Chicken Shop

Anna Jordan

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2014
• Topic: Literature
• eBook ISBN:
  9781780014999
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

A dark and twisted coming-of-age story by the Bruntwood Prize-winning author of Yen.

Hendrix is growing up. Or at least he's trying to. He's sick of his mother and her constantpreaching on the virtues of an organic lifestyle. And he's sick of her girlfriend, a twentysomething stunner who winds him up relentlessly. But most of all he's sick of the bullies at school, who think if his mum is gay then he must be too.

In a desperate attempt to prove his masculinity, Hendrix enters a very adult world - but gets more than he bargained for. He meets Luminita, a young girl enslaved in an unbearable life, and their secret friendship grows in snatched moments in a room above a chicken shop.

Anna Jordan's play Chicken Shop premiered at the Park Theatre, London, in September 2014.

ACT ONE

Scene One

HENDRIX, awkward, kind-hearted, earnest, sits at the breakfast table dressed in school uniform. He has a seriously floppy haircut. He is reading FHM magazine, and it is open to some very big-titted ladies. He has cereal spoon midway to mouth and is fixated. He hears his mother coming and quickly stuffs FHM in his bag. HILARY, grounded, earthy, a little worn but idealistic, walks through stage-right door, brushing her hair, her bottom half-dressed, but wearing a large greying bra.

HILARY. Morning!

HENDRIX (almost under his breath). Jesus Christ!

She passes straight through to the other door. He tentatively lifts FHM back out of his bag. KATIE, sparky, stunning, hyper-sexual, enters stage left wearing the smallest of towels and another towel covering her hair. He hides FHM immediately again. She flicks his ear, playfully, hard.

Ow!

She is gone. He glances back at the other door, goes to take FHM but then gives up. He takes a bite of the cereal, grimaces. He picks up the packet.

‘Organic Peace Muesli’. ‘Peace Muesli’. Fuck.

HILARY enters with an open shirt on and goes straight to a mirror on the fourth wall to do her minimal make-up. Throughout the scene she gets ready to go out.

HILARY. What are you ‘fucking’ about?

HENDRIX. Nothing. It’s just do you think we could try something nice for breakfast? Something that doesn’t look like it’s been swept out of a rabbit’s cage?

HILARY. There’s porridge or Amaranth Flakes if you don’t want that –

HENDRIX (reading). ‘Sugar-free, wheat-free, gluten-free, GMO-free’ –

HILARY. Just have some toast then – !

HENDRIX. – Taste-free… Fun-free!

HILARY. We have intolerances in this house, okay?

HENDRIX. I’m not intolerant. I’d say I’m pretty bloody tolerant.

HILARY. Katie can’t handle the gluten. She’s bordering on coeliac.

HENDRIX. Bordering on maniac.

HILARY. Hey!

Beat.

HENDRIX. Mother, I’m a growing… man. I need sustenance.

HILARY. Exactly!

HENDRIX. What I mean is what about a bit of bacon or sausage once in a while?

HILARY. Very funny.

Beat. HILARY looks over at HENDRIX, perturbed.

Do you eat meat when you’re away from home? (Beat.) Actually, don’t answer that I don’t want to know.

Beat. HENDRIX goes back to looking at the packet.

Jesus, when’s this weather going to break? I’m sweltering.

HENDRIX. Why do you have to bring all this stuff back from the shop? Eugh. ‘Dried prune powder’ –

HILARY (spins round). Okay, Hendrix! You go to the supermarket and get whatever sugar-coated Kellogg’s crap you fancy but you can bloody well pay for it yourself! And you’ll be sorry. When your glycaemic index goes through the roof.

HENDRIX. Oh yeah I’ll be fucking devastated, Mother!

HILARY. ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKS, HENDRIX!

Silence. She goes back to her make-up.

HENDRIX. God. What’s wrong with you?

HILARY. I’m bleeding.

He puts down his spoon heavily.

HENDRIX. Jesus Christ!

HILARY. What?

HENDRIX. Do you have to say that, Mum? Can’t you just –

HILARY. What? Use one of those ridiculous euphemisms? ‘It’s my time of the month’, or ‘I’ve got the painters in’.

HENDRIX. No you could / just say –

HILARY. Or ‘I’m on the blob’– ?

HENDRIX. NO! You could just say ‘I’ve got my period’. Like a normal person. Like a normal fucking person, Mother.

HILARY. ENOUGH with the FUCKS, Hendrix!

Pause. HENDRIX butters himself a piece of toast.

HENDRIX. So if I pay for the Kellogg’s myself I can have it, right?

HILARY. If that’s really what you want.

Beat.

HENDRIX. So if I pay for a PlayStation 4 can I have that?

HILARY. Oh not again! No!

HENDRIX. Why not? Same diff!

HILARY. You call yourself a feminist. Right?

HENDRIX. Yeah.

HILARY. Then do you really want to play a video game where you can pick up a prostitute, rape her, kill her and take your money back?

HENDRIX. That’s just one game!

HILARY. It’s violent, it’s misogynistic –

HENDRIX. Yeah but, Mum –

HILARY. And I’m not discussing it any more.

HENDRIX. Anyway, is it really rape if –

HILARY. DO NOT EVEN GO THERE, HENDRIX!

HENDRIX. Hey, no, I’m not saying it’s right I just… Oh forget it.

Pause. HENDRIX sulks.

What about the laptop then?

HILARY. We’ve got a laptop.

HENDRIX. My own laptop!

HILARY. Hendrix, play fair. I got you the TV, didn’t I?

HENDRIX. Yep. (So she can’t hear.) And it’s a piece of shit.

HILARY. Do you know children spend an average of six hours a day hooked into some kind of screen? It zaps your soul. Warps it. I don’t want that for you. I want you to / buck the trend.

HENDRIX. Buck the trend. Yeah. I get it, Mum.

HILARY. And apart from anything we can’t afford it.

HENDRIX. I was thinking maybe I could get one… instead of going to Barcelona.

HILARY. But you have to go. It’s part of your A level.

HENDRIX. Not really. I can do all the coursework for it while they’re away. On my laptop.

HILARY. Why don’t you want to go?

Beat.

HENDRIX. I don’t really get along with the boys in my history group.

HILARY. Why?

HENDRIX. I don’t know, do I? They’re just stupid.

HILARY. What about Melvin?

HENDRIX. Melvin...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Contents
• Original Production
• Characters
• Chicken Shop
• About the Author
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information