![]()
ACT TWO
Scene One
RICK stands in front of the class.
RICK. Good morning, class. As your teacher, I think it right and proper that I should let you know something of my plans for you.
He looks about the class. They say nothing but stare back at him.
Myā¦ my purpose in being here is to teach you and I shall do my best to make it as interesting as possible in what little time we have left together. If at any time I say something which you do not understand or with which you do not agree, I would be pleased if you would let me know.
Beat.
Iām going to, with your help, restructure the work we do here together. I want us to discuss your future. About what happens after you leave us this summer. Your hopes, dreams, the practicalities of looking for employment. From now you will be treated, not as children, but as young men and women.
As he says āwomenā he looks directly at the GIRLS, who all look rather sheepish.
Both by me and each other.
Suddenly, MONICA PAGE bursts in and sits down in her seat. She pulls out a textbook and lets her desk slam back down. Everyone looks at her. Then back to RICK, waiting for him to explode. RICK casually walks over to the door.
For instance, there are really two ways in which a person may enter a room ā
He opens the door.
One is in a controlled, dignified manner, the other is as if someone has planted a heavy foot in your backside. Miss Page has just shown us the second way; Iām sure she will now give us a demonstration of the first.
Everyone looks at MONICA PAGE.
Well, Miss Page?
MONICA PAGE, unsure, gets up and walks to the door, opens it and steps out closing it behind her. Moments later the door opens and she comes back through gently closing the door behind her and goes back to her seat.
Thank you, Miss Page. As from today there will be certain courtesies that will be observed at all times in this classroom. Myself you will address as Mr Braithwaite or sir ā the choice is yours. The young ladies will be addressed as miss and the young men will be addressed by their surnames.
SEALES. Why should we call them miss, when we know themā¦ sir.
RICK. Is there any young lady here you consider unworthy of courtesies, Seales?
All the GIRLS turn to look at SEALES as if daring him to say anything. SEALES is unnerved by them.
SEALES. Erm, no, sirā¦
The GIRLS turn back to RICK.
RICK. Iāve already made clear my pertinent points to the ladies last week. I will add that in the future they must show themselves both worthy and appreciative of the courtesies we men will show them. As Seales said, we know you. We shall want to feel proud to know you, and just how proud we shall feel will depend entirely on you. Now, gentlemen, there is nothing weak and unmanly about clean hands and faces, and shoes that are polished. A real man never needs to prove himself in the way he dresses or cuts his hair. Being a real man has nothing to do with muscle, fists and knifes. You have it in you to be a fine class, the best this school has ever known. But it is entirely up to you now. I am here to help, but ultimately the responsibility is on you. Now, are there any questions?
MONICA PAGE puts up her hand.
RICK. Yes, Miss Page?
MONICA PAGE. What about Mr Weston, sir? Heās never tidy and heās always picking his nose when he thinks youāre not watching him.
RICK. Mr Weston is a teacher, Miss Page, and we shall not discuss him.
There is a murmur of discontent.
I am your teacher, and Iām the one you should criticise if I fail to maintain the standards I demand of you.
The school bell goes. But the KIDS continue to sit. Neither RICK nor they know quite why there hasnāt been the sudden rush for the door.
Beat.
Thatāll be all for now. Thank you for listening.
They slowly rise and begin to gather up their things and head out of the door. As the door closes, RICK slumps back into his chair. A look of surprise on his face. As the lights fade we hear āHole in the Wallā by Albina Jones.
Scene Two
The KIDS are jiving away, watched by GILLIAN. RICK comes in and joins her.
GILLIAN. I was never very good at this. I think it has something to do with a middle-class upbringing and an abject fear of showing my knickers in public.
RICK. And thatās precisely what I want to ask you about.
GILLIAN. Flashing my unmentionables?
RICK. Could I ask a favour of you, Gillian?
GILLIAN. Ask away.
RICK. I told the girls in my class that youād give them some tips on deportment, how to dress well and make-up.
GILLIAN. You said what?
RICK. Itās one area of expertise I donāt have, Iām afraid.
GILLIAN. What on earth are you talking about?
RICK. Letās get out of here.
They head into the corridor and walk towards the staffroom.
They want to start looking their best.
GILLIAN. And they said this to you? Apropos of nothing?
RICK. Well, not quite. You seeā¦ I told them they all looked and acted like dockside tarts.
GILLIAN. You said what?
RICK. Itās a long story, but in short, they asked me how they were supposed to look. And I gave you as an example.
GILLIAN starts to laugh.
GILLIAN. Very well, count me in. They couldnāt do any worse, I suppose. At least my sojourn at an expensive finishing school wonāt have been a complete waste of time.
RICK. Thank you, Gillian. Youāve saved my neck.
GILLIAN. Howās it all going?
RICK. Well ā I think. Iām trying to look at things differentlyā¦ My approach. I feel theyāre beginning to trust me a little.
GILLIAN. Really?
RICK. Well, theyāre speaking to me.
GILLIAN. Thatās always a good sign.
RICK. More importantly, Iām getting to know them a little more.
GILLIAN. But tha...
