Jonah and Otto

Robert Holman

• Publisher: Nick Hern Books
• Year: 2014
• Topic: Literature
• eBook ISBN:
  9781780015224
• Subtopic: British Drama
• Index: Literature

A humane, funny and ultimately haunting play that explores masculinity, identity and what it means to be English.

Over the course of a single day, two men share their solitude and unfold their secrets. They disagree with each other about women, about lust and about guilt. They question the power of magic, of redemption and the price of freedom, each seeing himself more clearly through the eyes of the other.

Robert Holman's play Jonah and Otto premiered in 2008 at the Royal Exchange, Manchester. This edition was published alongside its London premiere at the Park Theatre in 2014.

ACT ONE

Scene One

A secluded public garden in a seaside town on the south coast of England.

A brick wall with a heavy wooden door in it. The door is shut. An ornamental lamp-post, to one side, doesn’t quite reach the height of the wall. The light is on.

A summer night with a full moon. It is bright.

OTTO BANISTER is feeling the warmth of the wall with the palms of his hands. There is something sensual about the way he touches the bricks. He is 62. He is wearing a baggy, black suit and a grey shirt, open at the collar. The size of the wall makes him seem small and insignificant.

JONAH TEALE enters slowly and stops by the lamp-post. He is 26. He has slightly dirty fingernails. He is wearing jeans and a T-shirt with a worn, corduroy jacket. He watches intently.

It takes OTTO a while to realise someone is there.

OTTO. So what if I am. So what if I do feel lonely. I’m not saying that I do.

A slight pause.

So what if I am all sorts of things. I expect it’s what you’re thinking. It’s your eyes that are giving you away.

OTTO stops. He is embarrassed. He puts his hands deep into his trouser pockets.

So what if I am peculiar. I don’t care a jot. The point about having no friends is that you also have no enemies.

He feels the wall with the palms of his hands.

The bricks absorb the heat of the summer’s day, young man, and give it back to you at night. So what if you are a smart-arsed kid. Yes?

JONAH. I didn’t say a thing.

OTTO stops and looks at him.

OTTO. I think you were about to.

JONAH. Was I? I wasn’t about to say anything, grubby imbecile.

JONAH takes hold of the lamp-post, leans out and swings round in a full circle.

You know the furry stuff on your tongue after a disco? Is your brain full of it?

He swings round again. He comes to a halt.

I’m ridiculously worried, old man. I’m stony-broke, to be honest with you. My pockets are ridiculously empty.

OTTO thinks for a second.

OTTO. No. Not from me. I will not be bullied by a hoodlum like you.

JONAH. I need a bank raid of it, snotty-nose.

OTTO leans back against the wall.

OTTO. You must know you can hurt me. I can’t possibly stop you. I won’t give you money. You’ll have to hurt me for it.

JONAH. I can predict the future, but only when I know what’s going to happen.

The town-hall clock, nearby, strikes midnight. JONAH swings round the lamp-post once more. On the twelfth stroke he stops.

Only a little joke.

OTTO. Is it?

JONAH smiles.

JONAH. It could be in your heart to give us something.

OTTO. Why?

JONAH. It would be kindness, wouldn’t it?

OTTO. I’m not kind.

JONAH. I know. I can tell.

OTTO. I’ve no money on me at the moment.

JONAH. You’ve mountains of money. It’s coming out like you’ve got a sweat on. I can stink it from here.

He goes to OTTO. OTTO flinches. He puts his hand in OTTO’s jacket pocket and brings out a fifty-pence coin. He holds it on the flat of his hand.

Mister. See?

He throws the coin high into the air, and catches it by his own pocket so that it almost drops straight in.

It’s a disgrace to be poor. Is it my bloody fault?

He runs his hands down OTTO’s jacket. OTTO flinches. Unseen, he palms OTTO’s wallet. He holds out the flat of his hand where there is a fifty-pence coin.

You know what you are, piggy-wiggy?

OTTO. I expect you’re about to tell me.

JONAH. You’re a money box. You’re full of sour grapes. I don’t bet you are. I know you are. Is it my fault?

JONAH throws the coin into the air and catches it by his pocket so that it drops straight in. He moves away. He takes off his jacket. Almost without looking he hangs it on a tiny, unseen nail in the wall. The jacket seems to hang in the air. He goes to the lamp-post. On the way he looks in the wallet. He pockets the money. He takes hold of the lamp-post and swings round.

You know what else?

OTTO. Tell me.

JONAH. You’re a worm with a worm’s-eye view.

OTTO. How would you know what I am?

JONAH. I’m a fabulous guesser.

JONAH goes towards OTTO. He has a pack of playing cards tied with a rubber band. The band comes off. He shuffles the deck. He fans them.

Pick a card.

OTTO. What?

JONAH. Pick a card. Take a card.

OTTO. Why?

JONAH. Take a card.

OTTO hesitates.

Humour me.

OTTO takes a card.

Tell me if it’s not the seven of clubs.

OTTO looks at the card. He has the seven of clubs. JONAH fans the deck.

Put it back, old man.

OTTO puts the card back in the pack. JONAH ties them with the rubber band and puts them in his pocket.

What’s your favourite card?

OTTO. I don’t have a favourite card.

JONAH takes a pack of playing cards from his pocket and takes off the rubber band.

JONAH. Is your imagination in your cock? That’s no imagination at all. Pretend I’m a pretty girl.

JONAH shuffles the deck.

OTTO. The king of diamonds.

JONAH. Hold these.

OTTO takes the cards from him.

Where is it?

OTTO looks through the pack.

JONAH moves along the wall. He begins to remove a single brick that is loose.

You’re going to miss it.

OTTO joins him. The brick is out. OTTO puts his hand in the hole and finds a playing card. He holds it up.

OTTO. The king of diamonds.

JONAH. Is your brain full of dandruff?

OTTO. What?

JONAH. Your eyes need a hospital appointment.

OTTO looks in the hole. He finds his wallet. JONAH takes a hundred pounds in notes from his pocket. He fans the notes like he did the playing cards.

Are you in anguish, old man? You’ll tell me if I’ve not entertained you. I bet it’s been worth every single penny?

OTTO. You need to...

Table of contents

• Cover
• Title Page
• Contents
• Original Production
• Dedication
• Characters
• Jonah and Otto
• About the Author
• Copyright and Performing Rights Information