East is East

Ab Khan-Din, Ayub Khan Din

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2012
• Topic: Literature
• eBook ISBN:
  9781780011110
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

The play that gave birth to the smash-hit film - a wonderful comedy about growing up in multiracial Salford.

The six Khan children, entangled in arranged marriages and bell-bottoms, are trying to find their way growing up in 1970s Salford. They are all caught between their Pakistani father's insistence on Asian traditions, their English mother's laissez-faire attitude, and their own wish to become citizens of the modern world.

Ayub Khan Din's play East is East was first performed at Birmingham Repertory Studio Theatre in October 1996 in a co-production by Tamasha Theatre Company, the Royal Court Theatre Company and Birmingham Repertory Company, before transferring to the Royal Court, London. It was later adapted into a feature film, with a screenplay by the author, that became one of the most successful British films ever made.

East is East won the John Whiting Award in 1996 and was nominated for the Olivier Award for Best New Comedy in 1998.

Act Two, Scene One

MEENAH and TARIQ are sat with a plate of bacon and sausages between them. MEENAH gets up and sprays air freshener around. SALEEM tries to cover the food.

TARIQ. ’Kinell, Meenah, watch what you’re doing!

MEENAH. It stinks of burnt bacon in here, me dad’ll smell it a mile off.

TARIQ. Chuck some curry powder about, that’ll cover it.

She goes into the kitchen and comes out sprinkling curry powder around.

How long’s me mam been at the hospital?

MEENAH. ’Bout an hour, we got plenty of time. Where’s Saleem, not like him to miss a fry up?

TARIQ. Said he’d be late, something to do with his model, said to save him some though.

MEENAH. He can piss off, he should be taking the risk if he wants to eat. ’Kin college boy. Me mam’s mad, she keeps buying him felt-tip pens from the market. He’s got ’em all piled up upstairs. Even Auntie Annie gets them for him now, he’ll be able to open a shop soon.

TARIQ. See that dressing gown me dad bought for Sajit, just because he’s getting the chop?

MEENAH (cynically). Yeah right, it’ll look great under his parka, you spoke to our Abdul yet?

TARIQ. I tried to, but he won’t say owt.

We hear a knock on the door, they both freeze.

MEENAH. Who is that?

She goes into the parlour, TARIQ picks up the plate of food ready to run.

(Off.) It’s alright, it’s only Saleem.

She goes out of the parlour to let him in. They both come into the living-room, SALEEM carrying his portfolio.

SALEEM. I hope you saved me some of that?

He grabs some sausage and bacon.

MEENAH. Alright Saleem, it’s not leaving the frigging country, ’kinell, he’s like a bleedin’ gannet. (She mimics SALEEM grabbing the food.)

TARIQ and MEENAH laugh.

SALEEM. Oh cool it Meenah, you’re a drag.

MEENAH and TARIQ laugh at this.

MEENAH (taking the mickey). Yeah, right, Saleem, I’ll cool it, hey yeah. Let’s go to college. Cool it! Who the fuck do you think you are?

Suddenly the door opens behind them. They all scream at the prospect of it being GEORGE, but it is only MANEER.

Ahhh!

SALEEM. Ahhh!

TARIQ. Ahhh!

MANEER. I can smell that from outside!

TARIQ. Where did you get a front door key from, Gandhi?

MANEER. Off me dad.

TARIQ. Can you believe that, old enough to get married to some bird who dresses like Sinbad the sailor, with a hole through her nose, and he gives Gandhi his own key.

MEENAH. What a twat!

MANEER. Yours is called Nigget, not Sinbad.

TARIQ. Nigget! Bleeding Nigget! What sort of a come on is that? Nigget my lovely, shed those silken pantaloons and lay your head on my palliasse.

SALEEM. Thought about what you’re gonna do, Tariq?

TARIQ. Not marrying Nigget, put it that way!

SALEEM. You’ve no choice really.

TARIQ. Oh shut up Saleem!

SALEEM. I’m only stating facts.

MANEER. What’s Abdul said about it?

TARIQ. Oh he’s fucking useless.

SALEEM. I still think you’ve no choice.

TARIQ. I have. I either stay here and have me dad tell me what to do for the rest of me life, or I do what our Nazir did and go.

MEENAH. You can’t do that Tariq, what about me mam?

MANEER. She’s right, me mam got a right bollocking when Nazir left.

SALEEM. You can’t let her go through that again.

TARIQ. Yeah, alright, I know what happened, but I think she got bollocked ’cause he wanted to be a hairdresser, not ’cause he didn’t get married.

We hear banging on the door.

MEENAH. Who the fuck’s that now?

TARIQ. Go and see, Meenah.

MEENAH. No way, I went last time.

MANEER. If me dad finds me here, he’ll kill me.

TARIQ. He’ll do the lot of us if he sees what we’re eating.

We hear GEORGE shout through the letter-box.

GEORGE. Open door!

SALEEM. Oh shit!

GEORGE. Open bloody door!

MEENAH grabs the air freshener and starts to spray round the room, while SALEEM, TARIQ and MANEER hide the food. They run, leaving MANEER alone. He goes to let GEORGE in. Suddenly SALEEM sprints in and grabs his portfolio and sprints out again. ELLA enters the parlour with SAJIT . She lays him on on the couch, which has been made up into a bed. GEORGE is there as well. MANEER is now in the sitting room. He checks for any evidence and sees a sausage on the floor. He picks it up, doesn’t know what to do with it.

I go watch the news. You want tea?

ELLA. Yeah go on then.

GEORGE enters the living room.

GEORGE. What you doing?

MANEER has now thrown the sausage under the couch.

MANEER. Just looking for my other shoes, dad.

GEORGE. What time Abdul get back from work?

MANEER. About half past five, dad. How’s Sajit?

GEORGE. He fine now. Put kettle on for your mam, make tea.

MANEER goes into the kitchen.

You go to mosque today, puther?

MANEER (off). Erm, no dad, tomorrow.

GEORGE (lights fag). You good boy, God will help you, if you live your life believing in God. People who no follow the rules of God, he sending bloody hell. They have no chance in the world, like man we see on Sunday, he say, God say, send money, he bloody stupy, I tell you son. (He clears his throat.) He have nothing because he no understand God. Not educated you see. He say there is no God, we all God. This man bloody pagan . . . bhenchoud badahmarsh, if they no God, what we all bloody doing?

MANEER is completely confused in the kitchen.

MANEER. Yeah, dad.

GEORGE. You see, puther, this country not like our peoples, I been here since 1930, I try to make good life for my family. Your mother is good woman, but she not understand, son. I love my family, but all time I have trouble with people, they not like I marry you mother. Always calling you mother bad name. That why I always try to show Pakistani way to live is good way, parent look after children, children look after parent. English people not like this. All my family love each other. Bradford, Pakistan. All same, nobody different.

MANEER. I know what you’re trying to say, dad! (To himself.) It’s the others you’ve got to convince.

Fade out in the living room and kitchen and up in the parlour.

ELLA sits next to SAJIT on the couch, he’s dropped off to sleep. She hums to him and strokes his hair. ANNIE pops her head round the door. ELLA beckons her in, she’s got a bag of fruit and some comics for him.

ANNIE. How’s he doing?

ELLA. Alright, just a bit sore.

ANNIE. Poor little bleeder, where’s old bothered balls, he happy now?

ELLA. Next door. He bought him a new dressing gown and a watch.

ANNIE. Not much of a swap, but it’s better than nowt I suppose.

Pause.

ELLA. Annie . . . Do you think I’m a good mother?

ANNIE. What sort of bleeding question’s that? Course you are. What’s put that in your head?

ELLA. Well would you have put one of your lads through this?

ANNIE doesn’t answer.

ANNIE. You had no choice.

ELLA. I did though, Annie, I should have put me foot down and said no.

ANNIE. And given yourself a load of bleeding grief, you know what he’s like.

ELLA. I know, but now he wants to marry Abdul and Tariq off. Am I to just stand by and let him throw them out when they say no?

Pause.

ANNIE. Have they said owt to you?

ELLA. Abdul won’t talk about it, I t...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title page
• Contents
• Dedication
• Original Production
• Characters
• Act One
• Act Two
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information