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ACT ONE
Afternoon. Snow falls outside. KELLY and CLAY sit side by side on the sofa. CLAY holds the BABY. They both stare at MR HADID, who holds his face in his hands and sobs quietly. This goes on for some time. Finally:
MR HADID. I am sorry.
CLAY (rapidly). No.
KELLY (the same). Don’t.
CLAY. It’s okay.
KELLY. It is so okay.
CLAY. More than okay. You should feel absolutely –
KELLY. However you need to . . . however the feelings have to . . . I mean, it’s loss, for God’s sake.
CLAY. And that loss, the grief that arises from loss . . . it would be unnatural to try to suppress –
KELLY. You can’t.
CLAY. You can’t do that.
KELLY. It’s harmful to do that.
CLAY. It is. No. What you’re doing. It’s the right thing, and an emotion, I mean, this is something we’ve been working on. The importance of honouring emotions in the moment that . . . (To KELLY.) What?
KELLY is trying to stop him.
What? I’m agreeing with you.
She mouths some words to CLAY.
(Quietly, to MR HADID.) I thought we were in agreement.
MR HADID wipes his eyes.
MR HADID. I am better now.
CLAY. But what we wanted to say was –
Then the BABY starts crying. Loudly.
Uh-oh. Hey now. Hey, mister.
KELLY. I’ll do it.
CLAY. Hey, Mister Angry Face.
KELLY. Clay.
CLAY. I got him.
KELLY. Let me do it.
CLAY. Whatsamatter, Groucho? Hey, Groucho Marx.
KELLY. Clay.
CLAY (laughing). Ohh, he’s mad, isn’t he? Look at that face! Grrrrrr!
KELLY. Would you let me do it?
CLAY. Heyyy. Shhh.
KELLY. Please just give him to me.
CLAY (handing BABY over to KELLY). He’s stopping. He’s stopping.
KELLY. Well, don’t bounce him.
MR HADID. Now I make him cry.
KELLY. No, no, no. Not you.
CLAY. I was only shushing him.
KELLY. We didn’t mean you.
CLAY. No, he just gets a little hyper if he doesn’t sleep through the night, but you should go ahead and . . . (To the BABY.) Huh? Feeling better now, huh? Yeah. (To KELLY.) I wasn’t bouncing.
KELLY. Jiggling, anyway.
During this, KAYLA has come downstairs, unnoticed. She picks up the TV remote and presses a button. The TV screen is filled with cartoons of clowns and loud children’s music fills the room. The BABY cries more loudly.
CLAY (loud, to KAYLA). Sweetie?
KELLY. Honey?
CLAY. Kayla?
KELLY. Not now, sweetie.
CLAY. Later, okay?
KELLY. We can watch that later, is that okay?
CLAY. After the grown-ups are done.
KAYLA switches off the set, extracts the tape and calmly leaves the room.
KELLY (to KAYLA, as she leaves). Thank you, sweetie.
CLAY (the same). That’s very nice of you. Very polite.
KELLY (the same). You’re very thoughtful.
CLAY. Very considerate.
She is gone. The BABY has stopped.
MR HADID. You were going to say?
KELLY. Yes.
CLAY. Yes. So. Okay. So the situation was: the day before. We’re having breakfast.
KELLY. I had just started going back to the office again.
CLAY. It’s the Tuesday before the holiday, and he (Re. the BABY.) had just been born and she’s on her way into the office in the morning and I’m making breakfast, I’m making eggs for Kayla.
KELLY. And Kayla goes, Mommy look.
CLAY. Shrieks, and says it.
KELLY. And I look, and there in her hand, right out of the bowl on the table –
CLAY. Kitchen table.
KELLY. This bowl has avocados in it and one of these avocados has been, what? Has been –
CLAY. – let’s just say gnawed.
KELLY. Gnawed on.
CLAY. Extensively gnawed upon.
KELLY. Right down to the pit, has been consumed. Something, some sort of –
CLAY. Non-human.
KELLY. Unless you know some human that bites into an avocado like it was an apple, all right? So, yes, some non-human creature has entered our house and is now feasting on our avocados.
CLAY. And of course the mind devises these scenarios.
KELLY. But the bottom line is: one, what sort of toothed creature are we dealing with; two, what is the point of entry; and three, where exactly is it now?
MR HADID. Do you have a pet?
Pause.
KELLY (an uncomfortable subject). Uhhh . . . no.
CLAY. No.
KELLY. No.
CLAY. No, we . . .
KELLY. No, although Kayla loves hamsters, about which I have said absolutely not.
CLAY. What with the allergies.
KELLY. No. Clay used to have a cat. But there’s toxoplasmosis.
CLAY. From the litter box.
KELLY. First trimester, harms the foetus.
CLAY. Potentially.
KELLY. Can harm.
CLAY. It’s not a certainty, but –
KELLY. It’s a risk.
CLAY. A low risk.
KELLY. Not a risk I personally would want to take.
CLAY. Not that I’m questioning the decision because ultimately it is a life we’re talking about and you have to ask yourself, do I give priority to a cat’s life? Or to . . . to . . . to . . . ?
KELLY. To a human life.
CLAY. Right. Right. Right. So. Right. So, we made the decision. I made the decision.
KELLY. You can say we.
CLAY. To have him killed.
KELLY (to MR HADID). Some people might say put to sleep.
CLAY (laughs). Well, I mean, he’s not exactly sleeping, is he? He’s dead, right? Chester is dead now and and and –
KELLY....
