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Scene One
As the lights come up there is no one onstage. It is daytime. We hear distant church bells. Music is playing softly on the stereo. We hear the toilet flush, and IAN, a man in his forties, comes out of the bathroom. He takes a tissue from the box and goes to the window, blowing his nose. He is a man who has struggled with many personal fears in his life and has had some victories, some defeats. The resulting struggle has made him very sharp. He is essentially a gentle man, but sometimes his desire to get to the lifeboats, to feel safe, drives him in ways that even he himself doesnāt fully understand. A loud ugly buzzer goes off. IAN turns off the stereo and goes to the intercom, picking up the handset.
IAN. Hello? (Pushing a button on the intercom.) Okay, come in.
Pause.
Are you in? Okay. (Pushing the button.) Push the door. Are you in?
Pause.
Hello? No? Okay, okay, hold on.
He hangs up the handset and goes out, leaving the door open. He goes down the stairs.
(Off.) Now.
JOHN (off). Sorry.
IAN (off). No, Iām sorry. Come on up. Yeah. It was fixed. I donāt know if all this rainā¦ Weāre all the way up, Iām afraid.
JOHN (off). Straight on?
IAN (off). Eh, the next one. Yeah. And thatās it there. The door is open.
JOHN comes in. He is in his fifties and dressed quite respectably. He has an air of confusion when we first see him, not just because of his recent experiences but also because he has yet to accept that the world is not as orderly and predictable as he thought. He has always found problems to arise from what he regards as other peopleās ignorance. He almost regards himself as a benchmark for normality. He carries an anorak. He seems very tired. IAN follows him in and indicates for him to have a seat on the sofa.
Now, right.
JOHN (sits). Thanks.
IAN (sits). Iām sorry about that.
JOHN. No, sure I wasnāt sure I had the rightā¦ I was in a bit of a flap, God, the parking around here is horrendous, isnāt it?
IAN. I know.
JOHN. I left myself a bit of time but I was almost like a kerbcrawler out there looking for a spot.
IAN. I know. I tell you Iām only here, Iāve only been here two weeks, and Iām not sureā¦ between ourselvesā¦ that Iām going toā¦ (Nods.) because thereāsā¦ many disadvantagesā¦
JOHN. Ah, no, I parked up in the hospital in the end, which is what I should have done in the first place. Iāll know the next time. Itās my own fault.
IAN. No, I know, I should have probablyā¦ But like I say, Iām still sort of only getting myself sorted out here but I should haveā¦
JOHN. Ah sure no, itās grand, sure Iām here now.
IAN. Yes! Well, good.
JOHN. Yeah, well, thatās the main thingā¦ Can I ehā¦ (Indicates water.)
IAN (indicates affirmatively). Please.
JOHN pours himself some water and drinks a few mouthfuls. IAN reaches around behind him and takes a letter from his desk.
Soā¦ (Glancing at letter.) Johnā¦ (Pause.) How are you?
JOHN. Not too bad. A bitā¦ Ehā¦ hehā¦ ehā¦ Iāve neverā¦ ehmā¦ been to seeā¦ someone beforeā¦
IAN. Alright. Well, thatās okay.
JOHN. Emā¦ (Doesnāt seem to know where to begin.)
IAN. I got a, I have a letterā¦
JOHN. Right.
IAN. From Dr Caseyā¦
JOHN. Thatās right. Yeah, he wasā¦ there was some guy he wanted me to see andā¦ we couldnāt get an appointment, for four months or something!
IAN. Okay.
JOHN. Yeah, soā¦
IAN. And you havenāt been sleeping so well. Is that right?
JOHN. Well, yeahā¦
Pause.
IAN. Which can be very debilitating, I know.
JOHN. Yeahā¦ and ehmā¦ (Holds his hand up to the bridge of his nose as though he is about to sneeze and there is silence. He is silently crying.) Can Iā¦? (Indicates tissues.)
IAN. Of course. Please.
JOHN (composes himself). Sorry.
IAN (reassuringly). Thatās fine. Thatās fine.
JOHN. You have the tissues ready and everything.
They smile.
Iām, em. Iām recently bereaved. I donāt know if Dr Caseyā¦
IAN (affirmative). Mm-hm.
JOHN. My wife passed away a few months ago. And emā¦
Pause.
Sheā¦ she, she died in em, horrible circumstances, really, you know?
IAN. Okay.
JOHN. She was in a taxi. And aā¦ stolen car crashed into them. And she wasā¦ trapped, in, the car. It was a, a horrific crash, and sheā¦ didnāt, she couldnāt survive. And I was on myā¦ I was too late getting to the hospital. And the ehā¦ reality ofā¦ the reality of it. Itās been absolutelyā¦ It really, nowā¦ Itāsā¦ (Nods.) You knowā¦
Pause.
IAN. I can, emā¦ I can only imagine whatā¦
JOHN. We have no children. And ehā¦ (Pause.) And Iāve ehā¦ been on my own an awful lot, you know? Like, Iāve really been on my own an awful lot of the time, really, you know?
IAN. Okay.
JOHN. And I donātā¦ I mean I donāt even know where she was that night, you know? Or where she was coming from. Do you know what I mean, you know? Like we werenāt evenā¦ communicating. At the time, do you understand me?
IAN. Okay.
JOHN. And no one else was injured. And Iāve noā¦ ideaā¦ whā¦ (Long pause.) But, em, Iāveā¦ emā¦ Iāve seen her. (Short pause.) Iāve emā¦
IAN. Sorry. Youāve seen her?
JOHN. Iāve seen her in the house. Sheās been in the house.
IAN. Youāveā¦
JOHN. Yeah.
IAN. This isā¦
JOHN. Yeah.
IAN. Sinceā¦
JOHN. Yeah, sinceā¦
IAN. Since sheā¦
JOHN. Yeah since sheā¦
IAN. Sorry, go onā¦
JOHN. Yeah, no, she emā¦ about eh, about two months ago. Iā¦ met up with my brother, I have a brother, Jim, and we met one evening, for a pint in Clontarf Castle. Weāre just, are we just going into this? You justā¦
IAN. Well, no, just whatever you want, you just tell meā¦ in your own, we donāt have to, you canā¦ Youāre telling me so, Iād like toā¦
JOHN. No I just, I wasnāt sure if, but, you know, weā¦ my brother, you know, we donāt, we havenātā¦ ehā¦ I donāt see him. You know, to a certain degree, weāve been out of contact. He only lives in Clontarf. But forā¦ you knowā¦ heā¦ but since theā¦ funeralā¦ He, you know, weāve had contact again. And itās fine, you know. But for a long timeā¦ heās been very supportive, but you know we donāt get on, basically, you know? And I donātā¦ thereās no need for meā¦ to infringe on his privacy and his family. And you know, so weāve drifted again. But em, theā¦ the last time that I saw him, this night that Iām talking about a couple of months ago. I mean, I could feelā¦ thatā¦ it was a sympathy vote, likeā¦ weādā¦ very little toā¦ to say to each other. And I mean, heās very quiet anyway, you know? And Iā¦ didnāt feelā¦ right, myself that evening, anyway andā¦ And I mean, there was noā¦ problem, as such. But Iā¦ just wanted to leave, you know? And I kind of just got a bit annoyed and I kind ofā¦ fuckingā¦ just went home, you know?
He checks with IAN, to see if this is all alright to continue with. IAN nods gently.
And ehā¦
And I didnāt reallyā¦ when I got home, there was nothing untoward when I got in the door. Only that I remember now, because I heard it again, there was the sound, the tune of an ice-cream van. The music, you know? But there couldnāt have been because they donāt go round at night. But, I heard it when I got in the door. And Iā¦ didnāt think about it orā¦ But ehā¦ I was, I was just going into the living room and I put the lights on, andā¦ when I turned around I could see that she was standing there behind the door looking at me.
Pause.
IAN. Your wife?
JOHN. Yeah. Sheā¦ I could only see half of her, behind the door, looking out at me. Ehā¦ but I could see thatā¦ her hair was soaking wet, and all plastered to her face. And I, I fucking jumped, you know? And I fucking just stood there, I froze, it was terrifying. And I mean she was as real asā¦ you know if youāve ever seen a dead body? How strange it is, butā¦ itāsā¦ real! That feelingā¦
IAN. And what happened then?
JOHN. I just, I donāt know how long we were standing there looking at each other. I mean it might have been only a few seconds. But it was like if youāre a kid and you get a fright, itās only for a second, you know, if you have a bad dream or you think you see something, but then, you wake up or thereās nothing there or whatever, but this just didnāt stop, I mean she was just there, and it was real. The feeling is likeā¦ I mean, I mean itās unbelievable, you know? Itāsā¦ itāsā¦ I canāt describe it.
IAN. And did sheā¦ did youā¦
JOHN. Well, finally, I donāt know how, but I just got my legs going and I just had no choi...
