to:

• Achieve lasting recovery
• Benefit from medications, complementary therapies, and working with professional
• Regularize their sleep and appetite and stay energized
• Truly enjoy their relationships, improve their work productivity, and love what they do
• Derive eternal benefits from the darkest moments of their life

Chapter 1

Living in a Dark Place

“Here is the tragedy: When you are the victim of depression, not only do you feel utterly helpless and abandoned by the world, you also know that very few people can understand, or even begin to believe, that life can be this painful.”

– Giles Andreae

Think about this for a moment: You are the only one who truly knows what you are going through in your life. Others may see or hear about what you are going through, but no one will have a first-hand appreciation of your deepest emotions. You know that you could be truly joyful. You know that you could be truly satisfied and fulfilled in life. You know that you could be living a truly meaningful life. But you are not. Is it your fault? Probably not. Just like the average person, you dreamed of building a truly happy life. Not only that but you also worked hard and pursued your dreams to some extent.

For all intents and purposes, you may have achieved some success in your endeavors. You might be successful as a professional in your chosen career. Many others look up to you. You may have a beautiful family. Your neighbors and friends consider you and your spouse a perfect couple. You may even be known as a good Christian. You try to be friendly, and you are generous with your smiles in public. Of course, whenever you are asked, “How are you?” You respond, “I am fine. Thank you.” You say this because that is what our society expects from us. That is the norm. Here comes the million-dollar question. Read it slowly; then pause and think before answering, “Are—you—really—fine?”

You’re Not Alone

If your answer to the above question was anything less than, “Yes, of course,” I would like you to know that you are not alone. Of course, “not fine” can mean many different things. However, if your response means that you have any form of depressed mood or low emotional state, I would like you to know that you belong to a large group of people worldwide who share similar responses. Depression is more common than we like to admit. About 300 million people suffer from depression across the world. Depression is a major contributor to the global burden of disease and is considered as a leading cause of disability world-wide.² In the United States, 17.3 million adults, representing 7.1 percent of the adult population, have had at least one major depressive episode in the year 2017 alone.³

There are many kinds of depression. Depression falls on a wide spectrum starting from just feeling down as a result of an adverse event all the way through to having a severe, recurring major depressive disorder. What is more, depression is not a respecter of persons. Both great and small, wealthy and poor, religious and atheist fall victim to depression year after year. Again, you are not alone. Several others are walking this road right now as you read this.

How Bad Is It?

If you are like most people, you have been dealing with depression for a while. You might have become acquainted with sadness. You cry yourself to sleep. You say to yourself, “I don’t know happiness.” You tried to just get used to it, but it is rather hard to get used to. You tried multiple remedies on your own, sought help from several professionals, and followed their recommendations. You took several antidepressants over the years. You went to therapy. You cannot sleep no matter how hard you try. You took sleeping pills with little benefit. Maybe you belong to the other group of people who oversleep and cannot get out of bed.

You meet your best friend over coffee. It is a safe environment. You lament, “My life sucks! Despite my career success, I feel empty. I doubt if there is any such thing as true joy. Nothing brings me joy.” You continue, “People think I am a happy person, but they are mistaken. What they don’t know is that I put on fake smiles. I don’t even know why I am still alive. I wish I can end it all, but I am too chicken.” You quickly assure your friend, “Don’t get me wrong. I will never do anything to myself, but I have virtually no interest in living.” She tries to make some recommendations, but you interject, “Listen, I have tried everything—medications, meditation, yoga, exercise, therapy, et cetera, but I can’t seem to get out of this dark place. Nothing works!”

Behind those broad smiles lies a deep, dark hole of persistent sadness that sticks to you and never lets go. A deep ugly hole of emotional pain lies beneath the facade. It is broad daylight, but in your private world, it is a dark, dark place. It is as if there is a dark cloud hanging over your head. You say to yourself, “I am worried that I will never get better. I am afraid that things will only go downhill from here.”

Grave, But Not Beyond Repair

In the spring of 2018, a middle-aged woman called my office and made an appointment to see me for an evaluation. Let’s call her Paula. She found my practice profile via online research and noticed that several of my patients had left positive reviews from their interactions with me. She was also drawn to me because she noticed that I am a Christian minister and she wanted to explore all available resources, including her faith, in resolving her problems. She is a senior law enforcement officer who received several awards for her outstanding work in her city. As you can imagine, Paula is a role model for many.

In her private life, Paula is divorced, the mother of a teenage son, who is sixteen years old, and a teenage daughter, who is fourteen years old. She has a domestic partner, and the couple has been together for ten years. She has twenty years of experience in her field, works a sixty-hour week, and makes a six-figure annual salary. Her partner is a business executive. Paula’s main stressor at home is difficulty showing affection to her partner while convincing her fourteen-year-old, who is fast-becoming wayward, that her mother still loves her despite breaking up with her father. However, that is not her main problem.

Paula’s battles with depression started in her early adulthood. Her father neglected her as a child, and her mother raised her in resource-poor conditions. Because of this, she assumed an adult role at a rather early age of sixteen. She ran away from home with a wealthy boyfriend with whom she used and sold illegal drugs and engaged in some other illegal activities that resulted in the loss of lives. She almost emptied one box of tissues as she narrated her ordeal to me. Five years ago, Paula became severely depressed. She denied having nightmares or flashbacks of any past trauma. She became enveloped with a dark cloud of persistent guilt, low self-esteem, hopelessness, pessimism, insomnia, and sadness that never went away. Though she became a Christian and goes to church occasionally, she did not believe that God would ever forgive her because, according to her, her sins were “too grave.” Paula denied suicidal ideation.

As I usually do with all my patients, I conducted a thorough psychiatric evaluation with a comprehensive history and made recommendations, but I allowed Paula to determine her preferred treatment approach. She wanted me to leverage all resources available to me in helping her. That is just what I did, and that is what I love to do. I prescribed medications to her. I took her through Christian-based cognitive behavioral therapy. We studied scriptures in the Holy Bible that are key to her healing. We read the scriptures and prayed together on several occasions. After three months of clinical and faith-based interventions, Paula reported to me that her symptoms were completely resolved and that she was more hopeful about her life than she had ever been. Of course, she continues to utilize her treatment plan today with no plans of quitting any time soon.

Just like Paula, there are many people who are merely existing but not thriving. They have thrown in the towel. They have conceded defeat. They are merely spectators in life. Life means nothing to them. They are watching life roll by without the thrill of participating in it. At best, they live their lives in a black and white television mode and never see how colorful life could be. This makes me sad—really sad!

There is Hope!

With that said, I have an obligation to inform you that you have put in far more effort than the average depressed person. The average person with depression is usually unmotivated and is not actively seeking help. The good news is that you are putting in an effort by reading this book. I am glad that you are searching for answers. When I set out to write this book, you are the one I dreamed about. I wanted to write a book that would make a difference in your life. I did a lot of soul-searching. I prayed for direction. I thought of my interactions with the many individuals that I have worked with.

Yes, you are the one I saw. Wherever you are, I want you to know that I feel drawn to you. There is a spiritual connection I cannot deny. Initially, I thought that I did not have time in my busy schedule to write a book. Nevertheless, I felt compelled. You may feel like you’re sinking into a bottomless pit in quicksand. But wait! Hold on! Help is coming!

Something Must Be Done

Just as I started to write, I heard the news—A seemingly successful healthcare professional, whom I had worked with rather closely, had just taken his own life. I tell myself, “Something must be done!” I feel that time will run out if we do not act swiftly enough.

In the following chapters, I will explore my journey and my unique process for achieving total and lasting healing from depression. I hope that you will find in the following chapters tested, proven, and usable tools that you can apply right away in your life. This book was written with you in mind. It is meant to be a companion to aid you in your journey to total healing and lasting health.

Chapter 2

The Making of a Healer

“The planet does not need more ‘successful people.’ The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of all kinds.”

– Dalai Lama

You have heard the saying, “Nothing happens by accident.” That is what I had on my mind when I started writing this chapter. Healers are not made in an instant. If you spoke to any healing professional, you would marvel at their respective journeys. It is interesting to note that our journeys are, by themselves, a source of healing. In this chapter, I will share my story with you. You might ask, “Why share your story? Doesn’t that make you vulnerable?” Of course, it does, but wait. Will it bring healing? If yes, then isn’t it worth sharing? If one man’s vulnerability would bring healing to many, then it is a thousand times worth the cost. According to Les Brown, “Telling our stories is an act of generosity.”

Coming back to the idea that nothing happens by accident, I am a firm believer in the fact that although our decisions go to shape and color the outcomes we get in life, our lives’ journeys are also divinely masterminded. Our lives are a product of this delicate balance. To that effect, I can assure you that if you’re reading this book our paths are not crossing by accident. All along, we were meant to be on the journey of life together. All along, my life has been preparing me to become the one who is walking on your emotional journey with you. We should not walk this important journey as strangers. I will share parts of my life’s journey with you to help you understand how I came to be with you. I would like you to know the factors that influenced my life’s journey and the lessons that I learned along the way. My desire is that you and I can connect on a deeper level.

The Beginning

I was born and raised in Ghana, West Africa. I grew up in a close-knit, lower-middle-income, Christian family that I am truly grateful for. My early childhood years were marked by bittersweet experiences. Being the youngest of my mother’s eight children and the seventh of my father’s eight children (I hope you can do the math!), I was glad that I had several older siblings, who were successful in their own rights and acted as role models to me, a father who was the headteacher of our primary school and an academic icon in the community, and a mother who is my spiritual tower. However, I had my fair share of emotional difficulties which help me to empathize with those who are hurting. Somewhere along the line, my parents separated for several years, and my older brother and I were raised by our mother who had no profession or financial support.

Let me interrupt that thought and express how much I detest instability in relationships. I cannot finish telling you how many times in my career and ministry that I have heard a story that goes like this, “My childhood was perfect until my parents divorced.” I also cannot tell you how many lives have been damaged by relationship break-ups. That is why I am an advocate for healthy relationships. Once a relationship is healthy, it will last, and it will be a source of healing rather than a source of ailment. Healthy relationships are a product of individuals with healthy mindsets, who are fully committed to making things work despite the challenges that they may face. I digress!

For a period of four years, my break-away family unit was enveloped by a cloak of lack and misery. I remember my brother and I waking up each morning and waiting indoors until my mother (who woke up by four o’clock each morning) returned from mending torn clothes for people in our neighborhood for pennies. It was only if she returned home with a few pennies that my brother and I could buy or make breakfast and head off to school. I learned the skill of simultaneously eating breakfast while carrying books on my head and walking to school in the morning. We were only sustained by our solid faith in God that we inherited from our mother. Somehow, even in the midst of these difficulties, I always emerged at the very top of my class in terms of academic performance and personal conduct. Never forget that despite our challenges God always has a special plan for our lives. Never forget that no matter how hopeless your situation becomes God is always up to something!

Later in life, it became clear that God had been preparing me to become an agent of hope and healing to many for years to come. As the years rolled by, I noticed that I repeatedly found myself in situations where I served as a channel of healing and a beacon of hope. It is ironic because I saw myself as the youngest and the least, plus I was an unplanned child, but God had a plan. For the remainder of my years in school, everywhere I went, I naturally assumed the role of a leader. I was selected as class president many times in grade school, senior prefect and students’ chaplain in high school, and the president of two student organizations while in college, and I served as a leader at the national level. I found myself delivering vision and a sense of direction to many and I could not escape it.

A Channel of Hope

Many years ago, after completing my first bachelor’s degree in Ghana, I worked as an agricultural advisor helping farmers to enhance their livelihoods by growing crops for the export market. I learned a great deal about the process and importance of being an agent of hope. I drove long distances and long hours, often alone, on far-away countryside roads through lush green vegetation. A mission to deliver hope and healing to hurting people fueled me on. For some of my clients, putting one meal on the table (was there even a table?) was a miracle.

Though I am short in stature, the sight of the towering tropical African flora, particularly the Baobab tree, constantly reminded me of my role as a beacon of hope to many. A fully-grown Baobab tree is huge, reaching to about one hundred feet high and thirty-five feet of trunk circumference. I was motivated! I wanted to do more to help my folks. My wife and I, then newly married, went on to England where I obtained my master’s degree in agribusiness management at the University of London. After that, the opportunity came for my wife and me to relocate to the United States. At that time, I realized that my mission as a channel of hope and healing had just begun.

Once in the United States, my career took a detour because of an unusual occurrence. While I was in the process of opening my very first U.S. bank account at Chase Bank in Brooklyn, New York, I received an interview on the spot and got a job as a personal banker, moving from first-time bank customer to a banker within hours. Thanks to Dwayne Winter for identifying my potential! That led to my next assignment as a premier client manager and assistant vice president at the Bank of America in West Hartford, Connecticut. I never forgot that I was meant to be a beacon of hope.

In my banking career, I had the privilege of helping individuals and families to plan their finances. This was as exhilarating as it was challenging. You can imagine the culture shock that I experienced moving from helping rural farmers in Africa to helping grow financial wealth in America’s financial capital region. Beyond my resilience and my ability to adapt to changing circumstances and beyond my curiosity to learn new concepts and excel, I was determined to put smiles on the faces of my clients. I was virtually a healer in a turbulent financial system as I consistently helped to calm emotions. I enjoyed the adventure and loved my job because I worked directly with individuals to protect and grow something that they treasured—their financial assets. However, I did not find fulfillment in my banking career. I found the banking system to be too aggressive for me, as I was brought up to appreciate humanitarian values over material pursuits.

I did some soul-searching. I wanted to discover the real me so I could become my true self. I remembered that when I was a young boy growing up in Africa, my original dream was to become a medical doctor. I used to joke to my friends, “Medicine or suicide!” Now I know not to make such expensive jokes. After high school, I could not gain admission to medical school. With only two medical schools in Ghana at the time, there was a limited number of openings for a large number of candidates. “What a bummer!” I said to myself. It was at this time that I changed my career plans and studied agriculture for my first degree. While working in banking, I researched ways to accomplish my childhood dream. I did not want to forfeit my income and enroll in medical school. I thought that would be u...